First Time - feeling one with nature on a rainy hike
I'm 22, recently graduated from college.
I'm 22, recently graduated from college. I was pretty late getting into this game. I never smoked during high school at all. I smoked a few times when the opportunity presented itself during my first few years of college. But it wasn't until spring senior year that I really became anything resembling a stoner. That's when I started purchasing weed on my own, bought a pipe, and started carrying around lighters. During my senior spring I smoked up at least a few times per week, sometimes every day. Anyway, I grew pretty comfortable with weed, its effects and drawbacks and benefits. I've done a lot of reading about the scientific and medical properties of weed. I heard talk of shrooms during this time, but I was never able to come by any. This fall I'm out of college and living at home temporarily in a suburb near San Francisco. On a trip into the Haight District in San Francisco, I realized that shrooms are not at all difficult to come by. The Haight is where the psychedelic movement began, and there are still a lot of hippies hanging around there today. I've read a lot about the 60s. I totally identify with the political and social movements of the era, and wish I had been around to experience the war protests and the summer of love myself. You can't walk into Golden Gate Park near Haight without being offered "buds" by a hundred different people. I chose one particularly old hippie and asked if he could get me some shrooms and sure enough he could. I paid $40 for what he said was 1/4 ounce. I'm not sure if it was really 1/4 or not. There were about 7 mushrooms, of varying sizes. Now I know its probably not best to eat shrooms that you don't know the background of, from a total stranger. But I didn't really have any other choice. The guy was perfectly nice. I trusted that he wasn't ripping me off.
I ate these shrooms on three separate occasions. I ate them alone each time because right now, living at home, I don't have a lot of friends nearby, and those that I do wouldn't be interested in shrooming. The first two times I don't think I really got the full experience and I would count them as mildly negative experiences. The third time was pretty good.
The first time I only ate a small amount. I did this to test the batch, make sure they weren't bad. Make sure they were really magic mushrooms. I ate one small mushroom, probably the equivalent of about 1 gram. I ate it in my house, at night, alone, after I had smoked a bowl. I'm honestly not sure if I felt the effect of the mushroom at all. I think I might have felt a little funny. I kept expecting something to happen, like visuals, and they never did. I did look in the mirror at one point and my face looked kind of funny and metamorphized a bit. And I remember being surprised that my pupils were somewhat dilated, even though I didn't think I was feeling the effects of the shrooms. I took that as evidence that these were in fact real magic mushrooms. Then I went to get in my hot tub, and was in for a shock. The whole rim of the hot tub was crawling with ants! And the surface of the water was covered in ants. At first I was frightened. Then I thought, "Oh man, this must be a hallucination. Ha ha!" But then I realized they were real. There really were ants all over the hot tub. I hate creepy crawling critters, and I'd never seen anything like this before in my hot tub. That experience pretty much ruined my first shroom experience.
The second time was probably doomed from the beginning. I should have waited. I ate them only 5 days after the first time. I was really anxious to see what a real shroom trip was like. I was housesitting at someone else's house. It wasn't a place I was real familiar with. This time I ate more like 2.5 grams. My mistakes were that I ate them after smoking a bowl again, and that it was in an unfamiliar place, and that it was nighttime. I waited for something to happen and nothing ever did. I just started to get kind of anxious. I felt kind of like I was drunk. Like being really slow and kind of clumsy. I watched a little TV. I think COPS was on, and that just really bothered me. Then I got into bed (at about 8pm) and just lay there in bed, tossing and turning, trying to ignore whatever I was feeling. I'm not really sure how to describe it, but it wasn't a good feeling. I remember thinking I was feeling tired, but not being able to go to sleep. After about 2 hours of that, I got up and went in the hot tub at this house I was housesitting for. This time there were no ants, and that made me feel relieved. By this time I think I was pretty much back to normal. I was happy for that.
I waited over 2 weeks before my final try (I didn't want to wait too long because I wasn't sure how long the shrooms would last). This time I ate them during the day. At 10am, in fact. And I made specific plans for what to do. I would go on a hike. I had my whole backpack full of supplies—water, map, energy bar, sunglasses (to hide my pupils), and poncho because it looked like it was going to rain. I've been hiking in the hills around my town for years so I know all the trails really well and knew I wouldn't get lost.
This time I ground up the rest of my shrooms into little pieces. And I didn't smoke any weed. I ate what was left - about 3.5 grams, I guess, and set off. At first I felt a little nauseated and drunk and like I was going to throw up. I just told myself that it was all psychological and that I wasn't really going to throw up, and sure enough, I didn't. I decided to take a lesser known trail because I wanted to avoid running into people for awhile during the peak of the trip. It had been raining for several days and everything was very damp and green and fragrant. It was beautiful. I found a little grove off the trail and just sat there for probably about 1.5 hours during the peak of the trip. It was kind of like meditating, I guess. I haven't done much meditating, but I respect those who do. I never really felt that high, or psychedelic, or trippy, but I definitely felt SOMETHING, and it wasn't bad like before. Even when it started to rain, I didn't mind. I had my poncho, and the cover of the trees above. I felt very at peace with the world. I remember just feeling very "earthy" and "crunchy", whatever that means. Also, I had my iPod and some chill Beatles tunes, which can never hurt.
I did experience some visuals. I noticed that textures were morphing and moving. Also, if I concentrated on something long enough, it started to breathe. I saw the earth breathing, and the trees breathing. Since I was totally surrounded by nature, everything around me was ALIVE and I could sense this. I've been having some issues recently regarding my social life, girls, etc. I know it is not recommended to eat mushrooms during psychological strife. But I'm happy to report that I think the shrooms actually helped. They helped me sort through some things. I think they helped me see through a lot of the bullshit. They helped me come to a sort of realization that I've been seeing myself from this sort of detached 3rd person perspective, and that I had all these negative self-impressions that really have no basis in reality. I think the shrooms actually helped me gain more confidence. I've always been a shy person, especially around girls, but through the shrooms I came to the realization that I really am a desirable person, and that if I just talk to girls, without worrying about all the bullshit, and worrying about how I look to them, I'll be alright. This has still yet to be tested out, but in the two days since the shrooms I've been feeling a lot better, believe it or not.
What I experienced was probably between a Level 1 and Level 2 trip, based on what I've read in other peoples' trip reports. I was never disconnected from reality. I always knew who I was and where I was. But it was a really nice experience. I remember just thinking that nothing else really mattered. I was there in nature and it was beautiful, and I was safe and happy, and if I wanted I could just wander this earth with my poncho and survive anything. I thought a lot about homeless people, who wander the earth. I thought about how funny it is that human beings wear clothes and build houses and pollute the earth, when no other animals do. All other animals can survive outdoors, why can't humans?
Also, maybe it was because of all the recent rains, but everywhere I went on that hike I spotted MUSHROOMS! Of all different colors and shapes and sizes, all over the forest. Now I want to read up on how to find shrooms in the wild. I know it is a dangerous sport because some of them are poisonous, but I want to educate myself.
I think the shrooms I ate were probably pretty weak. I'm going to try to find some stronger ones for next time and take them with a friend or sitter. But for now, I'm happy that I was able to have a positive experience with them.
Oh by the way, just before I left on my hike I looked in the mirror and my pupils were HUGE. Even 6 hours later when I got home, and the high/trip was definitely over with, I thought my pupils were still larger than normal.