Well where to begin?
Id been living in Australia for about 1.5years when i first decided to try mushrooms - Im a very big pot user for all the right reasons, and have never ever had a bad experience, even though I would often smoke half an ounce a day to myself - it has opened my mind to a whole new way of living and treating others, Ive never touched another drug, and I decided I wanted to try something else, mushrooms being the natural progression.
I wanted to get it right, so one day when it felt right me and my best frined got some mushie powder - great time! Did it again on my birthday, again a brilliant time, this time i had more but it was fantastic and I had a great night tripping on the beach smoking joints all night!
Then came the day that changed my life forever - my bro was over visiting and we decided to go on this bus trip - Id been around 20times before, so me him and two friends (lets call them N and W) went along, and decided to do some shrooms as well as the usual getting stoned. This time they were dried out caps (goldentops) We went in a cafe, had a joint and coffee, then me and W ate our caps. I musta had about 5 big ones as well as a hash cookie and cake and a couple fatties before we boarded the bus to go on our trip (no pun intended!)
started off fine, got the giggles things started to feel a bit wierd, all the usual stuff! But then all of a sudden I didnt feel too good. I started getting some sort of huge paranoia, it was like an uncontrollable surge of adrenalin rising up from within me that just completely consumed me with fear. I looked at W and he was fine, just laughing his ass off and I told him i didnt feel so good. He told me to relax but I just couldnt, My heart was pounding twice as fast and for some reason i could NOT stop yawning! I started freaking out, thinking Id done too much or some shit, I tried to close my eyes but I couldnt sit still, I wanted to get off the bus but couldnt. I was seriously thinking I was gonna die, but I didnt wanna tell the driver and make a fool out of myself. I just tried to look at the floor but it was like it wasnt there, my feet and legs dindt belong to me and they were running away -I started getting really really freaked out, and then the bus kept stopping and the driver got out and banged around underneath it and I thought he was banging to get to me for some reason. I just did my best to compose myself but it wasnt happening, the trees were calling out to me and everyone on the bus was against me, looking at me, and the trees were telling me to get off and go to them.
Eventually we stopped for a toilet break and I was off that bus faster than Bob Marley could roll a fatty. I told my frineds I was feeling bad but they were fine which got me more worried as Id done the same amount of them - I honestly wanted to run off into the forest but some part of me was still there saying "NO, youll be fine" which luckily my friends backed up for me.
Back on the bus, and it continued, the horrible sense of fear, of losing it, thoughts racing "Am i going crazy?No its just the mushies!Then why arent my friends like that?Maybe theyve done it morethan you! Why am i talking to myself - god I AM going crazy!!!" And so this continued for what felt like forever, though it was probably an hour.
Eventually we reached our destination, a Hippy's Farm set in 40acres of rainforest - a magical place at the best of times, but now, man those tress - they all had faces and I was hugging them, they all beckoned to me, the spirits of our dead ancestors were living in the trees and wnated me to go talk to them - all the tropical fruits were asking me to eat them. It was kinda cool and I was feeling much better at being off the bus, though still I had the adrenalin and uneasy feeling. I couldnt talk and I spent the whole time convinced that everyone else was staring at me - there were statues of snakes that seemed to REALLY be crawling towards me - all in all it was the most F@*in
horrible, scary experience you could ever imagine!
"Right everyone, back to the bus!" OH shit!!! not again - but after a couple big joints to calm down on the way, i was feeling a bit better. Back on the bus I suddenly felt calm and relaxed, saw a new meaning to everything, realised how much I loved my girlfriend who was at home waiting for me - I spent the journey staring out the window - in between the trees was a giant lake, and all the trees were reflecting in it as they called to me, it was all amazing, aside from the fact there is no lake there!!! We went to a waterfall where I could see hundreds of faces in the cliffs, and all the people from the bus were bad, but everything about nature was beautiful and amazing (though this has always been true!)
Anyway, after about 6-8 hours i started to feel normal again, and all was well - I decided then that I wouldnt be doing them for a long time, and never in a public place like that.
But, alas, all wasnt well, as I found out a week later when having a joint. Suddenly it all came back, the horrible paranoia, not knowing who i was, who my girlfriend was, the heart beating, the yawning - very upsetting as I didnt know why the hell this was happening, especially after one joint!Maybe some bad hash, but when i tried again, same thing!
Its been happening ever since, all day every day, even without smoking panic attacks in bed at night, horrible nightmares, panic in public places - Ive given up weed for 2 months now and its only just begginning to go away - I dunno if Ive had a close call to actually losing the plot, or if its some sort of bizarre flshbacks, but needless to say, it scared the shit out of me, and Im now being very careful around drugs and trying to build a life that is satisfying and happy where I dont need drugs of any sort.
The moral of this story is, be careful if your doing shrooms, please dont do too much, and even if you think your experienced, never ever abuse it as nature will always win. Natural drugs are a blessing and marijuana/hemp could be the salvation of the whole world, but only in moderation (ive learnt the hard way) Please be careful, especially if your a first time tripper, and always do it in comfortable surroundings with frineds who you trust and cherish - if it hadnt been for my friends there this whole story may have been different.
Stay safe, thanks for a wicked site guys,
Peace and Love