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Long term overview, some safety tips

Ok, well, hmm, .



Ok, well, hmm, ...

Not an easy thing to do...to write an overview of my experiances with boomers up until now. I guess I'll start with the "boring" stuff. First off, no driving. At least on solid ground. No cid, blacklist that one. It's better to grow your than to buy. When is it not. Wear warm clothes. Bring a towel. "Never get off the boat." Sunglasses during the day, but not at night, usually. A bear might be able to make it to the boat, I know a dog could, but a moose would most certainly be f*cked in the ocean.

Aright, that's better...

Do not get behind the wheel of anything while you are tripping. Especially a car. I like boating while tripping but find that it is best to nominate an inanimate object, such as a tree or stump, to do the driving. If you eat 'em before you leave the dock realize that you have about 15 minutes before your brain will be in serious trouble, turn the engine off as soon as you get there, do not turn it on again for five hours. Tell the other idiots to slide into the water, not jump, you don't want anyone jumping on the captain.

About half of my trips have been on a boat, on the deserted end of the lake (any lake will do in a pinch), mostly after dark (do not forget to use running lights while getting to your favorite stump)(do not forget to turn off running lights once you tie up to captain twiggy).

Proffesionals only:

If the gods like you, you and yours may just get away with this one. Captains...low dose or no dose for this one, you don't want to loose a friend to a prop. Strap your biggest, toughest friend into a neoprene (mis-spelled) ski vest. Lash some skis to him and toss that f*cker in the water. This usually requires a pretty crazy f*ck, now that I'm thinking about it. The rest should be obvious but here it is anyhow. Tow 'em behind the boat. Try to time this so that the guy is half way sane when you toss 'em in the water. Adrenaline will kick in if he can actually get up on the skis, and by the time he crashes he will be completely insane but hopefully skiing will stip be a viable option for his brain, and you can proceed to ski until the sun goes bellow the horizon. A not to the wise. If you can find a strech of water the lines up with the setting sun, you can make the sun un-set by driving away from the coast closest to where the sun is setting.

We though we where hot shit for pulling most of this off. Then we see this boat haul about eight skiers out of the water. That blew our mind so we went to find our favotite stump of a captain and tie up.

This has failed misserably as a long term overview, I ought to name this a stream of conciousness writing about boating, but that would make too much sense. In any case see the appendix for long term results of tripping.



Appendix S:

Be careful.
Know that you can't be all that careful and plan ahead.
Lots of blood is a bad sign as long as it's real, bite the bullet, call 911.

Appendix T:
Started off insane and worried about it. Now I realize that we're all insane. The first step is simply realizing that your insane. Then figuring out that everyone is insane. Then try and pull it all together again in an effort to refine your brand of crazy into something a conesuere would be proud of ;P.

A healthy heart and a good soul help emminsly (spelling again), anyone know where I can find 'em?

Now for a nice swim in the void....

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