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In a Nightmare

My friends and I went to a river during a nice sunny Saturday.

My friends and I went to a river during a nice sunny Saturday. I decided to try shrooms a bit impulsively, which might have been a mistake. Both of my friends decided to just get drunk and smoke some hash because they're were not enough shrooms. I felt secure taking the shrooms since I was a beautiful place and I was among trusted friends who had previously taken shrooms. Wow, was I in for a surprise.

12:00- I took one big shroom and two little ones and a couple stems (I'm female, 16, and 130 lbs). I'm really not educated about shrooms but I think it was around an 1/8. I paid $25. I waited awhile and nothing seemed to happen. Then BOOM everything changed.

1:00- The pattern of the blanket I was lying on covered all the sand around me. Geometric designs were embossed onto the sand and it seemed like snakes were crawling and making tunnels underneath the ground. My friend's bikini prints covered their faces and bodies. The veins in my arms and hands turned black. I felt acute nausea in my stomach, almost to the point of vomiting. Intricate Tattoos also appeared on my body, in floral designs. My friend handed me peanuts and they turned into maggots. One of my friends turned into a haggard old woman. I bounced between feelings of euphoric happiness and then panic. I felt like I could see everyone's soul. A few of my friends had beautiful glowing "auras" surrounding them, and a few friends had a negativity which frightened me, even though they were acting the same as usual.

2:00-My friends wanted to go smoke, and all I wanted to do was lie still and be alone. They left me alone, which was ok. I was lying on my stomach, looking at a bridge across the river. The bridge bent completely sideways and started to breath and change colors. Little tiny gargoyle faces formed on the bridge's surface. It frightened me a little bit so i closed my eyes. This was the scariest part. When I closed my eyes I saw hundreds of marching men with skeletal faces all staring at me, mouths gaping open. I kept on asking them "What do you want?" but they would just stare at me. I blinked and then saw women in bikinis with skeletal faces staring at me. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath and was shocked that I could breathe. It seemed it was the first time I had ever taken a breath. I sat up and felt completely limp, and i could barely remember how to move my limbs. Strange whispering noises became louder and louder. I thought the other people on the river were calling my name. Suddenly a voice was telling me that I was only a spirit occupying my body, and that I should be thankful. I had the feeling like I was being reborn, but at the same time if I did not concentrate I would disappear. I felt like I was sinking into the ground, being part of the earth. It was both amazing and frightening. I became overwhelmed with observations about life and new ideas, flooding into my head, which now I can't really remember in detail and it is impossible to explain. I would forget that I had taken shrooms and wonder what I was doing and who I was. My friends came back, and I was snapped out of my trance.

3:00- I started to feel really concerned about my health. The sun overhead became an enemy and I obsessively rubbed sunscreen all over my body. The consistency of the sunscreen really bothered me, because it felt like a gooey slime. I kept on looking at my hands and legs in surprise, because I would forget that I had a body. Time seemed endless yet went fast at the same time. The sand that stuck to my body disgusted me and the unorganized towels, food, and garbage that surrounded me made me very uncomfortable. I kept on trying to organize things but I couldn't understand how to use my hands. The fat people around me horrified all of my senses. I had to avoid looking at them because it would make me nauseated. My friend had the munchies and ate a melted chocolate bar that turned into a piece of dog shit. A group of trees across the river turned into a giant jungle god made out of leaves, that danced to imaginary music and whispered to me. There were three clouds above me that seemed to move around in hyper motion.

4:00- My friend's parents had to pick us up soon, and I started to feel panic. We had to gather up our stuff and walk up a hill to the parking lot. This was extremely difficult to do. My friends were all shitfaced so I had to organize everything, which stressed me out. Walking up the hill was like a long, difficult journey, although in reality it probably only took like 1 minute. I felt very concerned about my need to go to the bathroom, because I could not remember how. When I went to the bathroom the walls were breathing and there were living creatures in the toilet water. I went pee, although when I finished I couldn’t remember how i did it. When i left the bathroom I felt completely lost, and I didn't know how to find my friends. I found them after a few minutes of panic. I sat by my friends in silence, because I felt a sudden acute loneliness and depression. My life seemed pathetic, my friend's seemed mean, and I wanted to cry and go home to my mom and confess everything. My whole world seemed to crumble apart, and I felt that no one would ever understand the pain and confusion I was experiencing. Everything my friends said seemed superficial and fake, which bothered me immensily. I pretended that I had not seen or felt anything weird because I thought that they would all laugh at me and hate me forever. I thought I had gone insane and would never feel normal again.

4:30- We were driving on the highway and I felt in immediate danger the whole ride. The road seemed to stretch and I had no idea where I was. Cars zoomed past and were loud like frightening monsters. I did not know how to act in front of the parents, although later my friends said i was acting normal the entire time.

5:30- When we got home i felt very relieved but depressed. My friends started to argue about lost keys, which made me very, very afriad, so i called another friend to pick me up. I took a shower at her house, and I looked at myself naked in the mirror. My body looked hideously ugly and distorted, which made me cry. I spent the rest of the day trying to understand what had happened to me. I cried a few times because i felt no one could ever understand me, including myself. I had to eat dinner at my friend's house. Her mom's potatoe salad was breathing, and my food seemed to all have the same salty consistancy. I felt sick after. The rest of the day got better, but I still felt disturbed by my experience. The next day I felt almost completely better, a little tired, but not depressed.

After that I don't think I will ever do shrooms again. It was by far the most stressful experience I had ever had. I really can't explain the magnitude of my emotions that day, even I can't fully remember some of the profound thoughts I experienced.

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