My retirement

I am an american who has been fortunate enough to live in Europe, Germany to be exact, for around 2 years. I lived around 2.5-3 hours from Holland and we would often take day trips to Maastricht to buy some puff and mush, sometimes X. Pretty much everything can be found, and we or our friends had gone so many times we had great connections for cheap substances.

One one trip I bought several bags of copelandia cyanescens(the absolute TOP of the line) and about 6 grams of Citrel(marijuana). One bag has enough mush for 2 people, but when the time came to eat I ate the entire bag. Now lots of people say the taste is awful, which it is, but these mushies are so small(a few blades of grass size) and potent it is not that big of a deal. I simply put them in my mouth and washed them down with water. After eating them, about fifteen minutes later the bong came to me(in Europe it is not Puff Puff Give, it is smoke until you are high and then pass...it doesn't take much...the weed is unbelievable). I took a few hits and was not gonna move anywhere for several hours--I had forgotten that I had eaten an entire bag of mush.

I found myself staring at this bottle of Cherry Liquor when everything around it started to twist and turn. I was unable to focus on anything in this room except for that bottle. This room was a dump(not mine!), and this bottle somehow signified order to the chaos. I was transfixed on it for several minutes when I realized that the mush was taking hold---it was already late and I then realized it was not smart to have done this(1.30am). There were a few other people also here on mush and they decided to go outside for a cigarette. I was unable to move, totally fixated on this bottle and other objects in the room. They were morphing, changing into Pigs and other things. Luckily before they went outside they put in some good trance which I could feel, I became. When they came back I tried to expand on some of my theories, mainly my theory about a Blow Job Hat...nothing I said made any sense. At about 4 it was time for us to go--my friend was hitting the sack. Damn it! I can't go home like this! I felt the urge to lay on his steps which I did. They transformed into this comfortable bed, I didn't want to move. I eventually had to, and we all went outside. I again went to lay down on the steps outside for a few minutes. I was put into a car, which I thought was a tank. I could no longer make any sentences or talk about anything. Just blabber. In the car, I tried to put my jacket on. It didn't work. I could not find where the sleves ended and the jacket began, I could not figure out which was was up and which was down. I put it on inside out, but I didn't care, this was comfortable. I was in the front and we started driving. The villiage passed by in a literal blur--all the buildings were identical and each had a different face composed of the windows and door. They just kept coming...there was no end! We had to stop for a train...I didn't realize it until later when I saw the train. It was moving towards us but making no progress! It was coming closer but stayed the size I first saw it. I got dropped off at my house at about 4.30am and somehow managed to get my key into its hole. There was no way I was going to sleep, I knew this. When I entered my house I was so fearful of my parents being awake..but why? Why would they be awake at this hour? I just knew they would be. Alas, they weren't. I dropped my keys into a tray filled with coins and the coins rippled out in circles like water. SHIT! Still going strong! I went upstairs and into my room. There were so many clothes on the floor, they looked like an ocean, with big waves. I made my way through this ocean to my bed--no chance of sleeping. I started to think. I do not remember the first thoughts that came into my head, but they eventually turned bad. I had no clock--became convinced I had been in my bed for hours. I went downstairs to get some OJ. The TV began to talk to me, I knew it was off and I payed no mind. This was not going well. I went to piss---they toilet had a face in it...I was pissing on someones face! I dared not to look in the mirror. Back in my room I passed the ocean and got back into bed. Terrible thoughts began to enter my mind. No clock I thought. I had been here for hours---I was never going to stop tripping. Never. I can't live like this. I considered telling my parents I was on drugs...but got even more scared so I plotted my suicide. I would wait until 3 in the afternoon, walk to my friends house, tell her I was going to kill myself because I never stopped tripping, then walk to the Castle on the mountain and jump off the cliff. Either that or walk to the Autobahn and jump in front of a truck. Terrible thoughts. Horrible. I could not stop moving in my bed, either. I would try to get comfortable, tucking myself in and stop. But I didn't! I was still squirming and moving in my bed. It took me what seemed like an hour to get myself to stop squirming in that bed. Then the drug played with my mind---I thought I was coming down, no longer tripping when BAM! full visuals and mind bending thoughts entered my mind. I was going insane I thought. Why did I do this to myself? I could not handle it. My mind was melting and I was going to die. Kill myself...because I was to never stop tripping, I was going mad. Eventually I dared myself to go downstairs---it was 3pm and I was not tripping. Thank the Good Lord! When did it stop? How long was I going mad? When did sleep take my pain away? That is something I will not ever know but am grateful it did. After this experience I vowed never to touch trippy drugs again---stick to the green---which I have done now for several months.