Last night i experienced one of the most intence and profound temporary changes in consciousness ever. I decided to trip alone as i found it much more insightful. I ingested 1.5 grams of psilocybe subareginousa. Our local species of sacred bread here in Melbourne. I had been in a composed, calm frame of mind for the whole day so i thought it would be the perfect time to experience these shrooms. I cleaned my room and prepared my tripspace. I ingested the shrooms at around 11:10pm and continued to mess around on the internet talking to some friends before i began to feel the first waves of euphoria at around 11:36.
At this time i left the computer and retired to my tripspace and lit some insence. I enjoy meditating as the first waves of magic begin to take over my body. I was beginning to see slight closed eye patterns and objects. They were made up of blues, greens, and reds. Surprisingly the same colours used in combination to make up the picture on a tube TV. The waves began to come on strong and i experienced slight sickness in the stomach however i managed to keep it down and it went away and i knew it had been digested after i had a big shroom burp :P After this the sickness disapeared and i sat back and enjoyed.
The closed eye patterning become quite intense and i began to see many open eye patterns too. My body started to get quite numb and i closed my eyes. Something was building up in my body. It was scary and i couldnt get the thought of having a seizure out of my mind. I was falling head first into the devils hands i was looking straight at fear itself. It was glorious. I thought to myself.. i cant look away. Fear was represented by red in my minds eye. The more i looked at it the more intense the pressure began. I wanted to keep looking at it to see if there was a critical mass. However this time i didnt have the nerve to do it. i looked away and fear left me. I wonder what would have happened if i kept looking? Maybe next time.
After i got over this initial feeling of fear and madness i settled down and started listening to some shpongle. There music is amazing to trip to and it guided my trip perfectly. It was as if ever beat was totally in tune with the happenings in my cranium. The closed eye patterns were beautiful with visions of the forest, running water, tranquility. A great sadness filled me when i began to compare this to the commercialised capitalist world we live in. Visions of tiny little mysterious creatures were everywhere, jumping and playing together. I saw rows and rows of skulls fly by. The skulls made up different combinations of shapes and patterns. Many plants and mushrooms began appearing before me. Vallys of mushrooms exposing their myceal networks which draw energy from the centre of the earth. I turned the music off at this point for awile and my mind began to tune into the sounds of the universe. I was tuning into sounds from the stars. Radio frequences from distant civilisations speaking with other tongues. Their language was complex and mind blowing. Everytime i came close to desyphering it, it got more complex. I gave up trying and i was then able to tune into the minds of one of my friends. This "tuning in" was represented in my minds eye by long fiber wires that stretched for eternity. Signals and static began to flow and it gave me the feeling that i was stuck in this commuication "groove". I began to sympathise with my friend because he had tripped a few weeks before and sort of freaked out and i understood why. When faced with the drab, hollow, shallow and the spirtually unsubstancial framework of "reality", this mushroom world is such a contrast that it deeply saddens you.
I began to break away from this inter-stellar and inter-consciousness form of commuication and i began to listed to music again. There were eyes everywhere. Filling up my minds eye, also when my eyes were open i began to see many many eyes decend upon me. From all directions comming out of the wall. These eyes were surrounded by a halo of beautiful rainbows. The colours were so perfect they made plasma tv look like a complete joke. The complexity and colour of these visions were 3-D and were comming at me from everywhere at every conceivable angle known. One of my favorite thinkers Alan Watts explained that the universe dosnt come to use in lines of text in books or the inconclusive experience of the spoken word, but that the universe comes at as in the form of a multi-dimensional flux of information. I finally began to realise this was true. I was tasting the universe and it was awesome. I could see things in so much detail. Detail that is normally missed in school text books. The laws of physics and biology were flung open at my face and i was forced to see things AS THEY REALLY ARE. That is, in fine, intricate, perfect detail. Details we normally miss in normal waking consciousness.
