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God and a Bear

This New Year's Eve, some friends and I decided to forego the usual drinking our asses off and take some shrooms instead.



This New Year's Eve, some friends and I decided to forego the usual drinking our asses off and take some shrooms instead. I had only done then once before, and I barely got level 1. Everything was dark, and I got really scared, so I retreated into my head, and later fell asleep. Since that time was bad, I was a bit apprehensive this time, but I thought, hey, what the hell. I brought a teddy bear to focus on in case I started to go bad, but luckily it never came to that. On to the report. Me and my friends James and Anne get to Dan's house at around 11:30. By the time we're done divvying up the shrooms and blending them with the OJ, we've completely missed midnight. We mutter a "Happy New Year" to each other and get to chuggin. Everything goes down fine and we retreat to Dan's basement. He's got a few CDs that he says are perfect for a trip, but we never get around to them, as we've got the Comedy Network on. After about 20 minutes I start to feel really good, and heavy, like a really good weed high. Shortly after that I take a glance over at the lit Christmas tree, and the branches are writhing, and the strings of beads are sliding all over. "Cool," I think, as I start to spin my Koosh ball. Eventually Ellen Cleghorne comes on the TV, and I'm forced to get up, as Dan is face down on the floor (where he would remain for a good 3 hours), Anne is lying on the couch, and James is in the corner crying about his dying beaver. I try to put in the Pokemon movie, but the VCR's not working (I think it was unplugged, but I was in no condition to fix it then). I decide that sitting on the floor is the best idea, so I do. As I sit, I slowly start to gather things from around me. My "Big Pile of Shit" (as James referred to it) consisted of a stuffed Taz, a teddy bear, (not mine, as Anne had it) James' backpack, some talking Pokemon toys, my Koosh ball, (henceforth referred to as "God") my watch, and a small foam ball. As I'm rocking back and forth in front of the TV (occasionally obstructing Anne's view, as she was quick to point out) and lamenting the fact that I may be evil, I notice that Dan's cat Norm has come down. Which is odd, considering we locked him upstairs. Then I hear footsteps behind me and I realize that Dan's dad has come home. "Shit," I think, and stop mumbling incoherently. Dan's dad pokes him with a toe, laughs at the TV, then goes upstairs. "Thank God," I think, looking at the Koosh. I then start playing with Norm, who was biting Dan in the arm. Then Norm starts biting me! I start to get scared then, and stand up, losing my "Big Pile of Shit" in the process (I saved God and my watch). Anne sees my distress and gives me my bear, which along with God and my watch never leaves my arms the rest of the night. I thank her and sit in the corner which James has recently vacated. The writhing tree is bothering me now, however Dan's camoflague-type shirt is pretty cool. I've managed to evade Norm, but now I've noticed that James, with a hood on, looks very evil. (For some reason I only saw the red light on his face, and the green on Norm) I made the mistake of telling him this, and he spends the rest of the night looking at me and freaking me out. By now Mark Curry is on with his new gameshow, but I'm not paying much attention, as I'm too concerned about Norm eating me and James being evil. Eventually my bladder gets to me, and I decide to go to the bathroom. However, the bathroom is upstairs past a dark stairwell. I take one look and decide I can't handle it, I can pee later. I sit back down and watch Sean Cullen, who has started to melt. After what seems like forever (but was only an hour) Sean Cullen is over, which is when Dan decides to get up. He's mumbling about how he thinks he had sex with Anne, how he thinks his parents are dead, and how he threw up and pissed his pants, which he didn't. He then gets up and turns off the lights and the TV. In the darkness, I once again retreat into my head, with the need to check my watch constantly. As my thoughts speed through my head, I realize I've lost all sense of time. I hear James' Discman in the corner, and he talks to me occasionally to see how I'm doing. After about an hour, (I think) James gets up and turns the TV back on. We watch Tom Stade for a bit and eat some chips, until I decide that I've brave enough to handle the stairs. I go up, do my business, and notice that my eyes are really bloodshot, which sort of explains the headache. I go back downstairs and try to go to sleep, but I'm still a bit high, and my head is killing me. Once this idiotic mime comes on TV, Anne wakes up and wonders why we'd watch that shit. We see her point and turn off the TV. I still can't sleep, so I just sit with God and my bear until James and Anne decide to go home. I hitch a ride, take some Advil, and hit the sack, at 9 am. Despite the severe pain, I'd say that was well worth my $25, and a nice change for New Year's.

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