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Mushroomy car wash

I had tried shrooms once before, okay twice.

I had tried shrooms once before, okay twice. A friend had hooked me and my buddy chuck up with an eighth of shrooms, (two caps and some stems and shake.) It had been sort of spur of the moment as we were only in the market for weed that night, but had mentioned to our friend we were on the lookout for some pychotropic edibles. We bought them and decided to have one stem. That produced minor vibrating hallucinations and some other funny shit. The next day we took the rest, some breathing on a mural, everything was a bit off, but we had another guy with us so he kinda killed it in my opinion(he doesnt' do drugs).

I was a little disappointed after this second one, I had been expectiong so much more. But not a day later, I stumbled upon another eighth of some gold and white shrooms. just one cap this time, not as big of a bag but I paid even more for it as I was pretty excited to get a "re-do". Chuck and Jack (that's me) decided to trip that night. We both had to work though and we didnt' want to be out that late. SOlution? Well I had been stoned at work tons of times (I'm a manager, 20 years old, always stoned) so I, who had to work till eleven or so, chuck only till nine, said Hey, when you get off, come to my job break the shit up, and we'll dose there. Great fucking plan dumbass. After I got off, CHuck would call me and we would meet by his place in a park with the buzzkill guy who would drive us around. I however still had to make the twenty minute drive to the park after work.

I did some actual work at one point and broke into a minor sweat, strange since I don't usually work up a sweat doing this fairly easy job. Our security guard started giving me some shit but all I heard was "wah wah wah wah wah wah." like in Charlie brown. I just about lost it and mumbled something about having to make the money drop and do the schedule upstairs. All this time, I am starting to get hit, hard. There are young kids who technically work for me that I am asking to read shit to me casue I can't. I send them all home after getting like three second opinions about the matter, and went upstairs to the office to put in the time clock.

THis is done on a computer in a brightly lit room and this gave me some trouble, I had to re do everything I had started because I didint' keep track of who I had punched in or out. a five minute job took about fifteen. I was starting to get a little funk in the tummy area and knew I didn't have much time before the walls started crawling. When the did I got up and started to leave. As soon as I stood up two other managers, a money counter, a technition and another employee burst into the office and immediately start chit chatting with me. I knew it was small talk somehow, and not something important and excused myself, "I got a funk goin on."

The security guard as I left called to me, in a manner that suggested he knew I was doing something wrong, almost tattle taley. Our security guard, though stupid, does not look like the tattle taley kind, he's about six eight and weighs probably 320 pounds (thats a lot of kilograms to those of you who live in civilized countries). I answered squemishly and he replied "have a nice night". He has never before wished me a good night so it seemed fishy and I gave him a wierd look, I remembered that my pupils were probably pushing the limits of my irises at the moment so I took off. Trying to think of a song to whisle.

I got into my car and sat staring at the brick walls of my workplace as they flexed in and out, towards and away from me. After five minutes of sitting I started the engine. I had forgotten the WHO were blasting over my stereo and it scared the shit out of me. My heart had been racing before anyway now it was like I had run a marathon.

The drive home was terrible, but great. Everything looked just a bit off. Like someone had lined up everything just a little too haphazardly and there were missing pieces. A car on the road shrinked to power wheels size and I exclaimed to no one "LOOK AT HOW SMALL THAT FUCKING CAR IS!"
I realized I was alone and laughed so hard I almost went off the road. Chuck finally called twenty minutes after I told him too and said he would meet me directly. I went to the park to wait and to take a piss, that had apparently been the funk. I parked the car in what looked like a nice inconspicuous place and ran off to take a piss. While making water I looked up and saw more stars than I had ever seen dancing across a deep purple velvet sky. It was breathtaking. I looked to the park and noticed something was wrong. I hadn't really noticed my surroundings yet, so preoccupied with peeing I had been. The park was completely wrong. I have been to this place hundreds of times and know what it should look like, it was far too small, part of the playground was missing, and the west half of the park was totally gone, there were houses there now. Hmm I thought. As I thought this the ground started to snake back and forth in great flat waves. Like ripples in a sine wave. That was pretty interesting but I realized that someone was watching me. I ducked behind my car and lit up a smoke. I Zoned out and lay nearly prone on the wet grass in a nice white shirt and tan corderouys. I heard a car coming from Chucks house's direction and stood. I immediately realized how stupid this was as if it was a cop I was pretty much screwed. The car, which did not look familiar, drove down the street turned around and came back as I watched it. It did not occur to me how stupid I must look. As they arrived before they stopped chuck got out of the passenger seat. (It was his car so this confused me and I could not figure out who he was. HE was also wearing his glasses, which he never does except for movies so I did not know him.) He got out and started excitedly lambasting me about my terrible parking job. I had parked in the park. I had just pulled off the road into the grass and not really noticed. But I'm like, fuck moving it, lets go. Chuck took my keys and looked directly in my dialated eyes, "I'll be right back". He got in my car and tore out of there. I discussed my folly with the non using third party who was driving.

