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Awesome visuals + lost my mind

I'm a home grower, and the only times I've ever taken shrooms is from my own shrooms.

I'm a home grower, and the only times I've ever taken shrooms is from my own shrooms. This way I can trust them and I know approximately how much I need to take and all that. Anyway, this was about the 7th-8th time I'd tripped, and it was about a month ago. I went to my girl's house, she lives out in the country. We took about 3 grams apiece, which was pretty normal for us at that point. She ate hers as dried whole shrooms, I took mine as dried powder mixed in with water. It tasted horrible and it was hard to keep down, but it was over quickly. I hate the taste of the things so badly that I'm trying to find better ways of taking them, and that's why I took them that way.

About 15 minutes after taking them, I knew they were starting to hit (the one other nice bonus of taking them the way I did.) I starting getting giggly and taking more notice of trees and bushes and stuff. We were out in the corner of her pasture at this point, in the part of the pasture that she brings any of her cows that die. Naturally, there were cow bones and skulls lying around, and I was worried that it would bother me. I wasn't that worried though, because there was plenty of green around too. Nice green grass, tall trees, thick green bushes, all that good stuff. It was about an hour from sunset. Once I was sure that things were about to kick in for good, I sat myself down and we talked for a bit.

Since the sun was low, it was shining its light almost parallel to the ground, and it made for a very pretty effect on the trees and cast nice pretty shadows on the ground, with orange light in between the shadows. It was pretty even if I hadn't been tripping. Once the trip really kicked in, though, the visuals came right after. The best visuals I have ever experienced in my life. Since we were in the corner of her pasture, the corner of her fence was in front of us. When I stopped looking around and focused in the general direction of that fence, the fence disappeared. No more fence. Instead of the fence, I saw a moving, multicolored wall that went as high as I could see. It was brightly colored, tons of moving shapes ranging from bright green to orange to yellow to pink and purple. Since that particular hallucination "originated" from the fence, the wall too had a corner, just like the fence.

The ground was a whole different story. Since it was mostly a mix of shadows and orange light mixed in with the green grass and brown dirt, what I saw was a big moving mass of those colors. I could no longer make out separate shadows and areas of light or grass, all I could see was a big shimmering field of beautiful colors. Her dog, a beagle, was laying near the corner of the "wall," and he was laying there panting, like any normal dog does in the summertime. Thing is, though, is that he appeared to be *sliding* across the ground towards the right. That's right, looked like he was just sitting there, sliding off like he was on a slippery surface or he was being carried by an army of invisible ants, panting all the while. It was just awesome to see him doing that, with all the other stuff going on at the same time, and knowing that none of it was true. The mushroom gave all that to me, and *I* grew that mushroom. How awesome is that?

Then, I turned to my girl and explained to her what all I had just seen. While I was talking to her, my vision was normal, nothing crazy was going on. When I looked back and stopped my vision again, it all came back again. I could make my hallucinations come and go at will. It was like being able to step in and out of another world whenever the hell I felt like it. What an amazing feeling. After this, I decided to check out the trees and see what they were up to. The leaves all seemed to be opening and closing, like they had a mind of their own and were putting on a show or something. Each tree or bush that I looked at was putting on a different dance. I would look at one tree for a minute or so, then check out another one. By the time I looked at the 10th or so tree, my head was turned all the way around to my right and my mouth was hanging wide open. I felt like a little kid who had been turned loose onto the set of Alice in Wonderland or something, I was just so astonished by the beautiful things I was seeing, all completely new to me.

When I closed my eyes, it was a whole different story. Multiple three-dimensional images came into view, all different colors. I don't think the shapes were recognizable, but they all had distinct shapes that I could draw if I were any kind of an artist. The shapes were repeated. There were, say, 20 of these shapes at a time, and they all rotated around in a fixed patter, moving inwards and outwards, and around and around. It wasn't a dizzying feeling, it was like looking through a kaleidoscope, but instead of random flakes of colors, they were all detailed 3 dimensional shapes. Awesome stuff.

About the time it got dark, we decided we'd better head back to the house to ensure that we got there safely without getting lost. This is where the "mind-losing" part came in. When we first started walking to the house, I was still pretty coherent. I knew where I was and how I'd gotten there, and all the events in between. No problems. I was still feeling the shrooms plenty, but I was coherent nonetheless. This is the last time I was to be coherent for the next 2 hours or so. I don't remember the last half of the walk. I do remember walking into the house though, and looking at my girl and not recognizing her. I don't know if I could have said her name, or my name at that time if someone had asked me.

She said we needed to take a shower, so we went to the bathroom. I attempted to get in the shower with my clothes on, but she said that wasn't a good idea and helped me take them off. Once in the shower, I started turning the water knobs, which result in her chewing me out and telling me not to mess with the water. I didn't know why I was turning the knobs or what they were supposed to do, I just knew that that was something I normally did when I found myself in a showering situation.

