One Hell Of A Trip

I had never tried mushrooms until a few weeks ago. I had tried to find some but nobody in town had any at the time. Me and a few buddies decided we wouldn't stop until we had mushrooms. I came up with the wise idea to drive out of town and look around in a few cow fields. So we packed our supplies and drove out to this huge field about an hour out of town. We grabbed some gloves and began the search. Within 10 minutes my buddy, Adam, yelled to us to get over here. We came over and saw he had found some mushrooms growing underneath some cow shit. We cut them off at the bottom of the stem. The stem was kind of yellowish and the caps were brown. We soon after began to find tons of mushrooms. After 2 hours we had almost a full Safeway bag.

We brought them back into town and found some people to look at them because we had heard that if you ate the wrong kind of mushroom you could die. They said it looked okay to them but they also said that they had huge caps. We then decided that it was time to see if playing in cow shit for two hours would pay off. The shrooms were still very fresh. We opened the bag and took out an 1/8 of mush each. At the time we were in my buddy, Chad's Basement. His parents had left town for a few days so we decided that we should have our first trip in his house. We sat back and munched on the big fat mushrooms. The taste was nasty but I managed to get it all down after 10 minutes. We waited 10 minutes, got bored and smoked 6 fat bowls between the three of us. Little did I know that the shrooms were about to kick in.

First I was just sitting there thinking about how stoned I was and suddenly I felt like throwing up. Chad and Adam felt pretty gross as well. I sat through ten minutes of feeling like vomiting when suddenly I felt fine again. We thought we probably felt gross because we were really hungry. We decided to pool our money and order a pizza.
They told me to make the call so I stumbled over and grabbed the phone book in a stoner daze. I sat back down and was about to ask them what they wanted when I heard a very loud giggle. I looked at my friends who just sat there starring at the T.V. Then I heard the giggly even louder. I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on.
" Where do you want the pizza from?", I asked them.
" Pizza Hut", they both responded. Suddenly Adam let out a scream that scared the shit out of me so bad It felt like my legs had fallen off. I quickly reached down and found that both were attached. Then I looked at Adam who was breathing heavily and sweating.
" What the hell is your problem?!", me and Chad asked him. He told us in a small voice that a purple arm emerged from the T.V. and grabbed his leg. We started laughing so hard that I fell onto the floor with laughter. When I opened my eyes I looked up at the roof and saw a huge turtly staring at me. I looked into it's eyes and it told me to fuck off. I freaked out and jumped back onto the couch.

We decid that we should just turn the T.V. off and relax. After 10 minutes of watching the walls melting I decided it was time to order pizza. I called the number and mumbled gibberish into the reciever until the person finally had my delivery. The whole time we were waiting for the pizza we played Tony Hawk Pro Skater and I tripped so bad a few times I couldve sworn that little purple monstrs were chewing my legs off. I cant really remember what happened after the pizza came because then we got drunk. All I do know is that the next day I woke up next to Chads swimming pool, a 40 in one hand, a handful of mushrooms in the other and wearing no socks or shirt.
Those were some crazy mushrooms!!!