Before I did mushrooms for the first time I never knew what the Beatles were talking about in that song... but after last night I can say that I AM THE WALRUS!
Me and my buddy Andy (not his real name) bought a bag of shrooms off my other friend Dave. Dave told us to eat the mushrooms with milk if we didn't want to get sick. Let me tell you that this the worst advice that anyone has ever given me! I nibbled on one of the little shroomy wonders just to see if it was as bad as everybody said, and then Andy was like "We better get some milk I don't want to puke!" So me and Andy went to the fridge and poured two cups of milk and put the mushrooms in to disolve, but they DIDN"T! They just sat there floating, laughing at us! So Andy was like "let's blend them!" So we poured the glasses of milk (with the mushrooms ) into the blender and then just before I turned it on Andy was like "Lets get the Qiuck!" So we gave it 8 good squeezes of Strawberry Qiuck and then blended it for about 5 minutes. Well, the mushrooms still hadn't disolved, but they were broken up into little peices and well distributed through out our Shroomshake! Well, we poured it back in the glasses and gulped it down... Andy gagged, but I think that was because there was too much Strawberry not becuase there was too much fungus. We sat down to let the mushrooms do their thing and after about 15 minutes Andy started getting a funny look on his face. I asked him if he was Shrooming and he said I think so and then got up and walked to the sink and just puked and puked and puked. And it was all pink! Well, I felf sick to but I just kept consentrating on keeping it in (I get drunk a lot and am really good at this!) and pretty soon the feeling went away. Well, Andy figured that he'd puked away his high and so he went and got Swampy Pete, our neon green alien bong. Well he was hanging with Swampy I started just looking at things and I noticed that things were... different. The kitchen was fucked, but I don't know how, just a little, and in a good way. Andy was totally pie eyed and I looked at him and I was like "Your sister's got a nice ass!" and I just started laughing because he dosen't even have a sister! We got up and went out to the living room and started playing mortal combat and when I used my finishing move on Andy it was so funny I started laughing and laughing and I pissed myself a bit, which sucked. Andy didn't notice cuase he was chowing down on a bowl of cheasies left over from the night before when we got drunk. I went up stairs adn into the bathroom and I decided to have a shower I started taking off my pants and I felt like I was drunk and I almost fell over. When I finally got of m0y clothes I looked in the mirror and my face was moving! It was like the person looking back at me wasn't me and it was scary. I closed my eyes and I noticed that my eyes were full of patterns which were thin lines of blue and red and moving. Well, I turned aroun and got a towel and then hung it over the mirror without looking at my face agian. Then I had a shower and I started looking odown at myself (I've always had a waight problem but I not really fat) and I thought I look like a walrus and it wasn't embaressing it was funny becuase walruses aren't fat they just are. So when I towled and changed and went downstairs (I stopped in my room and listened to the Nine Inche Nails on headphones and just tripped for like an hour) I went up to Andy and shook him becuase he looked like he was sleeping and he looked up at me and said he was tripping after all. I told I was the Walrus and he was like "Whatever!" and laughed. Then we just spent the rest of the day tripping and watching Jim Carry's The Mask (I started thinking I bet that guy's on shrooms too) And when his face was all messed up with the mask it looked just like my face in the mirror. Mushrooms were amazing and next time I'm going to do a quarter once and go to church.