WARNING: This is quite a long report! It'll probably take at least 15 minutes to read, so only start it if you've got that much time on your hands. It's actually a short narrative I wrote about a trip I had, and posted it on the messageboard of a website that myself and a bunch of my friends share. Now that I found out about this site, I've copied and pasted it here. Many of the lessons I learned here will seem redundant to most of you who read this, because at the time I was learning these things first-hand.
And if you're on this website reading this, you likely know many things about good philosophies of life and psychedellic culture. Anyhoo, here's the story:
It started out with Elisha, my buddy/former roommate Rob, Elisha's friend from work Kina, and myself, waking up at Kina' house after a rough night of drinking. We got up at about 9:30am, and went over to Rob's house to brew a magical elixir (mushroom tea). After packing everything we needed, we drove out to a part of Gatineau Park (in Quebec), to the start of a hike called "Luskville Falls". In the parked
car, we then proceeded to drink the magical elixir. Let me tell ya, it sure beats the hell out of chewing the nasty dried mushrooms whole. No unpleasent stomach churning this way, either, and NO loss of potency. This was Kina's first time doing mushrooms. She didn't have a clue what was gonna happen that day. Rob and I, however, looked at each other after drinking down the elixir, and I said "Oh shit, what have we done? There's no going back now!" Haveing
tripped several times before, I knew exactly what I was in for, as did Rob and Elisha. Kina seemed a little intimidated, as she had no idea what she was in for.
The four of us then got out of the car, and walked to the base of a hike, where there was a gorgeous waterfall that was in the process of returning from ice to water once again. We sat there, and only 10 minutes after we had ingested the elixir, reality began to fade away. The lichen-covered rocks around us began to ripple and wave. The rock face over which the waterfall flowed became a bright glowing purple. And then we started staring down at the snow. The snow began to flash as if illuminated from underneath. A fluorescent glow of green, then red, then purple, then yellow; all the colours of the rainbow, began to gently flow from underneath the snow. The snow
cover moved up and down and around, like a live, pulsating white carpet. Then kalidescope patterns, infinitely intricate, began to appear, rotating and changing in colour and shape. That was when Kina started to see the little Skull people, all around her. I started hearing eerie vibrating sounds, rising up and falling back down, at
regular intervals. The lichen on the rocks was crawling around on it. It was time to move on and get walking, as we were all beginning to really trip out.
Kina became increasingly afraid of the little Skull people. Rob was jumping around screaming like a monkey. ELisha was trying to keep us orderly, but had little success. I began to think deep thoughts that I am only able to comprehend when I am on mushrooms... SCARY thoughts. My mind raced around in a frenzy of fear and parinoia. Had I gone permanently mad? I began to ponder the existence of the
universe, but under a frightening new angle. It suddenly seemed that there was so much more than what my eyes could see. I started thinking about the concept of my existence. THe things that surround the fact that "I think, therefore I am". Was there more to my existence than my body? It felt as if my body was merely a window through which I can see the universe we live in, but that my mind could now
look away from the window, and see other things. I began to think about the profoundness of mathematics. Suddenly I seemed to have a better understanding of what I had learned last year in Linear Algebra and Vector Calculus, dealing with coordinate systems, space, and surfaces. Then I started to think about the concept of time, and then the fear came. I can't evenremember what I thought about time, and what it was that scared me. But I began to fall into a downward spiral. I began to look within myself and see the demons that have been leading me towards depression and insanity in the last few months. This journey into my
inner self scared the shit out of me. THere were ugly things that were there. The demons were after me, and they were kicking my ass. I became so full of fear that I had to sit down. I couldn't keep walking. I needed Elisha to hold me, and kept telling her to protect me and lead me. I was beaten down to a weakling by the demons inside of me. I
was freaking out like I've never freaked out before. I felt so helpless against my own fears. I thought I was going to lose the battle, and fall helplessly into eternal insanity. I cowered, and could no longer stand to continue facing my demons. I felt I could no longer to continue to ascend the mountain path which we were climbing. I began to beg and
plead to go back and sit in the car, where I could feel secure and protected from myslef, and away from the perils of mother nature. The wind began to blow harder and colder. The snow on the path was slick; actually made up of billions of tiny little ice spheres, not snow crystals. The others became worried, seeing me freak out to the point
of cowering and begging to go back. Kina was still afraid that the little skull people were coming to get her. Rob became more and more reckless, running around on slippery jagged rocks. He began to freak out too, and started to agree with Kina and I, that we must turn back. The hike wasn't really that challenging, but the journey taking place in our heads was full of adversity. There was always one of us, however, at one point, who wanted to press on. Everyone had their turn leading. It became clear to me that turning back wasn't an option, but how much of this could I take? I was losing the battle against my demons. Then Rob fell and one of the beers in his backback broke. He wasn't hurt at all, but we were quite concerned that in his wrecklessness, he was going to hurt himself. We opened up the bag to
see how bad the bottle had broken. The bottom of the bag was soaked in beer, and there were glass fragments everywhere. Kina then took charge, zipped up the bag, and simply said "I'm not ready to deal with this right now". She was right, but we had to make sure Rob was more
careful and wouldn't cut himself on the glass. We would wrap up the glass fragments in a spare sock and put it in a plastic bag later, when we were in a condition to do so. For the time being, the best thing to do was to press on. But I was still freaking out, and was in a very fragile
state. I was almost paralyzed with my fears. Kina and Elisha weren't doing much better. As we continued up the mountain (well, not much of a mountain compared with the rockies), Kina kept stopping, being to freaked out by the little skull people to go on. Elisha and I eventually got her to go on. But then we realized that Rob was gone; he
didn't notice we'd stopped. He was nowhere in site. We shouted and shouted, and heard no response. I was confronted with an image of his body lying at the bottom of a cliff. Shortly before then, we'd heard a woman's scream, but it was followed by joyous hooting.
