First experience

This was my first experience with any sort of illicit substance whatsoever.

I started my grow a few weeks ago, but being impatient, I stopped in east Texas on my way to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. I found an ample handful of cubensis in about five minutes of searching. Pressed for time, I took what I decided I had enough and set back out on the road to Mardi Gras.

The day after Fat Tuesday (Ash Wednesday) I decided I was ready to try the mushrooms. I had dried them for about 6 hours, just to reduce their overall volume. I tasted one and was surprised after hearing about how badly cubensis tasted, that I actually liked the flavor. Eating partially dried mushrooms was a bit difficult, despite the pleasing taste, so I cut them finely and mixed them into a glass of orange juice. Stupidly, I have no idea as to the size of the dose I took. I hadn't eaten anything that day other than a bowl of cereal that morning.

I was relatively alone in the house, one room mate was sleeping, the other out. It was midnight when I ingested the mushrooms.

My mindset wasn't the best at the time. I was distressed a bit after seeing the state of New Orleans and something about seeing thirty or so girls flash me the night before bothered me. I was missing my exgirlfriend and a bit disillusioned with mankind in general.

Immediately after taking the mushrooms, I began worrying about whether or not I had ID'd them properly, but about thirty minutes later they began to take effect. I felt a sense of well-being. I laughed for no reason. The worry about the ID'ing of the mushrooms faded at this point, after realizing they were working.

I surfed the internet for a while and got bored quickly. I realized I was singing the same line from a song for about ten minutes and tapping a beat out on the desk. I got up and walked past an open door and felt afraid of what could be out there in the dark and closed it.

I sat down and watched television and was lost in my own thoughts. I began to feel a bit tired and decided to lay down. I closed my eyes, almost immediately, I felt as though fireworks were exploding inside of my head. I could feel it throughout my entire body. It was very intense and very gripping. My body began to tense up and I would involuntarily "gush" with laughter. The feeling was incredible. The sensations from my limbs were pleasant.

I was under a blanket at this time. My left arm felt wet and seemed to be seperate from my body. I realized that my left arm was uncovered and the sensation of being cold was being interpreted as being wet. I was amazed. At this point, my mind was racing yet I seemed to be having two experiences at the same time. Part of me was totally into the trip, and another part seemed to guide myself through it. These two personalities were communicating, one reassuring the other.

I began to see closed eye hallucinations. I saw geometric patterns, faces, whole bodies, other people. I was very happy at this time, then things began to go a bit badly.

I opened my eyes and was entranced by the patterns the carpet fibers formed. The seemed to shift and change. Then I began to see faces. I saw a woman's form and decided it must be my exgirlfriend's. It made me happy at first, but then I saw her having sex with some invisible person. I cried a bit. I told myself it was okay, that it wasn't really happening.

A bit of backstory on my love life: My exgirlfriend and I had been working things out for about a year when out of nowhere she announced she was marrying someone else. We had been in a three year relationship before we broke up.

Once I was convinced that I was only hallucinating, other visions began to come. The fibers turned into maggots. It wasn't disgusting or disturbing. They seemed friendly. They all wanted to talk to me, but were incapable of speech. I could feel that they were wishing me well and wanted to touch them. When I did, the vision ended and they were just carpet fibers again.

I closed my eyes again, hoping the exploding and joyous rushing sensations would return and they did for a bit. When they stopped, I looked at the television and away again. I continued to see the person I had just seen when I looked away and when I closed my eyes. He moved his arms and tried to speek, but couldn't.

I thought a lot about my childhood, about the toys I played with, my parents, my entire upbringing. I could not only remember the feelings I had when I thought about certain events, but I could feel them as well, just as intensely as I had when the event occured. I thought about my exgirlfriend, how we met, the first time we made love, the first time we told each other that we loved one another, and even our break up. I felt all of those emotions again.

I realized that she had become a part of me, whether I wanted it or not. Her expectations of me will continue to define me in part. The things I decided I wanted to have with her, I will always want. The love I had for her would always remain the same.

I became very tired and decided to sleep.

The entire experience lasted about four hours. I was never nauseus. All in all, I would say it was a very pleasant experience and I look forword to doing it again and increasing the amount I take.