the bathroom door

BEEEEEEF!!!! >:)

first trip.. i had a few small mushrooms.. only expected a light experience.. oops! thank god my parents had a sudden urge to go shopping for quite a few hours... i'm convinced fate came in to play on this one >:)

after abour 15 mins i started feeling kind of high. i plopped my opus iii cd into the puter, laid back in my bed and stared out at the trees swaying back and forth outside of the window, masked by half shut blinds...

i started noticing light visuals.. weird.. patterns.. light earthy colors.. and i felt it hit me harder and harder.. uh oh.. this is gettin a little intense.. i started dancing around a bit but it was getting too strong.. oh man i didn't know it was gonna be this intense.. i ran to my parents' bathroom and had the most terrifying, traumatizing two hours of my life in there.

it hit me harder and harder in the bathroom. i sat in the middle of the rug.. wishing that i would puke so i could feel better. my thoughts.. i wish i had a pencil and notepad to jot my thoughts down... so many strange thoughts.. about fear, love, religion racing through my mind. patterns were appearing in the carpet in my parents' room. they started making scenes of gods battling with each other. It wasn't any of the hallucinations that made me loose it... i dont know what it was.. but i almost couldnt handle it.. i wanted it to end.. i was almost crying.. the bathroom door and the doorway were some sort of gods.. and they were scolding me.. i didnt know why but i sat there in my bathroom crying saying "'m sorry i'm sorry"....

i knew i was going to get through it though... i started feeling sympathy for all the young irresponsible punks out there across the U.S. eating shrooms without knowing a damn thing about them and freaking out...

closing my eyes was even more intense... shooting through the universe...

things seemed kind of familiar.. i was in the heart of absolute fear, but i felt like i had been here b4... odd

finally after this 2 hours session i made it back to my bed and sat there chewing on my glasses and trying to fix a lense that popped out... it ocupied me for quite a while.. i looked at the tv.. it was like looking through a mosaic like piece of glass.. almost pixelized.. wow! the fear was going away and i was actually enjoying myself.

the video for nirvana's IN BLOOM came on... what a piece of art.. wow! i understood it...

i spent the next half our on the bed slowly floating back into reality.. thinking.. "WHOA!"... i tried to get on the net but found myself babbling and babbling saying god knows what to everyone.. i dont even know how i managed to type... i finally got off the keyboard and looked out the window.. my dad was home.. WOW!! what timing.. definately some sort of higher power intervening.. if only he could have seen me an hour before >:)

a 'bad trip'? yes... terrifying.. intense... unexpected... kinda like when u see ads for movies on tv over and over and u get an idea in your head.. then when u leave the theatre after seeing it.. you're like "whoa.. that wasnt what i expected"... but... i'm glad it happened... it taught me not to take my sanity for granted... despite being a bad trip i think i really benefitted <sp?> from it.. i came out with so many insights... i'm never going to be the same... felt like i was initiated.. let in on a secret club... >:)

i look forward to my next voyage... be nice to your bathroom doors >:)

peace...