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Azarius
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String Theory

Ever since I tripped on LSD 27 years ago, I have wanted to experience hallucinogenic substances again.



Ever since I tripped on LSD 27 years ago, I have wanted to experience hallucinogenic substances again. But family, career, and all manner of responsibility had interposed. Now I am 45 years old, cresting middle age with aplomb, with gray hair, and an air of 'maturity'. No chance that someone would provide *me* with acid, so I turned to home-growing my own stuff: Psilocybe cubensis. This made good sense to me, because I was able to control the quality of the shrooms, and reduce all of the other risks involved. After a month of tender loving care, my crop of shrooms came in, and I ate 15 grams of fresh (not dried) flesh of the gods, chasing it down with some cranberry juice. The cubies tasted fine to my cast iron stomach. No nausea or reviling aftertaste.


I sat in front of my pc trying not to psych myself into imagining anything happening. I intended to record the experience in as much detail as possible. I relaxed and listened to some of my favorite Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin (whom I saw live in '73). 30 minutes passed before I felt like I was in a free fall going UP! Icons on the pc monitor started dancing around and I found myself typing in time to the music, as if I were playing in the band. Not really knowing how far I would go on my mushies, and well remembering the intensity of the acid trips from years ago, I decided to lie on the couch and let it all happen in comfort and ease. I closed my eyes and was immediately swept away in a swirling geometric vortex of color and infinite depth.


The patterns and colors of the vortex were fascinating to watch, but even more so when I became part of it. There was no vertigo, but only a sense of awe as a series of dazzling worm-holes sucked me through all dimensions of time, passing me through Now, Then, and Before: I passed through Man, Dinosaurs, Insects, and then the Beginning of Everything. Eventually I was deposited into the interior of a beautiful Living Organic Space. Matter and energy were so obviously the same thing at this point. I became like the beam of an electron microscope scanning the surface of the Living Organic Thing. Every idea, every thought, and all past, present and future action of all things was a part of the tissue of the Organic Thing. Faces and places morphed from the surface to reveal themselves to me. I saw my own past rooted in the Organic Thing, and I felt alive and powerful and proud of all that I have ever done. I was awestruck how harmonious my existence is with everything else that has ever been, or ever will be. Eternity is Energy. I am Energy. I am Eternal.


I leapt from the couch and instantly was overwhelmed by the array of colors mingled with emotions that rushed through my soul. I had been on the couch for only ten minutes! I must capture the essence of the Organic Thing lest it be foreshadowed by even greater wonders! I went back to the computer. Red and green tendrils of fun pulled the words off of the keyboard and onto my fingertips. I was profoundly lucid and clear as I typed in time to the music once more with purpose and joy. I saw the screen filled not with mere words, but with a cube of crystal intelligence emitting scintillating sparks of laser beam light connecting my eyes to the screen and to the keyboard. The music, the typing, and my physical sensation of sitting at the keyboard fused into one joyous symphony of painting words. Words! Words are woefully inadequate.


I decided to try once again visit the Organic Thing by returning to the couch. The TV was on, and it spoke to me. The broadcast did not speak to me. The *TV itself* spoke to me. Of course it can speak, since it is part of the same Energy of Everything of which I am a part! Unfortunately, the act of communing with Energy in an otherwise non-responsive form like a TV completely shocked me in a pleasant way, so much so that I forgot what the TV said. I closed my eyes once again, and this time I was greeted by the Bubbling.


The Bubbling was at first a vast field of mushrooms, gently popping and seething in waves like grain on the prairies. But again, the worm-holes swept me away from this field. Now I was left at the base of a great pyramid. Atop the pyramid was an Entity, lithe, free-floating, who was generating fields of the Energy in all directions. I was directed to look beyond the pyramid by a subtle gesture of the Entity, where I saw the Strings. Physicists are trying to explain matter in terms of "String Theory". I realized that I was now on the outside of the Organic Thing, looking bleakly at the simplicity of String Theory. You see, I had seen the other side of Existence, beyond the boundary of scientific understanding. The Strings that the physicists are postulating are real, but they are merely the skin of the Organic Thing, whose real nature is Energy. We all are, and Everything is this Organic Energy. Science and *reality* only see the skin of what is actually Eternity--that is, simply: ENERGY.


Now with a respectful understanding of my essence as part of the all-encompassing Organic Thing that is Energy, I can rest. Everything is good.

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