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Extremes of emotions

Sorry about this being so long.



Sorry about this being so long.

It's the weirdest thing, exposing yourself to opposite extremes in a short period of time. Like say, dipping your hands into a pot of hot water. Then upon removal, immediately dipping your hands into a similar pot of cold. The cold, to me at least feels twice as cold as it would if I were to simply dip my dry hands into the cold water. The coldness also seems to last longer than normal. This process is how I would explain my third trip to someone. Extreme exposures.

It was a late fall evening, turning towards the cold side of the season. My friend, (lets say hippie) had been toiling with some shroom capsules for the past couple weeks, wondering who to take them with, and when to take them. So. One day I slapped some sense into him and told him to come take them at my house with me, as my parents would be gone for the weekend (or so I thought).

If you've ever tripped at night you've probably noticed how there's kind of an intimacy to it you don't get in the daytime. I love night. More visuals, more room for imagination, plus, it's not like constantly staring into a 60 watt light bulb. It's too bright in the day.

So my friend came over. I live way out in the middle of no where, boondocks egypt, in a beautiful Aspen forest at the end of a valley. The area has beautiful views, and awesome exploration territory at night. My room is a trippers paradise. Thus, we were about to embark in a perfect trip environment. At this point I had tripped with Hippie all three of my experiences, and he is my best friend. Perfect company.

We ate the shrooms around 9pm with some Spaghetti (each an eighth). It's weird. I can feel almost any drug the instant I put it into my system. Kind of a mind thing.

I was all gitty and excited, all around happy and dancing in the living room to Phish. My friend was reading some Tao (the sure-fire way to have a good trip. I would've, but was too excited.) in my room, and was happy. unfortunately, I had miscalculated my parents arrival. About 20 minutes into the onset, my parents drove into the driveway. My friend ran out, having heard them and was all paranoid. I turned off the music and told him to calm down. We had planned to be outside most of the night anyway, and my parents aren't the kind of people who are nosy. They stay out of my room.

They came in and we said hi. Dad seemed kind of suspicious, because he saw me dancing around while driving up the road, and I was acting kinda weird (the instantaneous thing). I said I had just taken some serious drugs, and was planning on trippin hardcore, with the passion of 1000 fires. He chuckled thinking I was joking, and headed upstairs to bed. My stepmom was a bitch as usual.

We hung out in the living room for a while then cleaned our dishes. after that, we walked into my room, just as my trip officially started coming on. The walls were slowly pulsing with Hippie's rhythmic footsteps, and everything seemed loving, and tender. I embraced the soft blankets on my bed and began burrowing around in them. I can't explain, but it felt like I was getting entangled in a thick mass of love. Soon, it got to the point where I couldn't move and my head poked out of one side of the mass. Hippie stood there with this huge grin on his face, and was tapping his watch. I'd been doing this for about ten minutes. It felt like seconds.

We sat down to watch Simpsons, which we ritually did every time we tripped, although we didn't mean it. It always just happened. A spontaneous ritual. So, we're sitting there, it's been about 20 min. since we first walked into my room, and I'm thinking, "well gosh, I'm not getting enough visuals", so I decided to take my other eighth that I'd gotten from Hippie. I sat down at my computer and took out the pills. What I didn't know was that Hippie had also taken another eighth while I was playing the bed spelunker. So now we were going to both trip a quarter.

Simpsons was ending and we were both just sitting there, laughing really loud and gurgling (trying to talk) when I suddenly realized dad could probably hear us, and was starting to get pissed off. We decided it would be best if we headed out into the night, for some exploring, so Hippie grabbed his coat, and I grabbed some glowsticks. We headed out.

We walked about a mile down my road and spontaneously stopped when Hippie started to talk about an interesting theory he had just thought of, with a pebble he picked up off the road. Apparently his mission now was to spread knowledge to things most people would normally overlook. I wasn't being as thoughtful and decided to play with my glowsticks.

I tied the glowsticks to some string, and began whirling them around me in a steady circular motion. My tracers were so long it seemed like the glowsticks were creating binding hulahoops around me, which had no beginnings or ends. I began to feel like a massive planet with orbiting rings, and suddenly glowing balls of light, like stars began to fly around me. It was incredibly weird, I can't explain, but the stars where flying past my head, crashing into the protecting loops, and disintegrating in my atmosphere. Off in the distance I could see other planets, and what looked like the Ort cloud.

I stopped twirling the glowsticks and realized hippie had been throwing little pebbles at me trying to get my attention. The Ort cloud was a glowstick he had that was shining on his face. My glowsticking had startled some horses next to the road, and they had taken off galloping into the distance. I appologized, then noticed behind Hippie on the opposite side of the valley that the stars where falling out of the sky, and descending the valley walls like circular reflections from a disco ball, which I figured was the moon. I began trying to dance with Hippie, but he said I was ruining his meditation, and was wondering why I wasn't taking this time to be thoughtful.

I danced around for a while, then realized that I was letting all this information escape from my grasp. I stopped and was suddenly standing in this spinning fractle of knowledge. I could see the knowledge actually spinning through my head and off into the starry night. I was taught so many things by it, but each thought I had, was like the fractal I was watching. The thought would branch off into infinite subthoughts, and it was impossible to keep track of every single one of them, so I just tried to seep it all in, and not focus on anything. I can't explain how this felt, but it was like being cleansed by wisdom.

We got cold (something I've never felt tripping before) and headed back to the house. The next few hours are blurry. The only thing I can remember is not being able to talk, and my dad coming down, mildly annoyed by our loudness. I managed to say "sorry, we'll uhhhh, tone it down just a little bit for ya." In a really swave tone of voice.

It was about 6-6 1/2 hours into our trip and Hippie got really tired. He was basically entirely down and wanted to sleep. I was fine with that, but I was still peaking really hard, and wanted to do stuff. I got on my computer and went to some Yahoo chat room.

All I remember was getting into some conversation with this really annoying girl. We were talking and she said "oh, so you're some no-brain druggie." I know, the dumbest thing now, but at the time it was devastating.

It was as if some one had clicked a light switch in my brain, because I went instantly, from extreme euphoria to immense depression. I signed off immediately and tried to sleep. All these thoughts of panic flooded my head (like how my friend and I had taken the same dose at basically the same time, only he was down and I was still peaking).

Trying to sleep was making things worse, so I put on a Bob Marley video at a low vol. Staring at my tapestry I could hear Bob making fun of me. He was calling me things like a fag, and a reject that no one liked. I shut him off and tried to wake Hippie, but he wouldn't wake up. I thought he was dead, so I tried to give him mouth to mouth. He woke up when when I tried to pry his mouth open and told me to mellow out, then went back to bed.

I suddenly got very hungry (another thing I've never felt tripping), so I went and fixed a bowl of Rice Crispies. The crackling actually calmed me down, and when I finished the bowl, I looked around and realized I wasn't really tripping anymore. I attempted sleep, and after about a helf hour I dozed off.

I woke up the next morning confused and depressed. The feeling lingered for a couple days, which had never happened before. It was funny. During the trip when the stars were coming down, I told Hippie "I don't understand how anyone could have a bad trip." Now I know.

I guess the ending is where the whole extreme thing is supposed to relate to the story. Maybe I didn't explain it well enough. I hope I did.

Oswego
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