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ups and downs

Hi I was feeling pretty low lately.


I was feeling pretty low lately. And I had a small amount of dried cubensis.
I thought: "Oh what a hell, lets have some shroomies". (good idea!)

I had no preparation, in fact I had spent all the week consuming alcool and pot. And doing absolutely nothing. The alcool may have had some bad impact on my mental disposition. But at the time I was clear of alcool.

I dunno about the dosage I didn't have any way of measuring the wheight. So I took two medium shrooms. I ate them with cheese. This was about 3 pm, I had just woke out of bed.

A friend was with me, he was having lunch and reading a book while I started to trip. It started pretty fast, 10 minutes or so, already feeling the effects. I went to the living room, put some music (Do Make Say Think) and lied down in the sofa.

I started to feel depressed, and this particular living room wasn't helping me, there was no sun light. Another thing that looked creepy was this carpet, or poster, or whatever hanged on the wall. It was kind of like an African painting of an African women siting in a kind of lotus style position, and a baby inside her belly could be seen. When things started to get interesting (the walls kind of started breeding, or waving) this painting started to freak me out, as I was feeling more depressed at each passing second.

I remembered that direct sun light had a positive effect on my last trip. So I grabed my Discman, and went straight to the balcony, on the other side of the house. There was sunlight here, and it felt so good!
I didn't even bother to go get my towel, I lied down on the flor, in a way that the sun light could hit me in my belly.
One more thing that didn't help was the nasty taste of the shrooms (got to try tea next time)and whatever was happening on my stomach (wrestling between psilocybe cubensis and french cheese)was not particularly good, this was really bothering me, I felt like I was gonna puke, but the sun light kind of made me forget this feeling.
At this point everything was going fine, music, sun light, and ants crowling over my body, but I didn't seem to mind. I closed my eyes and some pretty nice visuals were passing through my head. The depression thing was gone (for the moment). Describing this visuals is dificult, but they seemed like tubes or something, like I was traveling in some tubes, and it was pretty fast, but everything changed fast, next I started to think about the sun, and a sun appeared in my mind, and it had a face. Now most of this visuals I could manipulate, but not this face, it really seemed like a face from greek art. And the face had like rays or something and started to look down, and the rays transformed into some kind of landscape, with lots of movement. Then I got back to the tubes, these were diferent.

I got back to the leaving room to get some more cd's, and I noticed the floor was all weat with my sweat (that day it was 40 degrees Celcius). Say hi to the african woman. I got back lied down... and everything was going fine (except in my stomach), I was really feeling good.

My friend showed up with a joint, and I couldn't say no to that, we were talking as he was roling it, and I was really enjoying this conversation, smiling and shit... But as soon as I started to smoke, I felt like I fell of a clif...

Depression all over again... I had to went to my room to calm down, then I went to drink water, and I drank lots of it... then I felt like going to puke again... All this existentialist questions running through my mind. "Who am I? What am I? What a fuck am I doing here? I hate this shit! I hate everybody! I hate myself!" I was freaking out, I couldn't even talk straight to my friend. We went to the basement where it was cooler, I lied down and my mind also slowed down.

He had this wonderfull idea of going to the river, we went to the car, and hit the road. When we arrived at the river, I noticed the clouds and this great patterns they were forming really cool!! And the colors of the landscape. It was like 5 pm.
We went to the water to take a dive, and it felt great. Just floating around and looking to the sky. Really cool! The comedown was starting and I went to lay down and took some notes on my sketch pad about this.

This was not really a level 3, but 2.5 perhaps, I don't know!

That's it.

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