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Time Stopped Dead
Mc had just done a similar trip, and reported it as "very interesting and definitely shamanistic." So Mc, Jn and I were looking forward tomore of a learning as opposed to rec. experience. At the last moment Jn had to bow out, so Mc and I left 1/3 of the rue behind but descided to split the shrooms 50/50. :) Mc had never done a "heroic" (there's got to be a better term) dose before. I have, but never mixed with the rue. In retrospect, it would have been a *very* prudent idea to have had a guide there to keep an eye on us, but we lucked out any way and nothing "bad" happened.
We had picked a clearing under some oaktrees in the middle of asmall forest. Civilazation was about 3/4 of a mile away and with the woods we were sure that we could do some good primodial screaming without having to worry about visiters. :) The main learning from the site was that "off" isn't strong enough to handle the local mosquitoes and chiggers(mites). (I'm still scratching.)
We dropped the rue about 3:30 and waited an hour to see what its effect is like. Light buzz with slight visual distortion. At 4:30 we ate the shrooms and went for a walk. About 15 minutes later the shrooms began to hit. I didn't get the "waves" of energy I normally do. This seemed to come on more visually with a strong close eye show and a steady ramp up in intensity. Soon ther curvilinier fractal patterns were visible open eyed. pleasant feelings. At 5:15 we tried to take a second walk, but Mc kept getting caught in fractals. Already it was stronger than my normal rec. level. quite a bit of lost coordination. motions carry on past when they should have stopped. Sunglasses needed for anything but deep forest.
At this point we tried to drink some water/juice to stave off dehydration, since it was becoming obvious that we would soon be totally out of it. Water entered to mouth and seemed to kind of "bubble" away. I think I was swallowing it. The juice was very intensely flavored and its yellow straw left yellow smuges all over. At this point I entered into serious ego deconstruction. Normally, this feel like "dying" but this wasn't that gentile. :) (Although it was nice not thinking I was dying for a change.) I did get panicky and did my normal bit of walking all over the place. Time had stopped dead at 7:00 and didn't rear its head again until several eons later a 8:30/9:00. The main fun started when I was walking down a path and walked farther and farther from the intricasy of this reality, into one which was more and more simpllistic. I realized that if I continued in that dirrection I would become "lost" in it. This didn't appeal to me so I turned back and "returned" to a more "complex" life style. In the journey, I had lost everything except self and other. We had a nice long chat about the nature of "otherness" with the other changing from god/helper to just an other to devil/hinderer. I then descided that I was where I was because I enjoy being and personhood and playing with things. It then became apperant that toget back to this I would have to recreate a universe where they existed. So I let the universe finish collapsing in to a single point and with a shout that should be reserved for secluded places, started the big bang back up. As the univers and I seperated again, I was "given" a stint as "god" which I hope I bore gracefully, but it wasn't for me. :) After, that I was clued into the *JOKE*. This was the first time I'd ever gotten the *JOKE* and it was, and is, exceedingly funny. The universe...get it??? Oh well, I'm *still* smiling. Next I and other sat down and figured out the essentials for the universe and existence within it.
What a bout time?
I don't know...
but we can't do memories without time and I like memories
Ok, let have time
At which time *bang* I realized that with time back I'll be coming down again. After seting up the universe, I then had to rebuild me. This involved climbing into and out of a tree (which I apparently actually did, I'm shocked that I could do such a thing since I could hardly walk at the time and had lost my glasses, without which I'm blind as a bat.) Realizing my personal history, memories, place in the world at large. When this was complete, I experienced the most intense orgasm I've ever had. It was completely nonsexual and nonphysical. It was as if all of the ecstacy and euphoria were deffered to that one moment and then POW! From then on I was pretty much "down" as I realized that my glasses were missing. (9:00)
The next day I was alittle tired in the morning, but a nap cured that. That night I don't remember any dreams. The day after I had particularly clear vision and fealt extra alert. That night I had strange dreams centered around time. The day after I had particularly clear vision and fealt extra alert. That night I had wierd dreams about the nature of complexity. Today I feel "normal." Tonight? Who knows.
Overall, I found it very interesting. But it is too intense for more than infrequent exploration. Will try a much lower level next time.