immortality?

I grew about 40g of cubensis with an off the shelf grow kit. They weren’t spectacular specimens as I forgot to water them and they stopped growing halfway through. The ones that did open up had very small heads.
On Saturday night I was at a loose end – nothing on TV etc so I decided to try out the cubensis. I had about half at 11.30 and the rest about 12.30. I’ve had quite a few semilanceata since autumn which has resulted in a reasonably high tolerance, so I wasn’t expecting the effect to be particularly strong. I played computer games and read a book until 3.30 when I decided to go to bed.

My room is in the attic, which has a low ceiling. The ceiling is lowest just above my pillows. The ceiling is white with painted chipboard wallpaper. This is a really ugly way to decorate a room, but tonight there was (unsurprisingly) a really interesting visual effect. When I lay down on my bed, I could see that the woodchips in the wallpaper cast little shadows, which seemed to appear and disappear. After a while it became hard to tell how far the ceiling was away from me. The head of my bed is in a small recess in the wall, so the walls to the left and to the right are really close to it. They are also white, and have a similar textured surface to the ceiling. They merged with the ceiling so that all I could see was like the inside of a white dome. My duvet and sheet are white, so everything in my line of site was white.

At this point I started to relax, listening to my breathing (in a similar fashion to meditation). I was totally immersed in myself, in a trance like state. This is when it started to get weird. I became aware that I was communicating with a third party that was trying to persuade me to rise up out of my body. I still had my eyes open and was looking at the ceiling. I started to get a feeling of amazing power, that I could do anything.

The third party explained to me that I was born for this moment: all I had to do was rise up out of my body and I could become lord of the world. If I did I would become immortal and part of something much more wondrous. However it was now or never: this would the only chance ever that I would get to do this. This was accompanied by an amazing feeling of energy and power.

I then got confused about time and about cause and effect. Several things that had happened in the past few months all came together. An argument / discussion I had had that morning with a canvasser for a gospel church had been an attempt to show me my divine nature. The fact that a couple of months ago I had bought I a white duvet cover was preparation for this moment of ascension. Apparently all man / gods are wrapped in white when they leave their bodies. My room was on the top floor, close up to the sky so it would be easier to rise up. These reasons (and a few others) were all offered as proof of my immortality / god like qualities. They don’t look very convincing now, but believe me when it happened I believed it 100%.

So what did I do? The offer was kind of scary (I wasn’t sure that I wanted to leave the world just yet), so with a massive effort I sat up, knowing that I would never be offered this opportunity again. This broke the immersion experience which had been triggered by my white surroundings. Breaking the experience was like diving up through layers of myself. I sat there panting for a few moments, slightly shaken up. I thought about phoning some friends to ask them if it was a good idea to leave my body, but I decided that they wouldn’t be ready for the question.

After a few minutes, I turned on Radio 4 to get some normality back. I clung to the news reports, forcing myself to understand them. This was quite an effective way to get back to some sort of rational state. There was no way that I had been this trashed when I went to bed. I then agonised over changing my duvet cover. I was certain that if replaced the white (and hence godly) duvet covet with my blue one I would not be summoned again. But I left it on, reasoning that it was all in the mushrooms. My white cover bugged me for the rest of night, but I refused to change it. The rest of the night was quite uneventful, apart from the birds dawn chorus, which I interpreted as an attempt by the bird spirits to get me to come out to play.

It was a very weird experience, and intensely real. I have never felt anything like the sense of power that ran through me (except maybe once in January after a large amount of semilanceata, but that’s another story). I have to say that I’m not a religious / spiritual person at all. On another occasion I have spoken with my ancestors: they told me that I should take more mushrooms more often as it would help keep the world going. Not exactly the type of advice my parents would be happy about.

If I get the offer again I think I’ll take it. Next time I’ll know that it’s not real. Just as long as I can figure out a way to get out of my body.