Mi Tiempo Primero

I had spent a whole day with two friends of mine (chris and richard) smoking weed and snorting special k and hanging out at the mall. when we finally made it back to chris's house i was so burnt. i didn't even want to take anymore drugs. but when chris and richard broke out three eighths of shrooms, how could i resist? i poured my eighth into my hand and started eating the stems and caps one by one. never do that, cuz they taste like the cow shit they grew on. anyway, i learned quickly that the best way to go is to just throw the shrooms down your throat all at once and not worry about it.
it took about twenty minutes before i started to feel the effects, and damn was it awesome. there was a picture of a whale's tale splasing down on the ocean on chris's wall and i swear to god i thought i was drenched after the whale slammed it's huge fin down onto the surface of the water. the walls started to ripple almost like a stone was thrown through their liquid exteriors. when i would blink it felt like my eyes were closed an eternity and these little intricate webs made of a silly string type of material would form. i would stare into the depths of my imagination with my eyes closed for minutes on end. i was amazed.
after about an hour and a half of blinking my eyes i decided tv was a good idea. (i'm not explaining what happened to my other two friends yet because i was in my own little world for most of my trip) as i watched hbo on my friend's tv the room seemed to stay the same size, but i felt like the only thing outside chris's room was a void, nothing, something like outer space, except there wasn't even planets or stars, it was more like an emptiness, similar to a black hole. i was afraid to leave the room, even though i had to piss like a race horse. so i figured if i think of something else i could get my mind off of pissing. so what did i do? i pondered the meaning of life, and no matter what question i had for myself, the answer was television. the only way that i can explain it is that i had set up a social pyramid in my mind. at the top, there was the government, below that was my grand parents, below that was my parents, and below that was me. but for some reason the foundation for the social pyramid that i had constructed had evaporated. it scared me, i thought there was no purpose for my being alive. when i snapped out of it, i turned to richard, who was practicing his graffiti on a piece of paper, and i asked him a pointless question. he responded, "bluh bluh bla" and oddly enough, it made perfect sense. then he asked me a question and i tilted my head back and let out the most deep throated laugh i've ever heard myself do. his face had morphed into that of a horse!! i turned to my friend chris to ask him if he saw the same thing, except his face turned into that of a shrew. i thought i was going to die laughing. as i slowly came down from my trip, the void outside the room went back to normal, richard turned back into richard, chris turned back into chris, and i had to PISS! little did i know that richard and chris had each gotten up numerous times to piss,(apparently while i was laying on the couch drooling on myself in a flipped out state) but they didn't flush, because they didn't want to wake the parents. so i followed suit and pissed without flushing.
i didn't know this at first but, when you piss after coming down from shrooms, your piss is almost pure hallucinagen. so we had a toilet full of shroom reminence, and the funny thing was, chris's dog drank from the toilet later the next morning, it fell down the steps, it started barking at the wall, and all kinds of weird shit. we didn't want to get bit so we grabbed his dog and held her down. i peered into her eyes and i couldn't see any iris! her pupils were so dialated it was impossible to see any color. instead of Sasha, we now call her Cujo. she fully recovered and we're still waiting for another batch of shrooms to find their way into our neighborhood.