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Beging to be let out

I am writing this about 30 minutes after the actual "touchdown to earth".



I am writing this about 30 minutes after the actual "touchdown to earth". So i am still trippin as i type this experience for all of you to read.

Setting: In my bedroom alone
Dose: ?grams(about 1 3/4) 1 small shroom and two caps
Date:March 23/24 2001

It was about 11pm when i ate a whole small mushroom and two caps. It was a spur of the moment type of thing, i wasnt planning on this trip. I had these saved from a previous trip that i obtained at a desert party the week earlier. After consuming them i sat there waiting for them to work their magic. After about 15 minutes i felt my whole head begin to swell, feeling as though i was being overcame with a greater source. As the effects grew stronger i closed my eyes and let it flow through me like a wave rolling smoothly towards land. As the waves came i felt released...free as if everything seemed complete.

11:15pm Then my imagination started to take over. With my eyes closed, i began flying through some type of space, its hard to explain but there were odd patterns all around me as if i could see all 360 degrees around me. As i was flying i came to an abrubt stop, i was being looked at by some type of large insect creatures. I was on a table as a specimine being operated on and having wierd unexplained things done to me liek i was being examined. With weird "doctor" untinscles being put in front of me. At one time i even saw a spinning blade, like a saw, coming right at me. The figure of the creatures then seemed to look like giant slugs or snails. Very very weird.

As i speak my memory is taking its toll so i am writing this in a rush to get down all the details.

11:30 Bringing myself to reality from the "operating table", i was in my room again. I noticed that my open eye visuals had increased dramatically. My carpet turned into a sea of aztec like patterns, flowing everywhere. A purple web had been put over my eyes. Everywhere aztec patterns. I looked up and saw the wood of my dresser come to life, as the wood began to swirl in all sorts of directions. Almost as if it were speaking to me. I saw everything in its plain form of what it actually really was. I saw everything with new meaning, as if someone had turned up the "brightness" of "my monitor" and said 'look'. I looked around with amazement taking in all the beauty of it all. I felt a newer source coming upon me as the 'true' magic is about to begin.

11:45 I feel the need to lye down and just "let go". So i turn off the lights and lay in my bed. I close my eyes flying through that space of weird patterns. Just flying flying...where? I dont know all i know id that i was flying trying to get somehwere. Where that somewhere is, i dont know. As a lay there with my eyes closed flying but still aware of reality. I wanted to let go of that reality and leave everything behinde. But i couldnt, i wanted to so bad but something wouldnt let me. I could still feel myself in my body, yet i wanted out soo badly. I wanted to be out there away from it all. Saddened at the fact that i couldnt reach that place i opened my eyes. To my surprise, to be greeted with visions looking up at my ceiling. I saw things happening before me with my eyes open that i couldnt explain. The web that i had saw before was being over come with visions of knowledge things of which i could not ecplain. As my vision was distored, it seemed as though it was closing in on me. I saw mysticle type lights in front of me, trying to tell me something. Than out of nowhere my ceiling "collapsed" before my eyes. It was so overwheling that a forced ran through my whole body filling me closing my eyes. As the celing fell it seemed as though i flew right through it into an empty blank space. The next thing i know i was passing the stars and planets. Going going going....not knowing where i was headed. Vissions came over me in a rush one right after the other. Teaching me things and giving me knowledge. The most profound part was when i felt the need to "be let out" i could hear myself say 'let me out let me out, i want to leave'. I came to realize that our bodies are nothing more than a sheet blanketing our souls, our inner self. I felt my body getting real tense and stiff, but i also felt my inner self leaving this body. It was almost as thougn i was going though the dying process. As if i were experiencing death as it happened, but with anticipation of it happening. I wanted to "dye" to leave and just let go. But still i couldnt, even though i desperately wanted to so badly. I felt as though i wanted to cry not being able to reach that place that i wanted to go. I found my self on a cliff in the desert overlooking everything, yelling at the top of my lungs "let me out". Than everything collapsed, my ego shattered to nothing. I felt nothing except completeness as if everything were put in place where it should be. The vissions and knowledge i got were very fague as i cannot remember. The one thing that stands out though is a teardrop. You know how when you wake up after a good nights sleep feeling completely refreshed and find that your eyes are somewhat teary. Like you have a tear on the inside of your eye. Than as you wake up and open your eyes even more that tear comes out and you wipe it away, and wonder why its there if your not sad at all. Well in my vission i saw it happening in a persons mind. I saw it form mentally than take on its physical matter. I saw why that tear was formed and how it was formed. I saw its meaning and full purpose. But my memory is wounded and i cannot remember. All i remember is that i was "there" and i just "knew".

2:00 As my mind came into to contact with reality slowly. My trip turned into a dreamy peaceful like state. I remembered dreams that i had had the previouw night that i had completely never even remembered, but i remembered now fully aware of my dream. As it diminished, diminished, diminished and mind came into "touchdown" with my surroundings, i was filled with joyous happy thoughts. Smiles came to my face, feelings of warmth and welcome filled me. I just lay there with with a grin on my face...happy about everything.

Its now 3:45am as i come to the end of my writings of my trip.

-Steve G. goa420@hotmail.com

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