First (real) visit

Before I begin, I'm really not sure what level this would be, so someone just correct me if I'm wrong.

Before this trip, I had eaten some shrooms once before, but it was a very small amount, and I also smoked a lot of weed that day. I don't think I really got the effects that time so I discounted it as my first trip.

This time, I went in with a much larger dosage, and a mission: to pass into the psychedelic world of my own accord and record it. Kind of Terrence Mckenna's "heroic dose" style, except not nearly as high a dosage. So, I obtained 2 grams (according to the friend who got me them, some of the best shrooms he's ever had), though I'm pretty sure it ended up being more, and sat down one night at home once my mom had gone to sleep to begin my journey into the heart of the universe.

I started off eating half of what I had, I figured I'd take things slow and could always eat more later. I chewed it thoroughly (luckily I enjoy mushrooms, so it wasn't too bad) then sat down at my computer with trusty MSN open. All I remember feeling was both incredibly excitement, and that paranoia creeping up the back of my spine. I opened up Livejournal, which I set up to record trips, and wrote up the entry.

Note: I'm using the record I made there to fill in most of the blanks about this trip.

About 15 minutes after ingestion, I was feeling very relaxed, but the only real change in my state was audio. I remember hearing this buzz in my right ear whenever I hit the spacebar. I chilled out for a little while longer, then as the effects were becoming apparant, I took the other half of the shrooms, and settled back down to record and talk to some friends.

It was at this point that I knew the shrooms would work, and I may have done too much. I was really jumpy with excitement, so I lay down on the couch for a moment to calm down. The tv wasn't making any sense, but I wasn't paying attention anyways. A couple of things were moving, and the ceiling was looking an awful lot like the ocean, rippling with waves. I headed downstairs to the basement in order to compose myself, but I burst out laughing for no apparent reason. It was the weirdest feeling on earth, it seemed exactly like a sneeze. There wasn't anything funny to laugh at, but I couldn't restrain myself from laughing.

With that out of my system, I head back up to the computer room, and I spent the next like hour slipping further and further down. My vision was completely alive, there was movement everywhere. I spent awhile just experimenting with my different senses, recording, and talking to people via msn. Colours were swirling around everywhere, The visible colour spectrum of the lamp went from red to yellow to blue, and through all kinds of colours I can't remember, tinting my vision and constantly changing, like sunglasses. I remember just sitting there and staring, while things morphed, like my hair (which is long and hung in my peripheral vision) turned into the static of a dead tv channel. Hint: listen to infected mushrooms, a techno band. A friend sent me a song, and when the synths came in it felt like my head was hurtled forward at lightspeed, ending in my head landing on the desk. If you want to know more about my random hallucinations and shit, read the actual trip log, at http://ruggo.livejournal.com/ (trip log 01)

As time went on, the shrooms were rapidly gaining control of me. I felt like I was slipping through the door or something. It felt like the individual pieces were coming together, and lines were beginning to blur. I started off just paying attention to the visuals, or the audio effects or whatever, but like an hour and a half- 2 hours into the trip, the line was blurring between these. The senses were becoming unified, as I stopped caring about the little insignificant things. They were overwhelming me. My mind was working like a machine gun, ideas grew into other ideas, morphed, then grew again to encompass something else. I felt as if I had finally torn away the barrier that seperates us from the universe, and while I couldn't see it as it really was yet, I was getting closer to that dream.

Again, refer to my trip report for more in depth details.

Eventually, I was feeling completely gone. I was losing touch with reality. At one point the walls of my vision were growing black, followed by stars appearing in that blackness, and I, over exaggerating, said I saw the universe in myself. My hands ceased being part of my body, and the computer screen, I don't know what exactly happened there, but I somehow got the impression the monitor contained a whole other world. My friend made me really paranoid though. He had the same font and colour as me, and I couldn't remember who was who. In the back of my head, I suddenly saw it as a mirror. He was a reflection of a reflection of me, then the mirrors just kept going. I was watching this long pattern of mirrors all growing out of each other. He finally changed his font colour, and the mirrors snapped back, with one remaining, containing him rather than myself. It was all in my head, but that was some of the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen. I looked at the conversation the next day and it made so little sense. I suddenly yelled out at one point “DUDE! It was WHITE!”

The paranoia began growing and I figured I oughta go up to my room, stop making noise. So, I did so, turning my light off, getting into bed, and listening to music while looking at trippy artwork I have on my MP3 player. Bad idea, very bad idea. The music was excellent, Neurosis at first followed by Pink Floyd, and each picture morphed and became real, but the lights, horrible idea turning them off. After awhile I just lay down listening to the music, and my grip on reality was fading. When I moved my hands, I had no clue what they were touching, and with no lights to see anything I didn’t know what was going on in my head or what was actually happening. I started freaking out a little, and time was moving so slowly, I wanted it to go faster and be over with, as I felt like I was losing my sanity. After a short while of this slight panic, I calmed down and reorganized the situation. I decided I would just listen to Meddle (pink floyd album) and just pay attention to it, wait until it was finished. But I couldn’t concentrate on it, my mind drifted god knows where. Eventually, I realized I would have to do something, despite the risk. So I got up, went to the washroom, turned on the light in my room, and I was suddenly back to reality.
Right about there I finally calmed down and the trip became way less intense. I pulled out a notebook and start to write and draw, ideas were flowing to me for a good hour as I kept adding to the picture. At this point, the trip was pretty much over, and I felt good, like I had passed through this experience safely, on my own strength, completing my goal. I reaccepted the world and was ready for a positive change in my person.

I eventually got about 2 hours of sleep, but when I was up, I was completely refreshed. I felt the best I had ever felt, and the world seemed so much more real, like this fine mesh we all view life through was finally wiped clean. I felt much more in tune with nature, and felt good knowing what I knew now about the world. Explosions in the sky put my feeling then perfectly, “The Earth is not a cold dead place,” and that knowledge has given me comfort ever since.

By now, the mesh is back, so I’m hoping for another excursion into the universe sometime soon. Sorry about the long report, and again you can go to my trip log for a much more detailed writing, done during the trip.

Oh, and for the record, I'm a very skinny 16 year old male