Ever since I was a kid I was intrested in nature and the things among it. I can remmeber searching around for mushrooms and gathering them up to examine at their short lived beauty of all different colors. I didn't find out they were hallocinogenic till about 3 years ago and that struck me as odd since I always had a strange facination with them. As I grew up my life was not too great, bad parents, got homeschooled, lost all friends, has no life, always depressed. Nothing has ever worked for me to bring me out of my pit of dispair and no care for living anymore until last friday night. A few friends of mine which will call J and K said they had some mushrooms and wanted to come over to trip and said I could trip with them so I said sure.
They had a jar filled with a nasty looking liquid which was boiling mushroom juice and some mushies in a bag for alittle extra. We devided it up into 3 liquid dosages and we all drank it and chased it down with lemonade, me, wanting to trip as hard as possible decided to eat the mushrooms that J had not boiled and I did so with a happy grin on my face. Soon after I began to feel a cold sensation in my stomach beginning to spread throughtout my whole body and I felt a warm vibrating buzz all throughout.J and K said they were already tripping hard and I was just repeating over and over that I wasn't feeling anything except a light body buzz. We sat in my room listening to music and they were explaining to eachother all the amazing things they were seeing and feeling and I bitched in jealousy cause I did not feel the same way.... woah wait a minute what are these purple and red dots allover the carpet, they soon began raising as if erupting from a volcano. I found it to be so beautiful as if I was a giant looking down on a small earth of erupting colors. I totaly warped out in my own mind trying to comprehend all the amazing swirling and melting things around me but they could not be put into words so I would just mumble strange noises every now and then. I look up at my ceiling fan and all around it were rainbows of all different colors and they began to come toghether as if i was looking down a vortex of twirling bending colors. I could not stop looking at its beauty, it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen like being in a winamp visual(if you guys know what those are)
Time-dialation was extreme as I heard off josh counting off the minutes yet it seemed like hours had passed... after about 4 hours of walking around being so intrested in every little thing as if I was a child, all the amazing patterns on the wall and carpet struck me as such an amazing thing that my brain could create such beauty. Well J and K decided it was time to go so I said later guys as I was till in a pretty trippy state I went and layed down on my bed trying to comprehend all the amazing things that had happened in the past 4 hours.... I stared at the blinds on my window for what seemed like an hour as they bended and swayed in what seemed like wind yet there was none and they exteneded like large white combs reaching out as far as they possibly could. I got bored with this and started at some glow in the dark cream I put on my wall near my black light, so my amazment I saw a woman's face and she looked like she was in shock. Slowly she began to move and her mouth moved with her and I began to listen to hear talk. It sounded as if her voice was echoing athousand times over so I could not understand exactly what she was trying to say, I began to get paranoid that I was still tripping after so long so I went to take a bath hopeing the trip would end. As I laid in the bathtub with only my mouth above water and my eyes wide opened I slowly fell into a dark room in my mind where everything in my mind was writting on leaves on bushes, Some of the thoughts written were bad and some were great and I soon began trimming the bad from the good. Each time I trimmed this bush I felt happier with myself and my whole life and all of a sudden I felt the walls of this room closing in on my telling me it was time to go. I felt a pull on my whole body just lift my out of my body and 20 feet into the air and I could see myself laying there. As soon as I was out of my body I slammed straight back into it and felt horrible pain all throughout. I jumped right out of the bathtub to dry myself and as soon as I looked in the mirror everything was different. How I pervered the way I was different, how I perserved everything in life was. I hadn't felt such joy in my life that I can remember and as I was staring into myself through my eyes I grinned in happiness that I had made it through so much shit in my life and that it has made me a better person for it, for I will not repeat the same to anyone. I soon fell asleep and wokeup with a whole new outlook on life and how to live it, I didn't want to dwell my whole life on bad thoughts, I wanted to live for the good and forget the bad. I felt I knew what I had to do now and It has kept with me since this has happened. I can honestly say my depression is pretty much gone and I no longer dwell everything around things that I know will never happen. I create my own life now, no longer needing to be dependant on something that doesnt exsist. I have my own life and no one can live it for me. I will explore the knowledge of man and theorize unexplained phenomena. This experience has totally changed my life and I think anyone who feels they need to rethink everything to try this wonderful thing called the mushroom for it secrets will be revealed only for the user and no one else.