Apparently, I got tired of being in the shower and got out, no towel or anything, and I hadn't even started to shampoo or soap up. So, my girl wrapped a towel around me and herself and we laid down on the floor. At this time, I didn't know that I had lost my mind. I was being all laughy and joking and stuff, and I kept asking her "So what are we doing again?" and laughing my ass off each time I asked it. She laughed too because she knew I was confused, but she didn't know how badly confused I was.

Each time I asked her what we were supposed to be doing, she would remind me that we had taken mushrooms, that they were supposed to fuck with your head, and that we were supposed to take a shower because we had been laying in the dirt in the cow pasture. I always agreed with her, saying "oh yeah" even though I didn't really know what she was talking about. I remember looking at her boobs while we were laying there and somehow knowing that that was a good thing, seeing a girl's naked boobs, although it didn't really mean anything to me at that point. I just knew that it was somehow supposed to be a good thing that I could see boobs.

It was at this point that I started to get sorta worried that maybe something was wrong. I knew that things weren't making as much sense as they should, and my memory of things that had happened in the past few minutes was shortening. I didn't even remember taking a shower at this point, and it had happened only two or three minutes before. I stopped laughing quite as much when I realized this. I started to think really hard, trying to piece things together and figure out how I got on that floor with this naked girl who seemed somewhat familiar somehow.

She started to notice this as well, that I was not just messed up on shrooms, that something more had happened to me. She made me hold her hand as she walked me into the living room where we sat down. I repeated asked her what we were supposed to be doing, to which she repeatedly replied that it was the weekend and that we didn't have anything to do. This unsettled me. I wanted something to do, I wanted her to tell me what to do next because I didn't know what to do next. I knew that I was hungry, knew that I wanted a beer, and knew that I badly wanted a cigarette, but didn't know what to do about any of them. I saw a pack of smokes in front of me, but I didn't know if it was okay to grab one and smoke it. I thought it might somehow be wrong to do that, so I didn't touch them.

We sat on that couch for around an hour and a half, with me repeatedly asking her what was going on, what we were doing, what we were supposed to do and so on, with her getting more and more disappointed in my questions and my confusion. I noticed that she was disappointed, and it bothered me, but I didn't know what to do about it. Every few minutes, I would get up and walk a few laps around the couch like I was about to get shit together again, but I never made any progress and always sat back down and asked her questions again. Sometimes, I would think "fuck it, I'm gonna get up and grab me a beer and something to eat" and I would start to get up, but I'd sit right back down again because I wasn't really sure if that was what I should be doing or not. I knew that I was pissing my girl off, but I couldn't help it, I was so damn confused that I didn't have a clue what was going on or what to do.

Eventually, I just faked it. I pretended that I had gotten better and told her I was ready for a shower, and hoped that she would believe me. I just wanted a mission, a purpose, something to make me feel normal again, and I knew if I could convince her that I was okay then she would lead me to the bathroom and take a shower, even if I wasn't really sure what the purpose of taking a shower was. It was something to do, and I knew that that was more right than sitting on the couch for an hour and a half. After I told her I was okay, she looked me in the eye and said "Are you sure? You sure you're okay now? You've been acting real weird for a while." I said yep I'm fine now, and we walked to the bathroom and started taking a shower. For about ten minutes I sorta watched what she did and made sure I did the same thing, even though I wasn't yet fully aware.

During the shower and the hour or so afterwards, I eventually regained consciousness and realized what had happened. By the end of the night I was completely normal again, and I have since analyzed that hour and a half period of my life several times. Although I was nervous and confused the entire time, I think it's pretty awesome that that happened to me. I now know what it feels like to be a crazy person. Normal things cease to make sense. The most basic thoughts become convoluted to the point that you're just hoping someone will give you orders so you know you'll be doing something right. You know something is wrong, but not *what* is wrong or what to do about it. You know that your actions disappoint other people, but you're not sure why or what to do about it. You're hungry, but you don't know how to start the process of getting something out of the fridge and eating it. Your memory is about one minute long. People tell you things point plank in plain english, you pretend to understand, and yet you don't. Plain simple things make absolutely no sense.

Wow, what an experience. It was like two trips rolled into one. The massively visual beautiful halleucination experience and the losing-my-damn-mind experience, and here I am, alive and well to tell about both of them. I hope someone enjoys reading this, because both parts were pretty damn enjoyable for me. The visual part was enjoyable just by itself and to reflect on, and the losing-my-mind part is enjoyable to look back upon as being in a completely different state of mind than normal. Anyway, post your thoughts on my trip if you want.

P.S. - I'm not what you'd call a 'spiritual' kind of guy who takes shrooms to meet god or find myself or anything like that. I do all my 'real' thinking while I'm completely conscious. I take shrooms to have a good time and see stuff, and while they are very fun for me and I'd hate to have to give them up, that's all they are to me. My usual trip involves laughing my ass off, seeing stuff, and bonding with my close friends, that's it. I'm saying this so that people will know a little bit about the source of this story. People often form their opinions on something based on who produced it, so that's why I gave some basic info about me.

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