I will start off saying that I have tripped some 20 times before this.
I will start off saying that I have tripped some 20 times before this. The last trip I had before this one, my pancreas became inflamed and I had to go to hospital which caused my paranoia this time round.
Anyway I got home from searching the paddoc with my mate. We didn't get much at all and doubted we would be feeling much with splitting what we had between the 2 of us (and fuck we were wrong). We boiled up what we had, drank a cup each the re boiled to get the most out of them.
We decided to watch something on tv whle we were waiting to come up. About 20 mins later I knew we were going to have an intense trip because i started feeling a bit distant and things started to form a layer over the top making everything look really dreamy, like it typically does.
I had the nausea I usually have when shrooming but worse than usual. I just sat uncomfortably waiting for it to pass. It had bee longer than I had had to wait any other time and I still felt like shit. I started to worry that my pancreas was going to fuck up again like last time I had had shrooms.
I went to a bed to lie down for a while hoping I could just concentrate on the visuals which had gotten quite strong! I felt really really cold though and my mates didn't notice this at all. I had a thick blanket on me and I was fully clothed in long pants and a jumper.
But I had started to slightly enjoy the trip just conentrating on all the shit I was seeing. However my stomach hadn't improved at all, and this would have been around an hour and a half after comming up.
I went back out to watch tv with my mate, bringing the thick blanket with me cause I was still so friggen cold. I watched for a couple of mins but the noise just got to me so I just closed my eyes once again to see the kaliedascope of colors and patterns, sometimes bringing strong emotions.
Now this is about 2 and a half hours after comming up, my stomach is still killing me and im still worried as fuck that something has gone wrong again, at this stage almost certain I was going to have another trip to the hospital.
I was talking to my friend about what I should do and ofcourse he was tripping just as much as me, but ofcourse he wouldnt know what to do or say. I lifted up my shirt to see if i could tell if anything was swolen from the outside, and I saw the whole fucking left side of my rib cage and below it just popping up like it waas ridicously inflamed. I kept lifting it up and looking. I showed my friend and he told me it all looked normal to him. But I still wasnt sure and kept trying to do anything to prove to myself that I was ok, despite the fact that I hadn't improved at all.
I went back to lie down and there was a cartoon going in my head. I watched along and laughed at how crazy shit was getting especially from such a small amount. Soon enough I was dieing to escape the trip. I wanted to be straight so I could truly tell if i was ok or not, but i couldn't. I couldnt escape from my mind, I close my eyes and everything is still happening, and really intense. I would have given anything just to see the backs of my eyelids. And to be able to judge things without a confused clouded mind.
But eventually I started to come down, the nausea lasted right till the end, till I wasnt feeling different in any way. I am unsure why I had such bad nausea and my friend was fine, it could be psycological or maybe related to damage that may have been caused when my pancreas was badly inflamed.
I still havent touched mushrooms since this day, but I definately will, because they have done so much for me and are just the perfect thing for me. Even this bad trip significantly changed my life for the better. It really has helped me appreciate life being under the unfluence of nothing, and how good it is just to be here, healthy, and happy (you choose wether you are happy or sad, you have control over this - something I have learned from previous trips).