Out Of Control

I have attempted to type this trip out several times but each time i would submit it there would be an error in my computer so i hope the third time is a charm. I had sort of tried shrooms before but had such a low dose (and i was so fucking stoned) i didn't notice it. So about a year later i was going to buy some weed when i found some friends of mine who told me about a dealer who always had weed, and had shrooms that they had seen just 10 minutes ago and was comming back to take some orders. I had a feeling i wasn't going to get a hodl of the shrooms since i felt i had a "shroom curse" on me. I had tried to obtain shrooms at least 13 times, each time failed. So i waited with them and we met up with the dude in a parking lot, we said we wanted to get an 1/8 each, he said ok. I nearly shit my pants in excitiment, finally, i was going to get some mushrooms! He came back 10 minutes later with our shrooms that he said where the strongest he had ever seen in a long time. We thanked him and went our seperate ways. There was a battle of the bands at my school that i was originally going to go to so i decided to just wait til later that night to shroom. After the battle of the bands was over i rushed home, and went to my room. I had done acid once, and only once (acid isn't good for the brain) and i had the idea that shrooms were basically the same thing. The acid trip was mainly staged in my room allllll night. It was like a never ending party, so i wanted to keep the same atmosphere. I ate the shrooms with some tangerine juice and noticed the shrooms were not bad tasting at all, kind of good until you get to the bottom of the bag, then it starts feeling nasty. I ate them at 11:05 pm. After about 25 minutes i noticed i was feeling floaty and things started to move a bit when i swayed from side to side. I started feeling liek i was drifting towards a new conciousnis and it was all good. So then i put on some headphones and listened to some Primus and The Doors. About 1 hour into the trip i was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by everything that was going on. I couldn't focus on anything for more than a split second and it caught me by suprize. It was nothing like acid, i had an intense body high after an hour and i knew i was expecting 5 more hours of this. I started to get a bit worried when i realized i wasn't even close peaking. I tried to think of something that would help me relax. The music started to make me feel a bit bored so i turned it off to just let my mind wander where ever it wants to. At this point i started to panic. I started saying stuff to myself to reasure my self that i was ok, i just needed to think of something happy. I was saying "i feel great, no i don't, i need too...umm...i need help, no, i can't, i feel good, oh shit, i need help!" I turned on some Foo Fighters since they used to be my all time favorite band and i notice that Dave's voice seemed to be mocking me. It felt like he was trying to tell me that he was so much better than me since he seemed so assured of his singing. At this point i sat down and was starting to try to get clear minded for just one second. I jumped on my bed and started getting intense feelings of what i was seeing. I knew that i could not do anything about the state i was in, i was just going to have to tough it out for 5 hours! So i layed there on my bed hoping that i would sit there and then the next thing i knew it an hour would pass and eventually i would just escape this bad trip. I felt my face and it felt liek it was puffing up, then i felt intense pressure on my body liek i was about to explode from the inside, this was caused by the nausia i was feeling. At the time i was so scared about throwing up that i knew it was not an option, i was going to have to suck it up and deal with it. I started thing i was having an allergic reaction to shrooms and i was puffing up. I ran to my bathroom to look in the mirror to see if i was ok but for a split second i noticed i was fine then i couldn't tell what i looked like. I went to the bathroom and then though "damn, it must be like 3 am by now, i will be ok in a few hours." I looked at my pager and saw that it was only 12:37! I knew i was in for one crazy night. I layed back in my bed kicking my legs around since it felt so uncorfertable to keep them still. My vision started getting really fucked up, everything looked like one giant smeared poster with weird orange colors (like the color of this background.) I covered my face with my arm and tried to get as confertible as i could so i could sleep it off. After about a minute (10 minutes in shroom time) i knew it was not possible. I then started changing. I was morphing into some sort of worm, then a giant rod of flesh and bone. Then i was a ball, a giant flesh ball that was growing. The body buzz was so intense i was fighting to stay in control of my conciousness, i was afriad i was going to pass out and die. I become the size of the earth. I then