This trip involved an ingestion of 8 grams of Psilocybe cubensis that i had taken at my cabin, it was a perfect day with no breeze and unusually warm for november.
This trip involved an ingestion of 8 grams of Psilocybe cubensis that i had taken at my cabin, it was a perfect day with no breeze and unusually warm for november. I took a short walk around the woods to ease the growing anxiety that i seem to get at the beggining of every trip, then i took a large sleeping bag and big fluffy pillow and set up at the base of a large old oak tree, i pulled out my music and laid out fruit juice and water within arms reach. As the trip became stronger i felt compelled to lay back and try to relax. I became a little nervous without anyone with me on this voyage but i really wanted to experience a solo trip the way an ancient native would have done so, i wanted to escape people throwing around glowsticks and playing techno or heavy loud music, i always felt like we were disrespecting the mushroom like that, using it as a recreational toy as opposed to a learning experience in a sacred sense. The only technology i brought was a portable cd player with a freshly burned disc full of vangelis, woodwind solos and classical music, with some mild electronic ambient. Laying back i mounted the headphones but decided to wait to press play until the trip started to get intense, in the meantime i stared up at the bright blue sky and the pale white poplar branches that framed it, the almost black oak tree looked a little ominous towering over me but i was not intimidated. 45 minutes or so into the trip things started to become strange, the white branches were starting to flash and the sky was changing from blue to purple and back again, i began to shiver a little and my jaw was starting to clamp up, i was starting to become a little panicked as the mushroom was taking a stronger and stronger hold on my mind and body, what the hell have i done to myself i kept saying in my mind, i kept trying to reasure myself it was going to be o.k, ive tripped before on the same mushrooms and came out the other end fine. Finally i just closed my eyes and took short steady breaths of cool air, my mind was really racing now and it seemed that i could not find a single appealing thought, then i just cleared my conscience babble and just merely exsisted as a tuning device. The first visuals were black and white, somewhat fuzzy and tuning in and out, it looked like i was being taken through some kind of flashing twisted tunnel, i was going deeper and deeper down this tunnel and the further i went the more vivid it became, bright reds and oranges were pianting the tunnel as i accelerated, i was starting to loose control of my rational mind and tried desperately grasping at any familiar thought but failed at every attempt. Now i started to panic for it seemed that the breathing pattern i am so used to was starting to numb and lose touch with my mind, i thought maybe my involintary bodily functions were being ignored by my messed up brain and just cease to function, at this point the tunnel became dark and just frayed apart leaving my mind falling through a dark web of evil tenticles that were swirling all around me, i thought this is insanity, dark evil insanity that i will rot in forever, i was so terrified that i began to cry like a child, i said out loud i am so sorry, im so sorry for coming here, i dont want to be here, im scared, please help me. Then i did something i have never done before, i said i love you in a teary wail, i said it over and over agin, at some point here i must have accidentally hit play on my cd player and bach came on, i thought it was music of pure love coming from some golden source, then something happened i will never forget, i was instantly shot out of the blackness and into a bright blue and red light with spirals and patterns all around, it was so beautifull i began to cry harder than i ever cried before, i began to laugh and felt a wave of high electrify every part of my body, it was a oneness i have never experienced before, a belonging so powerfull it felt like being in utero, in the womb of mother universe, simply awsome! At this point the trip took a turn for the ultimate learning experience, i was guided to many gates that i would approach and enter, one gate was very thick with moving and swirling living intestine like creatures that were more like thought than beings, as i passed through i was confronted with a bright blue outward pulsating geometric field, like a guardian of electricity, i passed through this to find a small glowing star greeting me and taking some of the knowledge ive gained in life, this was brief and soon i backed out through the gates and was transported to another area, this time the gates were massive, almost infinite, as i passed through i began to feel like i do when i am dry heaving from illness, a feeling like i cannot breathe and i am going to die, just then i am engulfed by light and my mind body and ego are completely dissolved and i just melt into nothing and everything, after this i cannot remember what was happening but the feeling was undeniable, i was dead and it was the most beautifull thing imaginable. Soon i became aware again and was accelerating backward through all i had seen, faster and faster until i could see light, it was light from my eyes and i was deposited back into my physical body from below like coming out of the earth and into myself, then i shot straight up and opened my eyes, the sky was flashing and colours were distorted but i was alive, i was reborn and began to cry, all my evils were absorbed into the universe and i was purified. This event changed my life for good, i can now defeat my fears just by simply thinking positve. I am not sure what happend on this trip, after the heavy part i listened to music and spent the rest of the trip talking to trees and birds right till sunset, feeling recharged and ready for the rest of my life. I am so excited i have the mushroom as my friend, it taught me so much, it sounds a little bizzare now but i cant wait to die, but not before i fullfill my highest goals in life, being creative as possible and absorbing as much knowledge as i can learn, and teach those who are willing to listen, eventually dissolving back into the universe that created me, simply mind blowing!