Being

The beauty of mountains is something that never ceases to amaze me. The power and serenity residing in the rocks and trees seems to have been there for as long as time existed. You are humbled by it and feel how insignificant and yet precious you really are. It was the day of the eclipse (11th aug 99) and the weather was dreary and clouded. Here we all were, a group of psychedelic beings who came together in this majickal place to celebrate a cosmic event of profound importance; a solar eclipse and the alligning of the planets into a cross, focussing energy onto our litlle sphere. A spiritual festival hosted by spiritual beings. We all gathered together in the chill-out tent and just vibed, waiting and hoping for the weather to clear up. Someone from the organisation came and passed around some pure MDMA boms, and we all took them. It was decided that we would go down the mountain and sit by the lake to witness the eclipse, but it was still cloudy, so some people were a bit down; but still we all entered the bus and went down to the lake. About 5 min before the eclipse was supposed to begin the skies suddenly cleared and the sun shone fierce from behind the dissipating clouds. The MDMA was starting to work at that time and everybody was boosted with energy and we all started laughing and yelling out loud, filled with good vibes and love. The eclipse was starting and slowly, very slowly you could see the moon taking a little bite out of the sun. It seemed to take forever for the moon to reach the full eclipse point (95% where we were), but it felt good just sitting there, sharing the vibe and love with people who Knew, enjoying the view and breathing in the soothing pureness of nature. The lake splashed gently onto the shores, swans were gliding by gently. People meditated or just sat around in circles with smiles on their faces. Peace penetrated the whole area. Then the light started to dim, as if i had put on sunglasses. The light was majickal and everything became silent and still. The trees stopped whispering, the water calmed down, all the birds were silent and for a moment all seemed to stop and stretch into one eternal moment; slowly it ebbed away again and everything started breathing again, resuming its natural cycle. All of us remained silent for some reason and it was quite a while before anyone said anything. When it was over we returned to the festival area and prepared for the coming celebration that evening. The weather was beautifull and warm. I spent most of the day drawing and meditating in the woods, feeling at one with my surroundings. My friends arrived late in the afternoon after going through a lot of shit at the french/swiss border (they had decided to watch the eclipse in france at 100% and then drive on through to the festival, but it turned out that it was cloudy in most of france so they didnt see it). They were searched at the border and they found 3 grams of hash, 3 grams of weed 10 xtc pills and 1blotter! And all they got was a 200 swiss frank fine and having to wait 3 hours in a room!! (about 140$) talk about lucky! So naturally, despite losing all their drugs(except for some blotters they didnt find), they were in high spirits. I had brought 6 grams of hawaiian shrooms, so me and a good friend chomped them down, the others took some blotters. Everybody at the festival was now into their own little psychedelic ritual , it was like a gathering of the tribes, with every little tribe sitting around a fire or in a tent, starting their trip. The shrooms started about 15 min after i had ingested them and came on strong. I decided to leave the fire and meditate in the forest by my self. I wandered into the woods and really felt like i was intruding this serene and ancient place. I found a beautifull rock half covered in moss, that just looked like it was meant to sit on. It stood right in front of a beautifull tree, which was the same colour as the rock, and the moss seemed to connect them both into one object. and when i looked i saw that all the rocks and trees were connected in this way. It seemed like one big chaotic structure that seemed to fit just right into a comprehensible pattern. I sat on the rock in a half lotus position and meditated on this pattern, but when i did so it seemed to dissolve. Everything went away and now i felt rather then understood that pattern, It wasnt some theoritical thought i perceived anymore, but it was a deep penetrating feeling that was consuming me. My mind cleared and all the little thought-mazes and abstract complex thoughts i was having were swept away as if they were not even approaching that which they tried to capture. I had my eyes open but all is saw was One. Everything around me was one and i merged with it. I was nothing and everything. No thoughts or complexity within existance, all i felt was Being, For that eternal moment i was just Being. Nothing more and nothing less. And at that moment it wasnt beautifull or magnificent or whatever we would like to ascribe to it; it just Is. Then i realised that the music had started and it penetrated