We drove on the highway for a super long time. Stories that we know to take one to two minutes lasted in one case 27 minutes and in another 24, but the subject had so completely changed it didn't count as the same story. OUr third party needed to be dropped off, so we dropped him at his house and began the trek back, I in shotgun, packed a bowl. The best way to describe our weed smoking that night is as follows: I am a stoner. I smoke tons of weed, every day, multiple times, I love the stuff. CHuck likewise, we usually smoke together in his car. But tonight, we were trying to smoke, but we just didn't get it. We were sucking too hard, not enough, drop the bowl, forget the bowl lose the bowl. It was ridiculous. Smoking cigarettes became difficult as well, it was like "what next?" I just didnt' get it.

After we dropped our friend off chuck had to check in with his folks then sneak back out. He was going to do this right away so I waited down a street with my lights off. When I pulled into my spot, I turned off the car and everything went silent but my head. A pounding ring was throbbing in my head forcing me into a hypnotic gaze I stared straght ahead and watched. The trees at the end of the streed formed a large head and looked in my direction, just staring. The road that led to these trees steepened then fell away just before them, to some unknown pit in the earth. As I watched this happen I became aware of a tingling over my entire body, like an amazing orgasm all over everywhere (no ahem, discharge, thank God) As I felt this I looked again throught the windshield and the mirrors and the car pulled off the street side and silently began floating, as though driving, toward this hill. As the car obviously moved and it was felt through my entire body another more powerful wave of tingles and shivers went through my body. It was so good it was frightening. I was shocked stupid by the power of this part of the trip. I sat staring straight ahead with my mouth open and my body slumped, looking like a stroke victim. I watched as my body and what I knew as me floated toward the hole in the earth. I felt this more than saw this, becasue I know I was no longer in my body, my soul, and conscience had somehow escaped my body and, though still near and connected maybe a bit. The tingleing was like where my body should have been around my soul, but it wasnt there, the blasting ringing was the silence of not listening to bodily functions, it was absolut nothing. YOu could have asked me my birthday or my name and I dont' think I could have answered you. It was too frightening and though an amazing hallucination, I knew that I would be miserable without my soul, and figured that God probably didn't want me getting rid of it just yet. I frightened my self back into my body and the car backed back from whence it came. as it pulled in I felt the tingling disperse. I regained concousness, eyes still wide and staring and saw chuck running to the car. He got in and described his own hallucination which also sounded pretty wild, wierd that we would both have an amazing hallucination at the same time. We were planning to get the car washed and go back to my place.

Why wash the car? Why? Because it is the most trippy man made readily available thing there is. Find a touch free car wash with closing doors around it and buy the best wash. Trip. Pack a bowl and close windows. Turn up chemical brothers CD or Pink Floyd CD. Enjoy the show. Hot box in the car wash and keep an eye on the water dancing on the windshield, then enjoy your windshield becoming water, and being manipulated by the jets. As the two towers that spray the car go past, not the blissful feeling of flight, as you seem to glide forward for a while, just give it a go. Snakes of crystal ran down my windshield, and it turned to gel that was blown around by the jets. The foam turned different colors and washed out all of my vision into red purple and green. I couldn't see until the window turned back to gel and looked like a desert sand dune made of crystal clear water. It was amazing, go to the car wash, you'll thank me for it. It's also an inconspicuous place to smoke up too.
Jack Tupponganja--jacktupongonja@hotmail.com

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