Midlife Amanita Trip

Unlike most of you, most likely, I am in middle age and
am in a state of mind to re-explore the entheogens of
my youth. Then as now, I seek the power of personal
insight and growth. The heaviest drug of my past was
Psilocybe cubensis, but now I live in England. But I’ve
done my research, and when the Amanita showed its
head this Fall, I picked hundreds. I lost some to
improper drying , but developed a system to cure them
crispy at a very low heat. Experimental munching of
small tasty Amanita chips did nothing. Smoking them
with a little pot gave me a more intense pot-like high.
The trick is heat, unless the shrooms are subjected to
high temperatures, the active ingredient is not “turned
on”. My low-heat dryer puts out a temperature too low
for conversion to occur. I should meantion that I
habitually take 2 300mg tablets of St Johns Wort each
day this time of year to combat the blues, and this may
have affected my trip. Today at 11.30 am I boiled three
caps, which would have been about 5” diameter fresh,
for about 3 or 4 minutes. I drank the tea, which was a
disgusting orange color, but it did not taste bad. I
managed to choke down two of the shrooms, which
was like eating slugs. I waited. One hour. Some
nausea. An hour and a half. Nausea subsiding “they’re
duds”, I think. I walked up to the woods to smoke some
pot and think about things. One toke and I was flying. I
knew the weed was just not that good, so it had to be
the shrooms. Another toke, and that’s enough. I
wondered around the woods. I was a bit disappointed
that I was just getting a good pot head. I figured I might
as well enjoy it, though, and struck out on one of the
public footpaths that crisscross the English
countryside. It was sunny, windy and chilly.
I kept having to pick the dog up and heave her over the
stiles, complaining to her that she was too heavy. I
noticed I was becoming disoriented, talking aloud to
myself, and stumbling. I had to really focus to get the
dog over the fences. We reached a road, but there was
no marked path on the other side, and I was feeling I
was getting a mushroom rush! So back we turned. “Up
and over, Dog”, I said impetuously as we came to one
of the stiles. I felt I could project my thought directly into
the beastie’s brain. She climbed the fence! This made
my day, and she went on to climb every single one
herself on the way back. I was feeling more and more
disoriented and removed from the scene though,
almost as though drunk. Then I noticed I had the same
sensation I have sometimes in dreams, of moving
without getting anywhere. I seemed to be putting
everything I had into walking, but everything was
happening in perfect slow motion and I was walking as
though through thick molasses! Suddenly, I got the
most amazing rush of my life; I roared up to an entirely
new plane of existence. It seemed my whole mind was
awake and aware, everything was incredibly intense
and “there”, which was the opposite of the earlier
feeling. This was different to the level four tripping I’ve
done on Psilocybe, but it is impossible to explain the
quality of it. At one point I could see myself talking to
myself. I felt overpowered and utterly changed, and I felt
that I had to hold on to my mind to avoid panic. I think
the shroom was letting me know it was serious and I
took heed. This lasted an indeterminate amount of
time, probably the time it takes to walk 100 yards, and
was followed by intense euphoria, calm and
confidence, and the slowmo feeling. This expanse
slowly became a collapse and I focused on one
thought and was oblivious to my surroundings. This
was followed by an intense expanding again and then
the cycle repeated. Along the way, I’d go through a
phase which felt like the first time I smoked pot, pure
joy. At the midpoint between expansion and collapse I
was able to reason and take stock of things (“This is
Great!”).
I do not remember all of the walk back to the house. I
was getting thirsty. I stopped and stretched on my back
beneath a huge beech tree and studied the tracery of its
branches against the blue sky and scudding clouds.
The branches multiplied and rotated past each other.
We were run off by an inquisitive horse. I drank water
back at the house and at 1:30 pm let myself and Dog
into the small travel trailer in the yard. Very little time
had passed, yet it seemed I’d been tripping for hours. I
lay down and let the shrooms do their magic. My mind
raced through a hundred thoughts as I watched the
clouds through the open window and listened to the
birds and the wind. I had no physical or mental
discomfort whatsoever. I noticed suddenly that the
clouds were moving forward and then jumping
backwards! And time was moving very very slowly, I
thought about the nature of time and I thought, “maybe
this is what time-travel feels like”. For a moment I
instinctively grasped what time was! I decided it would
be appropriate to check my watch, as I wished to stay
on top of this weird chronology. Though I was sure I’d
been there an hour, only ten minutes had passed. And
so it went for the next hour, time slowed down to a
crawl, clouds jumped backwards in the sky, and the
shrooms roller-coasted me through ever more gentle
cycles.
I had strange, amusing thoughts such as this one
going through my head: I thought of the first bear to
hibernate. Perhaps it went to bed one winter evening,
had a dream of springtime and a newborn cub, and
then woke up in spring with the new cub. In effect, this
is time-travel. She would have excitedly told all the other
bears, who would not have believed her at first, but
perhaps remembering her absence during the long
cold winter, one by one they try it the next fall and
hibernation is born. This seemed like a clever and
original thought to me. I thought of life and death,
feeling no fear, visualizing what my spirit must be, it
must live at that conscoiusness level I felt when the trip
peaked. I saw my spirit as it was before I was born and
as it would be afer I die, an entity with its own identity. I
gained some simple insights into my life where before I
had been blind. All my thoughts were positive and many
self empowering, in fact the shroom seemed to be
teaching positive thinking. I slept off and on, profoundly.
At 3:30 I got up for more water. I was able to pass
myself off as straight to one of the occupants of the
house, despite a sensation that the world was tipping
and turning all around me.
My brother phoned, anxious about the idea of me
getting into hallucinogens again. I told him of my trip,
but did a bad job, as my concentration ebbed and
flowed uncontrollably and sometimes I spoke foolish
drivel. I could tell he was not at all open to the idea and I
was a bit disappointed in him, as we used to trip
together constantly in our youth. I was brought up
sharp, not for the first time in my life, by the realization
that you just cant go back to the golden past, everything
changes and you find loneliness. How many guys my
age want to trip, anyway? I feel I am a freak, but at least
I am a natural freak and not a corporate one! After his
call, I fell asleep listening to music and was out cold for
about half an hour. I do not know of another
hallucinogen which tucks you in when your mind tires
and allows you to rest before continuing!

It is 8:15 pm, I am still high with about the intensity of
being stoned, but different. I am ravenous, full of energy
and feel very positive. I would recommend Amanita to
anyone with the soul of an adventurer, who prepares
properly for a powerful, overhwelming, positive and
illuminating experience.