into me. It was beckoning me and slowly i re-emerged from the Moment and my thoughts started flowing again. The sounds i was hearing were incredible. The weirdest psytrance being echoed by the rocks and defracted by the trees. It was all around me. A mist was slowly coming so the sounds became denser too. It was getting dark and i started wandering back towards the festical area. I was lost for a moment because i couldnt see which way the festival was and the sounds seemed to come from all directions. But then i saw a glimmer of fluor colour between the trees and walked towards it. I came across another psychedelic being, deeply entranced within her meditation and stopped across from her. I could feel the energy vibrating of her and i projected some of mine onto her. without opening her eyes her smile broadened and i knew she felt my presence. I walked on, not wanting to disturb her moment. All the people were starting to gather and the celebration was beginning in earnest. Everybody was deep into their trips and the psychedelics were being passed around freely. I met up with my friends and i shared some of the last of my blotters with them and a couple of swiss guys. The vibe was incredible. The penetrating bass was really talking to the shrooms and the cybersounds were making my body move and my hair stand on edge. Everybody was being sucked into a magnetic field and we were all dancing ecstaticly. It felt like a great cosmic beam was being channeled and we were the recipients. Its hard to describe the psytrance vibe, but it is like being filled with positive energy and love. Everybody is projecting energy onto each other, creating a feedbackloop that intensifies the trip. Everybody was laughing and smiling and connected with each other in the trip. I saw that we ascribe everything we experience with certain aspects like good and bad and that those aspects in turn cause fear or bliss. I saw evil and fear for what they really were within the structures of human experience and i laughed out loud at it. I looked around and saw everybody laughing and howling out loud. The music seemed to flow with the moment and was stuttering and laughing too, causing all of us to laugh even deeper. The real selves opened up and shared. Then suddenly the moment passed and the music thundered on and we were all smiling and laughing.
I joined some people sitting by a fire, My mind was starting to splice up into different moments, i was existing on several places at once. I was sitting by the fire, thinking i was dancing. I was standing, thinking i stood in front of an all consuming god-like presence. I was dancing, thinking i was sitting by the fire. I was walking through the woods, thinking i was standing with my head upwards, swallowing something being poured down my throat which was the essence of being. and there i was again sitting by that fire. i opened my eyes, still looking into the fire, which was beautifully enchanting. I looked up and one by one when my eyes touched the faces of the people around me, they opened their eyes and looked into mine and we all Saw and Understood each other. Its amazing how you can connect with people you dont really know, but somehow really Know. I went back to the anti magnetic static plastic dance beam and was immediatly absorbed. We all danced like swirling derwishjes deeply entwined into each others movements as if we were influencing each others magnetic fields. I took of my glasses to clean them and suddenly one glass was pushed out of the frame and fell. I have -6 L/ -7 R so i cant see anything without my glasses. I was still moving and by the time i stopped i was already a couple of steps away from the place where the glass fell. A short burst of panick and fear hit me. I laughed out loud at the irony i perceived and put on my glasses. My field of vision was being divided into two seperate fields. One blurry and one very clear and the fields seemed to be disengaging in the middle and i could look in between them into nothingness, and it was consuming both fields of vision. I was starting to get the fear again, but someone came over and looked at me. I started to focus on his contours and he became sharp; we both started laughing and the fear was swept away. He patted me on the back and we both danced on, laughing. Later on he came over and handed me my glass. he had found it lying in the grass. I was hit with a burst of happiness and i rewarded him with my last blotter. The night seemed almost to last forever, but morning came, lighting the misty skies with magnificent colours of different hues. We revelled in the bliss of Being. The next day i talked to lot of people and we had all shared a lot of similar thoughts and experiences and hallucinations; as if we all had the same trip. Peace and good vibes.

That moment i had in the woods, seems to have changed me. I can now easily step out of some of the thoughts that used to capture me with their complexity. Just Being. So simple and so essentially Real.
Being.

damn.... didnt mean for it to get this long!! :-) thanks for reading it! -P.AC.T- BBin