I'm NOT Satan!

Alright, here's how it went:

Me and a buddy o' mine, Mike, had been trying to get our hands on some mushrooms for quite a while. It had been like a month since either of us had shroomed. We had to resort to acid, dramamine, and Robo DM to trip. They're alright, but acid and drama make your muscles all tight. Robo is pretty cool (more hallucinations) but it gets you all retarded and stuff.

So, finally he got a quarter. We worked all day, got some trip toys together and went to my house. Our friend Brett was also gonna be there with his guitar and about 8oz. of robo.

I set up three lawn chairs, citronella candles, and my stereo in my backyard. My mother had no idea what I was doing. Haha. So Mike and I measured out the booms on his scale and chewed 'em up and washed 'em down. They hit very nicely in the first 20 minutes or so. We got everything all ready to go and by the time the fungi kicked in, we sat down on the lawn chairs, popped in Floyd's "The Division Bell", and just admired all the nice little gnomes in the sky.

We started to talk about the book Mike was reading at the time, Master and the Margarita. It was about Satanic influences in the Russian Revolution from Czarism to Communism. The Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" is based on the book. The book is all about the devil and his sidekick, a black cat who drinks lots of gin and slices people's heads off with one, long claw. Now, I have a black cat and Mike, not wanting any reason to have a bad trip asked me to keep the cat out of the room.

Well anyway, Brett showed up and guzzled his 8oz. of robo. It takes a little while to reach a decent affect, so he sat down and began to strum on his guitar. The music was incredible and when Brett tried to dance like an elf, we laughed our asses off for about a half hour.

Now, if you've ever done Robitussin, then you know how much of you're coordination you lose. You can't walk, talk, or even stand up once it hits hard. We knew Brett was feeling it when he went to pee in the woods. Normally, walking in a straight line, it would take a person about 30 seconds to walk to the woods. It took Brett about three minutes. Very funny. On his way back, the sprinklers turned on and he was so confused that he stopped for a minute and ran all over the place. We were laughing so hard. Soaking wet, Brett settled into his chair. His speech was all slurred and he was making no sense. It was hilarious.

But back to those mushrooms. Mike and I were having a lot of fun and were feeling so warm and fuzzy. It was great. Normal trip stuff happened for a while (colors were great, the ceiling crawled, I thought there were little people in the grass, music sounded incredible, etc.), but about four hours later, they started to wear off a bit. Brett was on a downshift and could walk and talk a little, so we were jealous. Mike went up to my room and guzzled about 9oz. of robo. I ate 8 drama. We knew it was gonna be a crazy night. Brett got all retarded again and Mike and I settled in for our killa to begin.

My cat came into the room about an hour later and shit hit the fan. Mike started begging me to get it out. I was too confused to know what to do. I was wearing only a pair of shorts, my face was unshaven, and my hair (I always squirt water on me when I trip) had two 'horns' sticking out to the side. Mike was so mad that I didn't get rid of the cat, that he deduced that I either "had no soul or was Satan himself." Great. He was talking to people who weren't there. I was talking to my mom's flowers and we had no idea what was going on. Mike suddenly decided that I was the devil and it was up to him to save me. He grabbed my hand and would not let go. He asked for a Bible. I agreed to get him one, but I had no idea how to get one. Finally, we went to my cupboard, but couldn't get it open due to two books: Hell's Angels and Magicians. This freaked Mike out. He was all tense and floored. He really thought I was the Devil. I knew I could be a prick, but I'm NOT Satan! Well anyway, we went upstairs and found the Bible, leaning on a statue of a unicorn. Holy shit! He started to freak out. He thought I was psychic because I knew what he was gonna say. I was so confused. I was seeing people who weren't there and I thought I should probably kill myself because I was the devil. After a while, I calmed down, and so did he. I went to sleep and he left me alone. (He DID put the Bible next to me.)

Last I saw, he was lying on the ground, with the flashlight on his head asking me why he had a mushroom growing out of his skull.

I slept and when I woke up, my mom asked, "Why was Mike running around our yard half naked with a flashlight in one hand and a Bible in the other at 6AM?" I didn't know what to say.

Great trip. A little freaky, but crazy. Incredible!