We thought he was dead, but then we heard a monkey scream, and all were relieved that it was him. I was so shaken by my thoughts, my realizations, my fears and my worries. I could not lead. I could barely follow. But then, somehow, I realized that I was out of choices. I couldn't go back down to the car, because the others wouldn't let me.
I had no choice but to attack the demons. Suddenly I had an
epiphany. I gathered what little mental strenght I had left, and began vigorously hiking onwards. I began to realize that if I don't fight back against the demons, I'll breakdown and be lost forever. I had to push the fears out of my head, and find inner peace. I realized that there's
no point in worrying or fearing anything that I don't have control over. Negative emotions are wasteful, and positivity was the only way out. I began to smile, and rant, and stepped away from the dark side. I realized that the whole time, I was no different than Luke, when he
had a bad trip in the Cave on Degobah and saw a vision of himself within Darth Vader. The profound lesson I learned was that everything can be broken down into two choices; positive or negative; good or evil; right or wrong. There IS a right choice. + is ALWAYS the right choice. I'd found the answers I'd been looking for. I felt I had the strenght to do and achieve anything. I am no longer gonna let
myself travel in the negative direction again. I was on a path to insanity in the last few months, and only by confronting my inner demons of fear, did I change directions and go with the positive flow. And mushrooms allowed me to take that journey into myslef, see what's wrong, tremble before it, but find the strength to destroy it, take
charge, and realign myslef in the postive direction. Mushrooms SAVED my from the path to insanity. How fucked up is that? How does that work? Because it forced me to face myself. My strengthening positivity helped pull the others out of the freakout, and we all learned to control our fears, and find strength in happiness. The pursuit of happiness is EVERYTHING. To do otherwise is to swim
against the current. One has to stop caring what others think of you, and follow true happiness. If it feels good, do it, such that it doesn't fuck with anyone else's shit.
The rest of the trip was all smiles and sunshine. The demons were dead. The voices that have been in my head for the last few months went quiet. Rob was no longer wreckless. Elisha was no longer worried about our mental states of being. I WASN'T gonna go mad. Kina learned to ignore the little skull people. We'd all weathered the
storm, and were now up in a cloud. The green forest around us went silent. There was NO wind at all. The snow fell gently in the cloud that blanketed us up at the moutain top. We sat down and all smiled. We were all happy, and we'd all learned not to let our fears control us. We were now in control. If something tried to upset us, we wouldn't let it.
We'd push it out of our heads, and focus on the positive, filtering out all the negative. It was a positive and profound life-changing experience for us all. We had found what we came in search of; happiness and peace. After sitting down, discussing what we had learned, smokin' a spliff, and drinkin' beers, we then felt ready to deal
with the broken bottle. Carefully, we wrapped up the shards of glass, so that it wouldn't cut Rob on the way back down if he was to slip and fall. We all just laughed and smiled for the rest of the day. At about 4:30, we decided to start coming back down. As we passed by the several places we had passed, we remembered what thoughts we had, what demons we had encoutered, what we were afraid of at the time.
We were now able to control all of those fears, and let happiness prevail. Several spots on the trail back down were steep and covered in snow. We slid down on our butts like it was a water slide. It was so much fun it was unbelievable. We were all kids again. We were all
cleansed of our troubles, and could have all the fun and happiness in the world. Eventually, we reached the waterfall, and the beginning of the trail, where the journey had begun. We then drove back to Kina's place to chill out, drink beers, smoke joints, eat pizza, and reflect on
our journey and what we had learned. We all slept VERY soundly that saturday night.
I am a changed person. I'm no longer gonna let negative emotions of any kind control me. I'm now in control of all my fears, and realize that there's no point in worrying about something until it's time to take action. Positivity is EVERYTHING. Had I pussied out and returned to the car when I didn't want to face my inner fears, I would
still be on the downward spiral to madness. If I had not gone on this journey, I'd still be negative. I'm going to make a point of being happy and up for the rest of my life. Mushrooms helped me realize this, and take this mystical journey of enlightenment. Be happy! Be up! Help,
never harm others! Be strong, be a leader! Control and overcome your fears; don't let them control YOU. Respect all living things, and all people and their beliefs. If you have fears to encouter, don't back down. There's only one way out; you gotta stand up and fight the demons. I'd like to apollogize to all I've upset with my negativity in
Mushrooms are not for everyone. They will make you see and think things that my frighten you. If you are not a positive, up person, or are having a bad week or a bad month, DO NOT TAKE MUSHROOMS. You must have confidence, and have strong control over your fears. You gotta be happy. You gotta be out to have fun. If you're freaking out, don't run from your demons. You gotta face 'em and let them
know that you're not afraid. Mushrooms can expose and amplify your deepest fears and worries. But if you can confront them, they'll kick you hard, and it'll hurt, and you'll think you're done for, but when you find the strength to stand up, you'll be afraid of nothing. Life is too
short to be negative. Be postive.