First time, alone.

I wanted to get some mushroom for a long time, but finally this summer i was able to obtain some. I bought quite a few, and the person i got them from cautioned me that they were strong and i shouldn't take too many. I dosed out 2.8g for this first time. I did them in the morning after i woke up around nine. It was nice to have a day to do no work or anything. So i munched them (they're dried) down plain, and on my last couple i decided to go the fridge to get a glass of OJ to wash them down.

Anyways, i hadn't eaten since the night before, so these kicked in after about 45 mins. It was my first time, and I couldn't tell what were placebo effects and what were not for the first 30 mins. So i chatted away on MSN, and I noticed that the background on my desktop started to shift back and forth. After the convos i was in eneded, i turned to look at my wall.

At this point, I don't know what music i had on, but as the room was changing shape, I kept myself entertained as I watched the wallpaper start to dance to the music. The wallpaper didn't move too much or come at me, but the patterns were moving around quite alot and were moving to the music. Nothing changed for what I think was about 1/2 an hour (i looked at the clock occasionally) - i just watched the wallpaper dance as sat thinking.

All of a sudden, the crisscross pattern in my wallpaper started to turn an angry red, and bent out as though the wall were about to burst. I sat in my chair, still just enjoying the show, when all of a sudden I wondered what the closed-eye visuals would be like - but for some reason I was very very reluctant to move or close my eyes. I remember that the music I otherwise listen to was not at all pleasant (i tried REM, Planes Mistaken for Stars, Fugazi, Radiohead), and was making me uncomfortable. I put on Moby's "I Like to Score", and then I had to force myself to close my eyes, but it was pleasent once I did.

I was greeted with amazing and beautiful shapes. I eneded up staying with my eyes closed listening to that moby, and later some "Waterbone - Tibet" for the rest of the trip. The music started to make me cry like a baby, although not of sadness - I was just amazed with the beauty of the music. I could see the music in my visuals; there were no defined shapes, but the colors and shapes took the form of the music, and I could see every up and down in the music.

I remember that every time a song ended/faded-out, I was very upset, but as soon as the next song started I was fine. I sat thinking about life, and all my relationships with people. I kept thinking of how disconnected people are in day-to-day life, and that all the material goods we have don't do anything to make us happy, and we need to appreciate each other and be closer to one another in everyday life. The faces of people i know kept flashing at me, but made me so happy i smiled and cried more.

I thought about death, but it didn't make me sad at all. I thought about how amazing the universise is, that it is amazing to be alive, and that there is nothing we can do about death but accept it, and the universe will take care of us.

The one thing i remember most is this vision that happened when there was alot of bass in a song, and it was of a man standing on top of a tree banging a drum, with bass that just shook the whole world, and went right through my entire body. I thought that it was like this man was declaring his power to the world - not at all in an angry way, but his bass shook the world and united it.

I kept thinking about the people in my life, and the visuals started to fade in intensity (eyes were still closed, i was just too happy to open them). At this point, it's about 3 hours after ingesting the mushroom. I finally opened my eyes, and stared out the window for about an hour. I was coming back to reality, but i just kept thinking whatever I was thinking and staring at the trees outside my window.

A few times coming down, i had about 1/2 a second of PURE PANIC. The most panic i've ever felt in my life. But each time, it passed really quickly, and i tried to forget it. I sat staring for a while longer, then began to chat with friends over MSN. Now i'm fully back to reality, although my stomach feels a tad strange.

Overall, I would say it was a great experience. I stayed on my computer chair, curled up the whole time, but I was so happy I didn't want to move. I think keeping my eyes closed and listening to music made for a great trip. A few times I started to think negative thoughts of my life, but through all my reading of this site I was able to just move on to the next thought, and reminded myself that "in a few hours, i'll be alright." One closed eye visual was a monster coming to eat my head, but I was able to keep smiling and kept thinking that it wasn't real.

Quite a first experience. To whoever is thinking of doing them, you're on the right track be reading the shroomery, make sure you take the advice of people here - they're not kidding that you have to move on when you hit a negative thought =) Other than that, it'll be a good experience. Peace.