Dose - 32 grams of fresh Stropharia (or Psilocybe) cubensis
Trip buddies - Me, Spencer and Jake
22:30 - Meet up at Burger King at Piccadilly Circus and buy some food. My shrooms go into my bacon double cheeseburger and I eat. We then leave and go back to the bar we'd previously been in to see some other mates.
23:00 - Spence and Myself are starting to feel the effects but Jake being much bigger is not. I'm getting pretty mild visuals but know that it's about to get a lot stronger. Everyone decides to leave the bar so we decide to go to Leicester Square. We attempt to get on a moving bus, which results in bruises and Spencer nearly falling under the back!
23:15 - After a bit of driving around in the bus, we get off and walk to Leicester Square. We are now all beginning to feel the shrooms coming on strong. The air begins to look like it has texture, the lights are really starting to look quite nice and the buildings look like cardboard haunted houses from a fairground. We decide to walk around the square a few times. The first pass is done walking incredibly fast directly followed by an incredibly slow pass. None of us know why this is amusing but we are all laughing almost uncontrollably. The laughter soon stops when Jake and me notice a plain clothed policeman following us. Now paranoid we decide to leave the square as fast as possible.
23:30 - We leave the square but on the way out we bump into a couple of fairly unattractive women that had been trying to shag me earlier in the evening. I try to escape but Jake is more freaked out when he notices one of them looks like snoopy! We make our excuses and leave when I'm told my great eyes (from earlier) now look evil! We walk up to Piccadilly Circus to look at the McDonalds / Coca Cola adverts.
23:40 - We're at Piccadilly Circus and the McDonalds golden arches are bouncing from the massive screens towards us. We sit there trying to avoid them. Across the street a group of guys are playing the drums. I can't hear the traffic but only the drums and I'm quite fascinated. My attention is drawn from the music as an incredibly weird looking couple walk past. Jake obviously notices them as well since he asks, "is it just me or did they look like ducks?” We decide to go to Trafalgar Square since it's now getting cold and we need to walk.
23:50 - We are freaked out when a drunken person falls over and head butts the floor so hard that the sound ricochets off buildings. He jumps straight back up like nothing has happened and walks away in the direction he came from. I ask a passer by if it really happened, they look shocked and say "I'm not entirely sure myself actually"
00:00 - We get to Trafalgar Square and notice that it's empty except for some security guards. I ask one of the security guards if we're allowed to be there. They say no but then say "only joking" when they see me look dejected. We go and sit on a concrete bench. The security guards look a bit shocked when I jump up and exclaim "The fucking bench is swallowing me!" so we decide on a quick exit back to my house.
00:45 - We get near Waterloo and I say we should go down by the IMAX cinema as there are some lights in the wall that look cool on shrooms. While marvelling at the lights we hear a noise to our right and when we look around see a half man/half skateboard contraption pushing himself around. The guy is homeless, has no legs and instead sits on some wheels pushing himself along with his hands. This would be bizarre enough while straight but on a lot of shrooms it's a bit disturbing. Jake runs away at top speed, we follow close behind!
01:00 - We arrive at Waterloo station, which is locked up, but we need to get down to the lower level. We barely know what's going on around us and are lost. I decide it would be a great idea to ask someone how we get down to Waterloo Road. He answers in the strongest Scottish accent I've ever heard and unable to understand him I lose it in a big way and almost fall over crying with laughter. Unsurprisingly the guy doesn't know what to make of this and continues to give directions. I'm still uncontrollable and notice Jake and Spencer pretending they don't know me. I really want to escape and toy with the idea of just running away but instead I try to apologise while still laughing and walk away as quickly as I can.
01:10 - We have worked our way out of the station and we arrive back at my house. We walk in and immediately notice the curtains. They must have been designed for tripping, the colours are merging and the curtains flapping around in a quality fashion. I get a drink and the glass looks big enough to climb in!!
01:20 - Jake sits at my PC and starts to play the game "Dope Wars" he falls off the chair when Spencer announces "£4300!!! Sell your fucking acid mate!” We then decide on a mission to the shop.
01:30 - We get to the shop and realise we don't need anything. We walk back to the house and on arrival Spencer declares that he's going home. He lives about 15 miles away and judging from the mess we're in we tell him to stay with us. He say's he'll be fine and disappears at high speed before we can stop him. We later find out he tried to get on a bus but found himself in psycadelic hell when everyone he saw started shouting "MCDONALDS" at him!!!
01:45 - We play more Dope Wars but after half an hour or so decide we're getting bored so put on American Pie to watch.
03:30 - The trips peak seems to be wearing off but I'm finding myself slipping into some really bad thoughts. We have no pills to take the edge off so I now want to go to sleep but I can't. I decide I need to speak to someone who's not tripping and might actually listen so try to call my girlfriend. Unsurprisingly she doesn't answer the phone so I go back to trying to sleep.
04:00 - I tell Jake I'm never doing drugs again to which he replies, "Bollocks, you're a fucking monster and you know it".
Around 04:30 - After what seems like hours of bad depressed thoughts I finally drift off to sleep.
12:00 - I wake up and realise that I've had the funniest trip of my life. I decide that my earlier declaration that I wouldn't touch drugs again was said in the heat of the moment and decide to do more mushrooms soon