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Man-Eating Plants

Howdy folks, just had to tell ya about this trip I had on Saturday.



Howdy folks, just had to tell ya about this trip I had on Saturday... It was too much fun!
After a night of heavy tequila drinking and dancing at a Great jazz show in Pittsburgh, my friend and I were woken by two rowdy cable repair-men. We offered them some beer, but they turned it down. We had beer for breakfast: a keg of Bass, very good.
At about two o'clock, our friend called and suggested a day-trip at Phipp's Conservatory, which is a botanical museum in Pittsburgh. I had never been there, but my friend assured me, it would be real cool.
So we moseyed on over to our buddy's apartment, where he showed us a perfect little terrarium sprouting bunches of pins, with a few perfect specimens screaming, "Eat Me! Eat Me!" So we did.
I love fresh mushrooms...they just don't compare with dried ones. They are much more smooth, both coming on, and coming down I think. Also, they never make me sick, unlike dried booms, which have often made me violently ill... I do have a sensitive stomach, though.
They didn't take long at all to come on, and by the time we got to the conservatory, things were feeling really funky. We all had an intense dislike for the other visitors, and we wished it wasn't Saturday... as we walked around, we could feel their rushed nervousness. They all seemed unable to really "see" the plants; they were just looking at everything as if it were on a television screen.
We ended up running away from them for awhile, until I suggested: "Just pretend they are another exhibit, like the funny farm people zoo!" And we all relaxed a bit and laughed at the people instead. The kids were the cool ones, as always... Why do adults have to lose their cool like that? I want to know! I sure wish it wouldn't happen to me...kind of like Peter Pan...it's just that "maturity" seems like such a false image much of the time....
Anyway, this museum is absolutely nuts when you're boomin... the flowers' scents took us back in time to the land of castles and hedgerows, the tropical room was like the jungle, with monkeys in the trees (we imagined) throwing bananas at all the stupid tourists...
The fruit room had all different kinds of tropical fruits popping out at us, and we had a stealth mission to swipe a few kumquats. If any of you haven't tried citrus fruit while tripping, damnit, go do it right now! It just seems so perfect...I've heard the Vitamin C has something to do with it...but I think it's just the right thing to eat when you're dosed. It kicks you up to a crazy level!
At this point we were sitting on top of a Huge sculpture in the outdoor gardens...the sun was setting slowly, and we were peaking quite nicely. Our sculpture was a giant tree stump, that you could sit on top of, or climb inside of. We had a great time with that...it was like our own little clubhouse. One of the "Others" saw us in their acting like chipmunks and she says, "Is that an exclusive club?!" I invited her in, but she declined...
Then we found a hedge maze and a secret table with teeny little chairs, all made out of natural wood. It was like a little gnome table, and we promised to come back and deal some card games here later.
Last, but certainly not least was the Desert Room, where enormous cacti and succulent spikers twanged out of every angle. My balance was screwy at this point, and I was afraid to fall into a thorny mess of sand and needles. It was a very realistic possibility! But man, two plants stood out from ALL the Others in the whole place:
Man-Eating Plants from another world, surely...they were the size of a small car, put together...tiger stripes and ridgeline spikes down the sides of mammoth "leaves"...more like dinosaur tongues...and one huge spikey implement of destruction in the middle...and gouging tool that could poke through three people at once.
I am not exaggerating. These plants were astounding...and the wierdest part was that they seemed more alive than all the others... Needless to say, I kept a good distance from them. I wasn't going to fall for their trap...
As I walked away, I saw small children being quietly kidnapped from their parents sight...a mere snack for these prehistoric predators.
And shortly after this, the Conservatory closed for the day. But I will be back! It is a promise...
We retreated through the oppresive cold to our buddy's place, where we made Kiwi-Mushroom-Buttermilk Whole Wheat Pancakes. Wow! Here's the recipe (be careful):

* 2 cups whole wheat flour
* 2 eggs, beaten
* 1 1/2 cups buttermilk
* 2 tsp. baking powder
* a pinch of salt
* a kiwifruit, diced
* a handful of fresh mushrooms(psyl.), diced

Just mix it all up, it doesn't matter how, then fry them right up, pow pow pow, eat them straight up, or with maple syrup now, and in no time at all, you'll see how, we felt on that night, the Night of the Man-Eating Plants!

Peace:)

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