What not to do!

We did the shrooms around midnight and in a bathroom in a little bar. I'll call us Yolanda, Ivana, and Velona.
We started to feel them about half an hour later and were overcome with laughter to the point where tears where running down my cheeks and I couldn't stop. Here's where we made mistake number one: Nobody knew we were on them (we were out with other people) and we had to hide it from them! This is impossible. I went into the bathroom because I couldn't get a hold of myself and knew that if I stayed out there everyone else would know! The other two girls came in to check on me and I was crying in a bathroom stall. I kept saying......"I don't know why I feel this way, I think I ate a bad mushroom....it's not supposed to be like this!" To which my friends started laughing at me and saying how funny I looked. Well, I couldn't look at them laughing and not laugh so I started busting a gut and decided I was fine. However, as soon as they mentioned leaving the bathroom I started to panic. Yolanda's boyfried Mr. T. had to literally drag me out of the bathroom and into the car outside.
They all wanted to go to another bar and I didn't want to , so they called me a cab and I went back to the house we were staying at. This is where things got interesting!
As soon as the cab started pulling out I realized that it was not a cab, but was a hearse! And these people driving it were Bonny and Clyde and were going to do perverse things with me and then kill me! They appeared to have masks of other people's faces on and I almost told them I knew they were masks, but decided against it. I thought if I was friendly with them they would feel bad for abducting me and let me go. I kept babbling on about how people knew I was going home and if I didn't show up in a certain amount of time they would call the police and find me. I laugh now because they probably thought I was a really messed up girl!
I finally made it to the house, realized they weren't going to kill me, and ran into the house. The dog came to greet me and I started laughing hysterically. The dog looked like a piece of bad meat.....kinda greenish brown with spots. I was so overcome with joy that I made it to the house unharmed that I almost forgot I was on mushrooms, I also hadn't peaked yet so I thought it was manageable and I'd go to bed.
I decided to call my boyfriend back home and tell him what I'd done. He asked me whenI did them and I told him , "Oh, about an hour ago." he said, "Damn, it hasn't even peaked yet, it's going to get worse." Not something to say to a girl all alone in a big house on a drug she's only tried twice.! I started to panic and it all of a sudden hit me how messed up I was.
The floor started sloping downward to the point where I couldn't walk normally or I'd fall down the hill, and my feet where so far away from my head that I looked like I was as tall as the ceiling. I started to kinda laugh and tell Mr. S. about the floor and how screwed up it was.
Then the gut rot started to hit me and I told him to stay on the phone, cuz I was going to be sick. I ran to the bathroom and cuaght a glimpse of myself in the mirror.....I looked like a heroin addict with crazy eyes and I started freakin' thinking I was dying. I sat on the toilet with the phone lying close by. All of a sudden the toilet started going up, like a dentist chair and I couldn't touch the ground or reach the phone, and then two seconds later the phone was as big as the toilet and I couldn't pick it up. I started to lose track of where I was and kept fluctuating between being able to see out of my own eyes perspective and then looking down at myself from a higher up place. It was kind of like when someone flashes a camera in your face and you see spots after, but if you try to lok directly at the spot it goes away and another one appears inthe corner of your vision. Only instead of a light flash, it was my face I was seeing and it hit me that I was going to die on the toilet!
When I went to bed, (yes, I decided I'd had enough and would just fall asleep and make it go away!) everytime I closed my eyes I'd see flames and evil masks, and I percieved it as the Devil. I was bargaining with God, telling him to give me one more day and I'd never do shrooms again. The picture of the dog on the wall became a picture of the Devil, and I could sense so much evilness in the room that I started hearing voices, telling me to give up and give in to the Devil, and the whole time God was just standing there watching me, not offering to help. I was soooooo thirsty, and couldn't drink enough water. But everytime I'd swallow, it would feel like I had a mouthful of hair and I was choking. I was trying to pull the hair out of my mouth and couldn't understand how it got there in the first place. The dog could sense something was wrong, and she was whining and trying to get near me. I hated the dog all of a sudden, and blamed him for my gut rot and hallucinations.
At the highest point of the trip, I was so aware of everything happening in my body that I thought I could trace the mushrooms through my digetive system. I knew where they were at all times and was massaging my belly, trying to speed up their journey. I could hear my heart beat and thought it had stopped, I started to feel like I was floating away from my body and everything was getting really light and quiet. I felt like I had lost my hearing and was in a cloud of peacefulness. As nice as it felt, I was sure in my mind that I was dying and was trying to fight the nice feeling, I wanted to get back to the real world where I could use my five senses.
All in all, I trippped for 5 hours, was sick for 7 hours, and thought I was dying for two hours! Not a good trip!
What not to do on mushrooms: Do not go off by yourself, don't drink your face off beforehand, don't do them around people you have to hide it from, don't start panicking, and try to relax and go with it!