Going Mad

This was my 5th time tripping. It was a Sunday and I had a fat 1/8th of caps, stems and a bunch of powder. I was going on a solo mission (tripping alone) and I did. I ate the bag on an empty stomach and parked in the wilderness and it had snowed the night before. I ingested at 2:30pm and by 2:43 I was already feeling the trip. It was awesome at first. I had dope music, things to keep me occupied and drawing materials. I got caught looking outside alot and the landscapes started to change on me. I began to freak out. I did start to panic and bring myself back to reality but to no avail. I was beginning to get scared but I was still calm. Amazingly I was able to control myself and held it together. At about 3:00 my trip became all mental. I was fighting every thought I had. Then I decided to drive home. Luckily I made it there and was peaking as I walked in the door. I walked into my bed and layed down and tried to keep sane. That was making it worse, I was watching my clock only waiting for time to go faster. I was seriously living inside each minute on my clock. Around 4:00 my mind got the best of me. I felt as if I was about to die. If I fell alseep then I really would. I kept telling myself I'm okay, I'm just tripping. I kept getting up and laying back down, because I was having a massive memory lapse about the day. I had the same memories over and over again of the last 2 hours. My body started to go numb and I thought I was dead, as if I was living my last wishes in my room. It was now 5 and I was still freaking out and i was hearing my heart which scared me. All the sounds in my house were going faster than normal, making it almost impossible to understand what was happening. I kept fighting myself to stay awake. For in my head I was always telling myself "this isn't real, I am only tripping". After that went on I got up and started making a list of just random things. After I finished my list I began coming down. I love tripping, I can't wait to do it again.