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Hallways In My Mind

This trip I took 1g of dried ps.

This trip I took 1g of dried ps. cub. but was in a bit of a hurry for some reason. This was a big mistake as I found out. When the effects were coming on, I lit some incense and watched the smoke. It occurred to me that intricate curling and waving of the smoke was simple and yet way more involved than all but very advanced math and physics. Soon, I felt drawn into the world of the smoke and spent some time just absorbing the beauty of the patterns; ripples, split wisps, undulations that curled back on themselves, and so on. I wished I had taken a larger amount at that point.

Then I decided to sit quietly with eyes closed and enjoy the effects. I'm not sure how long it was from when I simply felt happy and deeply content to the start of some closed eye hallucinations. But I was then walking down a peach colored corridor with some sort of soft, spongy floor. This hallway curved always slightly to the right, and every so often there were archways, like some sort of architectural support. But connected to the archways were octopus-looking arms made of what seemed to be a mosaic of colored stones. The arms kept gently furling and unfurling. I wondered why it was so interesting when in the normal world I figured it would have scared me to be in a hallway like this.

About then I realized I wasn't in just any hallway, but that this was a corridor in my mind. And that I wasn't yet allowed into any of the rooms because that's where the inner workings were. I needed to slowly work up to that and learn the place better before I'd be allowed in the rooms. So I started "walking" again, and it was beginning to bug me that the hall was always curving to the right. At the same time, I was feeling sure a disembodied someone was standing behind my right shoulder. I'd occasionally open my eyes and look just to satisfy myself that it was part of the trip. But as I became more annoyed that the hall curved in just one direction, I wondered if that meant I was having a bad trip. Sure enough, this thought turned in on itself and I was suddenly having my first (semi-)bad trip! If I were with a friend, I'm sure a kind word would've stopped it, but I was alone.

I decided, "I've lost interest in this trip." It occurred to me that instead of wasting a half day doing this I should be with my family. Time on earth is precious and not to be wasted, which is just what I was doing. I put on a cd to relax, but it seemed then that the music wasn't really good. The musicians were just trying to make it _seem_ good. It made sense at the time! I shut off the stereo and then housework seemed like a good idea. I tried to wash dishes; after breaking some, I realized it wasn't a very good idea. So, I put clothes from the washer into the dryer and started it. I'd guess I then had to recheck three times whether or not I had done this because I couldn't remember if I planned to put them in the dryer or had actually done so. That's when I decided not to do laundry either. It came to my mind that the dehumidifier in the basement had better be checked. And - this still amazes me - it was stuck in the 'on' position. It took me a few minutes to remember how to shut it off, which bugged me to no end (that I couldn't figure it out).

All the confusion in trying to do ordinary things made me sure I had permanently messed up my mind. I turned on the tv and a bricklayer was on Sesame Street. I envied him because I thought, 'What a simple job, and he does it so well and without any worry or doubt. I'll never be like that again.' I was absolutely certain I had fried my brain. But I figured I'll make the best of it, and switched on CNN to see how well I could comprehend things. A guy with a heavy German accent was speaking. As I looked, I thought I noticed that his skin was not fully attached to his skull. No sooner did I think it, then his skin was flapping a good inch or so off his skull as he spoke. It scared me good! But at another level I was relieved because I knew I was still tripping and might not be permanently damaged after all.

I went to get a shower since I was pretty sweaty after all this, and in the mirror saw myself standing naked. All at once it hit me that I'm just a hairy ape on earth, absolutely no different from any other animal. Maybe dumber because I only just realized it. In the shower, I washed my hair and was grossed out again because I could feel my scalp sliding over my skull as I washed it. I also wondered why I came "here" because it was so nice and care-free "there." It made perfect sense to me then that the body wasn't me, and that I was just on earth for a visit or school or something. I was wondering when I'd be done, because I missed all the light. (No, I don't know what I was thinking about! The thoughts seemed perfectly normal then.) I was also amazed that people are content with artificial light that has no life in it.

After the shower, I flipped to Cartoon Network, which was just what I needed to lighten the mood. Then I went to VH-1. They have this filler video of bubbles blurping and glurping up to the surface of the screen. Still tripping, the bubbles seemed to be coming right out of the tv. I thought this was the coolest thing. So, while it wasn't a trip to hell, it was a super high anxiety trip that was a real downer at the time. I went to my parents for dinner that night, and it hit me that the trip taught me some new things and I was happy about it after all. Still, I couldn't bring myself to trip for a good 8 months afterwards. So, from ingestion to last effects, it was about 5 hours.

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