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im still sane???

I am so happy that I was able to wake up today and think.



I am so happy that I was able to wake up today and think. I was really afraid last night that I might not ever be the same! My boyfriend and I got a quarter ounce of shrooms to split, and we decided to make tea out of them for the first time (usually we eat them with peanut butter). We made the tea (which was surprisingly not too bad tasting) and braced ourselves. The trip started about 20 minutes after we finished our cups. I have never done this before, but for some reason I threw up... and this is gross, but afterwards I was just staring into the toilet at all the cool patterns. Once I finsally got up, I realized that I was much more fucked up than i usually am. I mean, usually I see visuals, but last night I lost all sense of reality. It was almost too intense. My boyfriend and I were in my apartment, listening to Moby and rolling around on the floor repeteing over and over "What the fuck". Time made no sense... i kept saying that it was 2, but I didnt understand what it actually meant. I couldnt figure out how to use my computer either. I wanted to talk to someone online who wasnt shrooming that would assure us that we were not going crazy, but I couldnt remember how to get on line. Finally we decided to just calm down and put Fantastia on. Wonderful idea! The movie totally soothed us. We smoked some weed and John kept putting his leg in the tray. At one point there was more weed on the bed than on the tray. My boyfriend ended up falling asleep but I stayed up staring at a candle flame listening to Air (the perfect comedown music. I realized last night that its all about living in the moment. Forget the future, or the past, what matters is right here and now. I have never ever felt so detatched from reality, yet I had it all figured out last night. The whole first part of the trip was a little too intense... boarder line bad trip, but wemanaged to stay sane. I think If I were by myself I could have done something really drastic... thank god I was with John. I dotn know why the trip was so strong... I guess it was the tea.

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