This is the first time I felt like I had an interesting enough tripping experience worth writing about. It was to also be the strongest trip I have taken yet.
Now I've had experience with psychedelic drugs before! I had done acid and shrooms a few times since my early twenties. I also have done 5meo-dmt and recently tried foxy-methoxy and 2-ct-7. Recently I've had a renewed interest in the psychedelic compounds, especially psilocybin mushrooms. Lately I have been growing my own shrooms. I think psilocybin mushrooms are my favorite tripping drug.
Well, I have been experimenting with my homegrown shrooms since late summer, trying to find my own comfort level by upping the dose a little each time. Up until now I've dosed from 1 gram dried to about 2.3 grams dried. I've had some mildly interesting effects yet nothing really worth writing home about. Until this latest trip!
So, it was the friday evening after Thanksgiving that I planned my next meeting with the magic shrooms. I had prepared myself mentally all week and was in a good frame of mind. I would be tripping at my apartment all alone as I have done before. I prepared some shroom tea by grinding up 2.7 grams of dry cubensis mushrooms and steeping them in a mug of hot water. I drank my tea over a half-hour period while watching tv and listening to a cd on my stereo. I was aiming for a good level 3 trip. I wanted to experience stronger effects than I've had before.
I could feel the effects building, and fast. There was the wobbly uncoordinated feeling in my legs and arms. The carpeting was beginning to move in waves and swirl. Colors were getting brighter. That feeling that there is no turning back now was creeping in. I had that nervous energy that always comes at the begining of a trip. So I was walking around my apartment a lot and checking out how things looked different in this altered state of mind. Nothing that I haven't been through before though!
I turned off my stereo and sat down to watch tv because David Letterman was coming on in a few minutes. The trip was still building. My body was feeling more and more uncomfortable. I have this 6 foot tall cactus and some other houseplants by my living room window. While looking at the tv nearby, the cactus and window would seem to stretch taller and the room looked longer. Out at the sides of my vision things looked distorted like looking through a fish-eye lens.
I was watching the last few minutes of the news. It was getting really difficult to understand what the news people were talking about. I turned off the table lamp. The room flashed in different colors from the tv screen. Suddenly the person on the news seemed to project from the tv screen! His face seemed to be suspended 2 feet in front of the tv and 3 dimensional! It also looked sort of cartoonish. I had never experienced this kind of thing before and it amused me. The effects were still building and I began to realize that I was in for much more than I expected. I was wondering why 2.7 grams was doing this much. It was only 1/2 gram more than what I've done before, yet it seemed much more powerful. I started to ponder if I actually had weighed out more by mistake. No. I was pretty sure what I took.
David Letterman finally came on. I watched him do his opening monolog, but I had a hard time figuring out what he was saying. Sounds from the tv seemed to echo rapidly and skip. Peoples voices on the show seemed to do what they did on that old "Max Headroom" show that used to be on a few years ago. Dave's head didn't seem to be attached to his body. It seemed seperate and like it was just placed on top of his shoulders. I allmost expected it to fall off at any moment.
I was still going deeper! And I was starting to get scared. This was becoming more than I bargained for. Hoping to shake it off a little, I went outside on my balcony to breathe some fresh cold air. The cold air felt good but it did nothing to help my condition. Worse yet, standing on the balcony felt like standing on a boat in the ocean. It felt like it was swaying back and forth. I decided I better get back inside before I fall off the balcony.
I felt a little nauseous even though shrooms never did that to me before. Good I thought! If I can vomit maybe I'll feel better and I could come down a little. The toilet seemed to look like multiple images and fractals superimposed themselves all over the bathroom floor. I tried to vomit but couldn't. I stood up and looked close in the mirror at my face. My pupils were the biggest I've ever seen! At that moment my vision zoomed into my pupils and I entered my mind. For a few moments I lost tract of where I was. I came back out of myself and washed cold water on my face hoping to get closer to reality. I walked around my apartment carefully, dissorientated and not knowing what to do. I looked at the clock, but it seemed like time was moving way too slow for all that I had been through so far.
Now I think I was at the peak of the trip. It was taking great concentration to do simple things and my body was terribly uncomfortable. Every muscle movement felt magnified and my mind raced at high speed. I just wanted to get over with the trip. I started to think that I really did it now. I thought that I was going to be stuck in this state of mind forever. I thought I might die. I thought I might just pass out at any moment now. I felt like I was rapidly losing touch with reality. I was really scared and trying my darndest to deal with it. I had thoughts of the landlord or police finding me days later laying on the floor dead and mushrooms growing in my terrarium in the bedroom as evidence of what I've done to myself. I considered calling 911 to have me taken to the hospital. I wished somebody was here to inject me with Valium and bring me quickly out of this altered state.
I looked at the time again. It seemed to be the same as before! Strange sounds were still echoing and skipping in the background. Fractals still appeared on any surface I stared at. I thought I may need to call for help at any time now or lose it. I didn't want to get caught with illegal shrooms growing in my place. So with all my strength and concentration I hid my shroom terrarium in the closet, put dirty laundry over it, and closed the doors.
I somehow got myself under control and realized that in another hour or so my trip would start to come down and I should recover. I got myself a glass of water and some chocolate chip cookies because I was very hungry. I went back to watching David Letterman. I cuddled up with a blanket. A band and some guy named David Gray came on to play. David Gray was playing an acoustic guitar and singing. He was nodding his head to one side real fast with the beat. It looked too unreal. I thought his head was going to break off any moment and fling out to the side. The show ended and I watched Craig Kilborn and part of an old "rat pack" movie. My trip was mellowing out now. That introspective phase was here now.
I went to bed. I was tired but still coming down off my trip and couldn't sleep. I layed in bed for a couple hours waiting for sleep to come. I thought a lot about my trip and what I learned from it. I realized how precious life is and how fragile human beings are in the universe. I thought about my family and friends and how lucky I am to know and love them. I thought about all the fun and hard times we've been through together. I realized that I've been letting my body get out of shape and I'd better get back to regular excercise and weights if I want to live a long life and not have health problems takeover early. I also thought about the amazing power of the psilocybin mushrooms and to give them great respect.
I layed there thinking that I don't want to ever use psychadelic drugs again. I felt that I had come too close to not coming back to reality and I'd better not risk it again. As the days have gone by I have thought that night over a lot. A trip is only a temporary escape from reality. A gift from God and nature.
I realize that I'd like to use shrooms again but I will go back to using lower doses for awhile. I have a newfound respect for them, but I want to experience their magic again!