left my body and became part of what i liek to call "The Life Force." I was no longer human, my "soul" had become electromagntism. I was part the stuff that bonded the universe. I was everywhere at once and no where at the same time. It was the only time i had to question weither i was real or not. Did i go into another dimention where normal rules of having a body didn't apply? I thought that i had gotten the beginning of time, before anything existed, just me floating in infinite space with nothing, no matter, no atoms just my "soul." I thought maybe i hade been given wrong mushrooms or rather the right mushrooms but waayyyyy too much. I had visions of the evolution of man and mushroom, from the first time a human ever ate a mushroom containing psilocybin to the end of the world. I thought of all the people who had died from overdoses or who had had overdoses like Kurt Cobain. I don't do heroin, nor would i ever question weither i woudl take it or not, the answer is flat out no but i felt an odd connection to him. I was never going to come out of it i thought but i knew i would come out of it eventually but something was hinting to me that i wasn't ever going to recover from a psilocybin overdose. I was reaching the peak, the peak was basically not being able to tell weither my eyes were open or not, the only way i coudl tell was the feeling of my eyes open and shut but it looked the same both ways. At this point i had no control over myself. I felt like twiching nerves, some sort of maggot, shaking around without one bit of control. I felt the urge to vomit increase but i fought it with all my might. I picutred myself just flopping around liek a fish out of water throwing up all over myself without realizing it. I was in absolute fear. I can't remember all the details after that but i remember at some point (i think just before i had layed on my bed) stripping down to boxers since i felt the use of clothes was not needed. I threw my wallet across my room since i felt money was alien to me and served no purpose. It was about 4 am when i started to come down but i didn't realize it in the same way as i would have thought. I began to feel my body normally again but it was differant, i felt touch but it was remote, like i couldn't pinpoint the exact location that i was being touched. I started testing my sense of touch bu poking my leg but i came to the conclusion that i fucked up my nervious system. I though that it was impossible to return to normal from this. I was detached from what i was feeling. I went numb, i began to think i was dying. I have not died before so i had no clue what to expect when i did die. My body was telling me i was dying so i checked my pulse. My sense of touch was so messed up i could barley feel my pulse! I was breathing really fast trying to get as much oxygen into my body to keep me alive. I held my breath and it felt like i didn't need to breathe at all, the was no suffication feeling that i normally get. I needed something to eat, i needed fuel for my body. I looked for any sort of food around me and being as insane as i was at the time i began to eat some binder paper since i was too exhausted to stand up. I gathered all my strength togather and stood up and drank some of my remaining tangerine juice. I ran downstairs to the kitchen to look for some food. I grabbed a small cheese thing in wax and i had something else but i don't remember what i was, i think i had a little bit of milk. It was begining to rain outside. I ran upstairs and fighting to open the cheese thingy. I was so frusterated that i just tore it open with my mouth and scraped the cheese from the wax with my teeth, i even got some wax in there too, ack. But i didn't care, i knew i was going to be better. I layed back in bed and thought that the apolcolypse was about to occur in the rain, any second there was going to be a gigantic explosion and everything was going to be wiped out. Any second now we woudl all be gone but that idea quickly faded. I had the urge to go to the bathroom. I went and flushed the toilet. I noticed the way the sound of the settling toilet was reverbed though the bathroom and i felt like i was back in my own world. I was sooo happy and i was no longer scared but i was shaken from the experiance. I layed in bed and realized that i coudl have died and that i should make the best of my life while i can. Ever since then i had a strong push to get a good education and go to college. I was at that time trying to drop out of school but after that night i pulled a 180 and im back in school now trying my best to succeed. I spent the rest of the night watching a weird patten on my floor sway around so fluently that it was what i expected shroom hallucinations to look like. It was now about 5:10 am. I learned a lot from this trip that changed my life for the better, if this trip never happened i would be living in a gutter in the next 10 years. All i can say is that the magic mushroom is a teacher for living a better life.