Oh...Hi Mom!!

It was a warm, sunny Spring afternoon. Far too nice a day to work, and my roommate Brian and I just happened to have half an oz. of some really good shrooms! We ate about 4 grams apiece (I recommend eating them with Kit Kats...you won't taste a thing!) and decided to go to the park and throw the frisbee until they kicked in.

After about 30 minutes I started to feel my jaw tighten and I got that familiar euphoric feeling. It was such a nice day and our neon pink frisbee seemed to move in slow motion across the field. Needless to say, after about an hour of physical exertion (which sped up the effects) there was no way we could continue to throw the disc, so we sat underneath a blooming Dogwood tree and let the sun shine on us thru the branches. I don't remember how long we sat there, but somewhere along the line we realized we still had to call in sick to work. So we made the trek back to our place to use the phone.

Brian was feeling a little sketchy about the whole situation. I tried calming him down but he was giving off some bad vibes...not good when you're about to scam your way out of work. I made him leave the house and told him to take his negativity with him so I could accomplish this task. All went well, I feigned food poisoning and said Brian was out of town and didn't see the schedule had changed. (Which was almost true!) Our asses were covered!!

We rolled up a couple of joints and decided on Dave Matthews to accompany us on our journey. Sitting back on my couch, I was really getting some good visuals. The ceiling was swirling and larger swirls were engulfing the smaller ones as I grooved to the music. I was suddenly shocked back to earth when the phone rang!!

I checked the caller ID and didn't recognize the number...so I decided to live on the edge and answer it! "Hello? Oh...Hi Mom!!" (I didn't know my mom had gotten a cell phone!) "Hi Jim, me and your dad were downtown and thought we would stop by and surprise you!" Oh Shit!! I was definitely surprised, and I had to do something quick! Meanwhile Brian is silently laughing his ass off, not realizing the full scope of the disaster about to happen! I had to think of something quick..."Mom, thats not a good idea" I said, "I kinda have company right now...its a girl." "Oh, well we would love to meet her, we should be there in about 15 minutes!" "Mom," I said quickly, "Now isn't the best time, if you know what I mean." Silence on the other end... "Mom, I answered the phone as a joke, I never in a million years would have thought it would be my mother!" It was brilliant!! I knew my mom would be way too embarassed to come over now, and Brian was rolling on the floor trying his best not to laugh out loud! My mom let out a sheepish little laugh and said, "Okay, I guess we will come over some other time!" "Okay mom, Bye!" As soon as I hung up the phone Brian and I burst into uncontrollable laughter for about half an hour.

For the rest of the day we listened to music and smoked weed, but every so often we would just start laughing about my "Moment of Clarity" as Brian called it! I just wish I could have seen my moms face when she realized what I was saying! Quite a memorable experience!!