I’m writing this 6 days after I had my first real trip. I also still feel that I am an uber newb to shrooms as I can’t wait to have a life changing trip where I visit the land of my novel Euthanasia or something. Hopefully I can explain this place pretty soon as I haven’t been there yet. However this doesn’t mean my trip was lame it was in fact far from it.
It all started on the afternoon of the shroomass day. Firstly me and my jimmies king Desai, Monsieur Chav and Carl went to El Bastardo’s to buy some shrooms. El Bastardo’s is home to this old South American stoner witch who sells every possible legal drug in the U.K. including poppers, salvia, herbal pills and of course shrooms. Here I bought 10 grams of cubensis plus 2 grams discount as we are her favourite stoners. We then fucked off to home bargains to get some munchies where we encountered our most feared citizens. Yes you know them by there proud titles of citizen’s police with there feared citizen’s arrest. King Desai being a tool then shouted out of no where really loud so everybody in the shop could hear “is this in the street” we then had to go and hide or we would have been subjected to the citizen’s arrest which would have been pretty cool at the time but not now as just 2 days ago me king desai and Reese a fellow stoner from college nearly got owned by the boon arse patrol for drugs offences. It was here that I suggested we should go camping and shroom it all night. We then stood there for about 10 minutes planning it which made us late for maths. This was not good because we were on report at the time and we later got owned by our course leader Dragon man aka John Charlton. “This is not good. I may have to think about withdrawing you. I didn’t get paid enough to be the weatherman. Well” he said “young Fred” so I put a bullet through his head and lit up a cigarette. As we left college we told monsieur Chav that we’d do graffiti if he sang to us in French. Me and king desai then walked to town and met up with Carl. We then went and got about 30 grams more of shrooms. 10 of them were a present from El Bastardo for being such good stoners. We also got 12 herbal pills as well and a pipe to do weed out of.
It was now about half 9 and me king desai and Carl were walking to Tesco’s to get some supplies. Once there we brought a tent, a kettle some drinks, sausages and a disposable barbecue. This must of looked pretty odd to the good shoppers of Coventry as we carted this odd array of stoner shopping around. As we got outside it was raining really hard so me and Carl chilled with some poppers and took our pills. While we watched King Desai set up the tent. Once it was up we were all soaked but had to go inside the shitty little tent. By now the pills were starting to take effect and we did some more poppers. I now had an uba headache and was freezing the night was fucked. It then stopped raining so we made a small fire outside and heated the shrooms up on the barbecue. Max then came down and poured some poppers on the fire which nearly set fire to his leg, lol. We then drank the shroom juice me having the most. As soon as we finished we all heard faint distant sirens gradually moving closer. We quickly grabbed the stuff we needed and ran to Max’s where we needed to go anyway to get the weed of his sister. Once there the five of us chilled smoking the weed and listening to the futureheads. Someone then passed me a poster of the new star wars film. It freaked me out completely. It looked like this evil face was staring at me. It was in fact more scary than a Chav outside McDonalds staring at you lol. When I think back to it looked like a robotic goblin which probably set off a chain of events.
By now I was feeling really drowsy from all the different drugs in me. Max was now sitting in front of me and the light cast over his face made it look really evil and black AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH. He then went out and boiled up the last 10 grams. When I drank it I could taste absolutely nothing but then I guess the aftertaste swept over me and I just saw and felt me stroking a piece of wood. After I had finished stroking the piece of wood this pictogram with 3.4 apples swept in front of me representing what I had just done. It was a language that only I could understand. From then on everything that was said or done was afterwards represented by a pictogram or binary making all thoughts and actions really complicated and slow. I then remember everybody else running around in the kitchen and outside. They all seemed to be panicking. At this present time everybody was looking like goblins so I assumed that the house was surrounded by goblins lying just out of sight ready to assault the house in an empty city. When I looked out at the garden king desai was standing in the kitchen however he looked different. He looked human but he had this really wide evil grin on his face. He was standing there with this lil punk pose as if he was holding a sack over his shoulder like a thief. A thief is the only word that can describe it. I went to call out that there was a thief in the house but the words couldn’t leave my mouth. The only thing I could do was show them the pictogram but that was impossible. I was now feeling really paranoid and scared. Just then I was swept before this royal looking woman .All I could see was this face with a blurred background. She towered before me but I was afraid that she would strike me down if I looked up at her. Finally I gathered up all my courage and looked up at her. She had kind eyes and an all knowing calming voice. She stared into my eyes and said “ow I’m gonna lead you down way down let me take you on a journey full of sound and peace.” But I was then transported back to reality and on to another chapter. Later Max’s sister rolled up a splith and we all smoked it. The feeling that swept over me was the most powerful and incredible I have ever felt. It felt as though I had been drowning in water miles from the shore all this time and my head had just penetrated the surface. I now realised that I had to get back to the shore and back home. When I left the house it felt as if I was heading into the wilderness. Travelling somewhere could be anywhere. There’s a coldness in the air but I don’t care. I then bumbled down the street thinking how I am going to get to Tesco’s from here as I did not know the area. Amazingly I made it first time. It felt as if I had a guide hovering above the storm clouds watching over me. Like how Zeus watched over Persius in clash of the titans. However I quickly stopped believing this as I got completely lost and ended up walking around hugh warehouses for about an hour. When I found my way back to the city I looked in between two houses. The sun was rising in this picture pose frame above some hills. It looked so uber so I just stood there for a while. I was now getting really pissed because I didn’t have a clue where I was and it seemed as if I had been walking around for hours. I glanced at the side of a house as I walked by and saw a trees reflection on its white wall. Sitting on its branch with no features was a pixie goblin thing rocking back and forth pointing down a road. I then walked down it and recognised where I was. When I finally got home I lay on my bed reflecting back on what I had seen listening to British Sea Power. The sun outside had now fully risen making everything uber bright lol.