Priest of the Temple

I had been wanting to try shrooms for quite some time, and after doing lots of reading and thinking I decided to go ahead. I wanted to make the set and setting as comfortable and supportive as possible. Although most people would think it foolish, I tripped alone. I felt comfortable doing so because I have had several very good experiences with DXM. At about 12:30 AM I ate 6 fresh and four dried mushrooms mixed in yoghurt, a gram of vitamin C and a capsule of ginseng extract (to help my cognitive function).

Nothing happened for over an hour, so, perhaps foolishly, I ate a few more dried shrooms. Soon after I began to feel the skin on my head tighten, which for me is a sign that Something is happening. I got in bed with my journal, lit by the lava lite casting its red glow about the room, put on Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, and closed my eyes. Soon I was visualizing the music in all its richness and glory. I thought that the trip had peaked by the time that it finished, but I was wrong. I put on The Cocteau Twins "Heaven or Las Vegas," a personal favorite for altered states, and very quickly it seemed as if my bedroom was transformed, if not visually then psychically (a poor choice of words, but I lack the proper adverb) into a Temple, beautiful rainbows in intricate patterns flowing around me. I perceived all matter as energy.

I laughed in joy, listening the songs in my headphones sound like glorious hymns to the divine. I felt transcendent; I came to feel as if I were a Divine Being, simultaneously myself and this other. I looked at my life, the loneliness and pain that I have felt, and cried seeming rivers of tears, the sad songs of the Cocteau Twins filling my mind with their melancoly. I believe that this was the Peak of my trip, this feeling of godhood and utter compassion for all the hurt I have ever felt. I also thought about my friends and family, my love for them and gratitude for their sharing their souls with me, shaping me into the person I am today.

Around six a.m. I tried to go to sleep but couldn't. This was frustrating to me, as I did have things to do that afternoon and evening. Eventually I gave up and went to watch t.v. I couldn't watch people; they seemed deformed: eyes looked wrong, foreheads bulged in strange places. An ad for a childrens game involving bouncing balls struck me as totally bizarre. Everything on seemed wrong, like surreal photos. I found something to watch, though: Bugs Bunny cartoons. I found them to be hilarious. I have always loved Bugs, but then they especially seemed to be examples of the individual fighting the forces of coercion and agression. On two different channels I saw the same cartoon, which seemed deeply meaningful. Bugs tricks Yosemite Sam into climbing into an oven, has a change of heart and tries to get him out. He discovers that there is a party inside, and his parting line is "I don't ask questions, I just have fun." I accepted this, but I was left with a lot to think about. I must say that this was the most moving and in many ways "religious" event in my life.