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Gone to Grandmas


OK... I am going to try to recall this. It all took place about 4 months ago. Everytime I go to my grandmas, who lives out in the middle of no where, we (me & cousin) look for shrooms. This is my second time trippin so know what im in for. Ive had one other level 3 trip at school. So we embark upon our journey in search of shrooms.

Luckily we find somewhere near about 2/5 of an oz. the first day. Since this is only my second time to dose we have to test them out the night before. Basically we split up one shroom just to show my cousin that it wouldnt kill him, knowing it would kill us in about a week if im wrong. He is happy.

The next morning we embark on another search in a different pasture. By this time I announce to my cousin that I think we have somewhere near and ounce of cubensis and the other brown conical cap shrooms that are weaker that grow in cow shit. We take our shrooms and go wash them.

We have decided to dose in an old shed that has power out behind my grandmothers house. I didnt yet know the orange juice trick. We tried to down the shrooms with hunny buns. Yeah right now your thinking what a moron, but you know what, your right. You know how shrooms get stuck in the back of your throat? Well so do hunny buns. We give up on the hunny buns after we both about vomit. We just take em down whole with milk and pepsi. About 30 mins pass and I am begining to go into a level 1 stage.

I get a little paranoid from all the insects and the cob webs in the room so we decide to go inside and stay the night in my grandmas house.

We get inside and are trying to watch Dumb & Dumber, kinda fits our situation dontcha think, when I begin to think, Damn this movie dont make no sense. I wonder what my cousin is feeling. I look over and see the blank expressionless somewhat distorted face. I said Derek come with me.

We go into my grandmothers bedroom, my grandma, grandpa, great-aunt, and great-grandma are in the kitchen playing what seems to be dominoes judging by the sound.

So we go in any my cousin is cheesing like hell. I look to the curtains which i have discovered are bleeding. I decide that i am now paranoid and i tell my cousin to turn off the radio cause it is scaring me. We exit to the bathroom, i feel it is safer because it is smaller and further away from the kitchen.

I look over to my cousin who is looking at the mirror mubling some shit about the bear show. I said what the hell are you talking about and he explained we could start a show called the bear show and we could be bears. Then he looks to the bathtub and explains how great it would be if you combined a toilet with a bathtub, i understand the concept.

He then explains that he has shit his pants. I tell him you are gonna think that, just check you didnt. He checks, nothing, he says well i still gotta shit. He climbs on the throne. He explains he must remove all his clothes. I said whatever and he does so.

I guess he just forgot what he was doing all together cause all he did was just sit there and i wander to the cabnits in front of the toilet and look inside. This is where my grandma keeps her towels. I look and in the very back i see a shower. I was like what the fuck. I now know what that it was previously a shower turned into cabnets, but at the time i am considering that it is a secret room in the house that my grandma doesnt want anyone to see.

About this time my grandma comes barging into the bathroom. My cousin naked on the toilet laughing me finding the situation humourous, and my grandma with no fucking clue what is going on. I am now half bent over laughing explaining to my grandma that she is just sitting there while Derek is trying to take a shit she laughs at out laughter and just leaves. I am still stuck hunched over laughing.

My cousin gets up and we decide to leave the bathroom. I remind my cousin to put his clothes back on. It takes us somewhere near 20 mins to get phyked up enough to go out side the bathroom, and then 10 mins to get up to going to the living room.

We get to the living room and try to continue watching the movie which is still on despite my account of time. My cousin says we should get something to eat, and i am paranoid out of my mind at this point and i say why dont we just go outside. He says ok, we go outside and i notice the trees are swaying and i think that i am pissing my pants because the wind is pushing so hard on my bladder. I check my pants, nothing. My cousin sees me doing this and decides he has pissed his pants, checks, nothing. We decide to walk around the yard.

It is somewhere near 11 oclock at night in a rural area and i only have on jeans. I look to my cousin who was wearing pants and a shirt, now only wearing the shirt. His pants and boxers lie about 10 foot away from where we were now standing, where he had checked to see if he had pissed his pants. I convince him that he must put his pants back on and he does so. We run about in the yard for about 10 mins. We go back inside.

We sit on the sofa in the living room. My cousin again says he is hungry. I tell him not to go get something to eat but he persist, I finally yell where everyone can hear, Fine, damn it. Get something to eat! He says ok and then goes and gets and entire box of ice cream sandwiches. We each eat about 2 and lay on the floor and laugh.

My grandma enters the room and ask whats wrong only to receive mumbled speach and giggles. She says something about ice cream and then she leaves with my grandpa to go to bed. My great-grandma and great-aunt go to bed in their rooms also.

We go into the kitchen and light up a cigarette. I watch the intracate patterns of smoke resembling family members dance in the air for about 30 mins. Forgetting to smoke the cigarette. I notice that my cousin is not here, walk outside the back door to see him lying on the ground laughing and talking about the cows saying his name...

I get him up and bring him inside. We sit at the table and smoke a cigarette together. This time i remeber to take drags.

I dont remember much after this... What I do remember is looking at photographs and watching racoon faces take shape, having several encounters with the cheshire cat, talking about aliens, and pissing in the toilet. The next morning it all comes together.

I wake up derek is not wearing clothes and he is lying under the table. I see his clothes in the pantry. I look at the remains of a box of ice cream sandwiches and the foot trail desending from the box to the kitchen. I notice cigarette burns all in the table cloth and ashes in a half drank glass of colk looking like some of the ashes were consumed.

I take effort to clean up the mess leaving my cousin to deal with last, luckily my grandma is a late sleeper. I wake up my cousin and he says, where am I? I say under the table he gets up and i point out his clothes. He says i remember taking them off, he said he thought he was a native american in search of food and that the animals could smell his clothing so he had to remove it to hunt.

I walk by a trash can with the fragrant smell of piss.

We have most of the mess up including the trash when my grandma gets up.

She said yall sure were acting weird last night, she said and you where having bad dreams, you came in my room at about 2 in the morning talking about how you had just been abducted by aliens and why the president needed to inform us all about the other dimensions or something. I finally got you to lay down.

Later that afternoon i climbed in my grandmothers van for her to take me home. I noticed a latter connecting to the roof and a pair of boxers lying on the ground, neither had been there the previous day. I wonder...

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