Accidental astronaut APE dose

Accidental astronaut mushroom dose

For context I’m pretty short. Weight between 115 and 130 lbs. I have done mushrooms before but it’s been over a year since the last time I did them. 

My room mate managed to get ahold of some APE.   

 Never done it before so I was planning to do a gram at most to test the ground as I heard these were pretty potent and i never did high doses anyway.

It was in a little bag and I wasn’t sure how much it came with but He told me he did between 2 and 3 grams of it. So I get it out and weigh it and nothing comes up on the scale. The scale couldn’t detect below a gram so we couldn’t gauge exactly but knew about how much we would be taking. I was confused so I reshuffled the mushrooms several times to make sure it wasn’t a center of gravity thing. Took them off and put them back on etc. finally I used a nickel and the nickel came up “4grams” 

So I assumed the bag came with 3.5 grams and my friend did between 2-3 leaving me with an ambiguous less than a gram left.

So I ground it up, made some tea and sat down with music and other preparations. Once I turned it into a powder I did think it was a little too much (I had never ground or really prepared it myself before so no real point of reference.) but I was like whatever and started sipping.

Maybe thirty minutes pass and I start feeling it. It’s slightly slow at first. Then boom. The bottom just fell out, my brain scrambled. Had to go lay down. After that is a blur. Just a cacophony of mixed memories. I instantly experienced ego death and remained that way for about 4 hours straight. It is too chaotic and jumbled so all I can really do is list out the things I remember. 

It felt like I was made to experience every experience possible simultaneously. I remember cycling through different emotions, places, feelings and thoughts so blindingly fast. It felt like my consciousness was a plasmic film being stretched to every corner of the universe. 

I would go back and forth between having ego death, then having clarity and tricking myself into thinking I’m coming down, then death again. Def contemplated if I was real or if anything was real, I also remember, wondering if I was dead, wondering if this was what quantum immortality was like. I ran through so many experiences. I remember feeling like I was turning into plastic? Or balloon’s? I remember being in  meat hellverse, I remember experiencing complete euphoria. I would just constantly swap between these states. And it would happen so fast I genuinely felt like I was in agony and ecstasy simultaneously. I felt like entities were watching and “toying” with me, but not out of malice,like it was just how they were. Like they would stretch and mold me. I would swap between this being  good or bad thing. But other times I also felt “there’s no one watching at all”  

I remember thinking about all the bad things I’ve done and all the good thing I’ve done. I remember thinking I love my parents over and over. I remember getting caught in some logic loop. I don’t remember what it was, but I felt like I permanently broke my view of reality and coming down wouldn’t save me. I just sat and rocked while repeating “I’m stuck in a contradiction” over and over. I remember my music occasionally brining me clarity. I remembering being scared of not having control of my body. Scared of doing or saying something I would regret. But I also would feel an overwhelming sense that there was a safety net preventing that from happening.

I just remember this happening for hours, would look at my clock thinking it had been hours but it had been minutes. Other time thinking it had been minutes when it was hours. I was in and out of “consciousness” but it’s more like I was in and out of my mind being completely scrambled.

I took them around 8 pm and finally around 12 or 1  

I started to come down. I don’t really remember to well. Around the end I just wanted to sleep so I was in and out of sleep during the comedown period. But I do remember the comedown being closer to a normal trip rather than a come down section. Still heavy visual effects.  

   

Ultimately, I didn’t hate it. But I also didn’t love it. I’m just so neutral it’s bizarre. Really strange experience.  

Definitely felt Schizo tho I don’t recommend.  

I remembering thinking at one point that I made some realization that was gonna break my perception of reality permanently and wondering if this is how schizophrenic people felt.

When I woke up the next day the first thing i texted my friend was “what the fuck was that.”   

I knew I was smaller than most and I knew these mushroom were potent. But what the fuck? I was scared to do them again. Thought if that little did that much to me is there a safe dose I can even take?

Then last night I was talking to my friend about it. Turns out that bag didn’t have 3.5 grams in it. It has closer to 8. Meaning for some reason his scale didn’t work and I took about 5 grams of APE. I was genuinely so in shock I was just floored. I can’t believe i did that. I never even planned to do 5 grams of something like golden teacher. But I just did the possible equivalent of 8-10 grams of mushrooms. The most I’d ever done before was 1.5 grams of golden teacher.

But in hindsight, honestly not that bad. I was a little relieved when I found out because now I understood what happened and kinda can’t believe I just tanked that.