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first trip, all alone.

my first time doing mushrooms was pretty intense.

my first time doing mushrooms was pretty intense. i had never done mushrooms before and had been wanting to try them, although a little bit worried about a "bad" trip, i cleared my mind of that thought and purchased sixty dollars worth.(not sure what kind they were) i wasnt supposed to be tripping alone, my stepbrother who i shouldnt have trusted told me he would come back to the house in a few hours, so i should take them at a quarter to ten. i followed his instructions which were, take two caps and three stems, now the caps we bought were pretty big, the ones i ate were about the size of a fifty cent piece, and the were heavily blueing, which i thought was mold, but i took the caps and ate three stems, two big ones and one little guy. i waited in our garage which was converted into a room and was pretty seperate from the rest of the house, which was good because my parents were in bed, on the other side. i at for about forty five minutes waiting for them to kick in when i realized that our rainbow carpet was really funny and was rolling like water, i knew they had hit me now and braced myself, not knowing what to expect. i kept sitting there and felt like a single object apart from the room, and my breathing became faster and i could hear my lungs inflating, which was cool but then it started to get intense and the fact that no one was out there with me was scaring me, so i went to find my younger stepbro who was on the computer and asked him to call casey, my older stepbro who was supposed to be here by now.while dustin called i noticed that the house seemed to be blowing in the wind and it felt very dark and creepy, plus casey wasnt answering his phone so i got scared, tried to brush it off and went back to the garage and sat down, but couldnt sit still, i kept looking around the room and saw the corners in the ceiling blending together, i was started to lose control of the high and realized that which made it worse and then i did the worst thing possible and wanted it to end so i tried to sleep it off. when i layed down and crawled into my sleeping bag i felt extremely hot and my heart was beating extremely fast, but i really thought i could sleep it off, so as i closed my eyes i realized that my brain was on turbo and i couldnt stop thinking, thats when the rolling field of fully 3 dimensional peacock feathers appeared in the back of my head and they kept multiplying into a never ending field, which i couldnt handle, and when i opened my eyes i felt shaky and thought this was never going to end, i started to think i was going crazy and what i could do about that before the rest of the people in the house found out and put me in a mental institution, i freaked out thinking about that and could only remember the scene in requiem for a dream where sara goldfarb is being electro shock treated and i realized that that would be the only way to cure me. after contemplating suicide rather than an insane asylum and thinking about all the people that would hate me for doing mushrooms and killing myself i decided i should try and call casey so he would know what he did, i was having a hard time walking and everything seemed to be in slow motion, i told my younger stepbro to call casey again and he wouldnt because he was chatting on aim and didnt want to get off, i thought i would have to punch him in the face, he is 13 i am 18 but i believed it to be the only way, and thats when the nasuea kicked in and i thought i was overdosing and was gonna die, so i sat over the sink as cold air and dry sweats poured over me waiting for my stepbro to call casey. this i s getting really long but after i finally got a hold of casey i felt ten times better because he assured me everything was fine he had the same stuff happen to him when he did them and gave me a number to call because he was done talking to me, hes a dick by the way, and so i caled the number and it was one of his old girlfriends who had done mushrooms before a few times and she helped me out. i called several people and some of them scared me so i tried to squish the phone in my hand which obviously didnt work. thats when i saw ants on the floor and realized that they were just as important as me and that i needed to respect them, i could see every detail on them like looking through a magnifying glass, i could see their eyes, hair and teeth, i wanted to talk with them but sta and watched instead.the end.

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