At this point in time i was drifing with the flow of the universe and i began to imagine the first hominds ingesting these mushrooms and looking up at the stars and looking at the world around them and realising the harmony that exists in nature. A flow of energy ran through me and i began to feel connected to my distant ancestors. I forgot my imidiate family, cultural, religious, politital ties that usually bog us down and i came to the realisation that we all came from the same family of homind that emerged from the jungles and plains of africa 2.5 million years ago. I imagined how they felt when the first taste of psilocybin came in contact with their neurons. Evolution began there. We have become so lost in material STUFF that we have forgotten this. This moment of clarity was so rich it felt like the ultimate reality. My mind was totally devoid of chatter and phobia/anxiety. This next even may sound a little comical however this was my vision of a perfect world. In my minds eye i began to see people jumping around the forest harnessing the energy of the earth to fullfil their needs. I began to think in this funny language that most polititians dont understand. Equality, justice and equality for all. These mushrooms made me feel connected to their principals more then ever. This vision was very clear and it made me very happy.
I began to relax back down into my mindspace and enjoy random shapes and patterns appear before me. Then i lay perfectly still and i felt this coating of warm liquid surround my body, cocooning me in this warmth. It was pure momentary bliss. It was flowing all around me like a thick goo. I was unable to move and it felt like i was dead. I was totally unaware of my breathing. This feeling was like no other ive ever had. I felt so at home. I could have stayed there my whole life. i could have spent eternity there and i wouldnt have minded.. everything was just so right. I thought to myself. "so this is heaven". I was amazing. But like all good things in this world, it ended. As buddha once said Feeling and emotion are always transient. Maybe when i finally cease to exist i will experience this relm of consciousness again. But i believe for a brief period i actually ceased to exist. My body being kept alive however. Even trying to use my arms after this was impossible. They felt like giant trunks of an elephant, very ugly and combersome. I had absolutly no co-ordination. I looked at my hands and they looked like crabs claws. This shocked me a bit. Once this feeling was gone i began to wallow in the visuals again, just enjoying, devoid of the mindless chatter that goes on in our minds. Just going with the flow.
The visuals were perfectly flowing, like river. Taking me deeper and deeper into this trance. I began to imagine myself as a middle aged man. I got a very strange feeling. It felt asthough i was being ripped apart down the middle and another man was trying to get out. I heard his voice and it sounded like mine but a bit deeper. It was as if my body was just a suit with a big zip down the middle and this guy was trying to get out. He kept poking out this head and talking to me. He sounded so confident, happy, enlightened, peaceful and fearless. I realised i was sheding my own skin. I realised it was time for a change. I wanted to let the new ME out!. I could hear his voice and i had visions of him at my work and my uni, talking to people etc etc. Suddenly he jumps out and is set free.. i felt so good in knowing that i met my perfect twin. I began to feel asthough i was levitating. Lifting off my bed and flying around the room. It felt great.
It was at this point that i turned on the TV to watch some news report. Watching TV was enjoyable because the faces on tv were filled with eyes. and the image on the screen melted away everytime the camera panned left or right. The voices of the people were also distorted and ranged in pitch from high to low. It got quite scary at times. I saw images of george bush and realised how clueless this guy was to the reality of the universe. I realised his supporters were just mere puppets caught up in the hype and flashy colour they call reality. Dont you get is? There is no constant reality. Reality is an illusion. Everyone is so complex and different that there is no benchmark reality can be measured in. It is purely subjective and we strive to turn everything into carefully considered object. The universe is so random and unpredicatable that it is impossible to tame by turning everything into object. We all have our individual concept of reality. We can only perceive life through what we see in out own heads. We cannot experience life through the eyes of someone else in normal waking consciousness. But during this mushroom trip i was able to tap into the universal consciousness. The only sure thing in this universe. I felt a part of everything and everyone, i felt connected to every atom and every particle in existance. This is the the true reality.
The trip from here on in turned a bit scary. My thoughts began to decend into a hellish nightmare. I began to feel very uneasy and tempremental. I couldnt stop tossing and turning and i started to here strange noises and began to feel quite confused. I was looking strangely all around the room and it felt like i was going mad. I was able to keep myself composed. What caused this? I began think that this was how it felt to be psychotic. The outer world was just so confussing and forigen that a psychotic person would have a nightmare decyphering all its complexity. The beauty of this inner world was just so much more. I began to contemplate the cause of psychosis and i realised this might be the key. Psychotic people are stuck in this inner world, with no bridge of communication with the drab inhospitable wasteland of normal waking consciousness. I was still able to see that bridge and i began to understand why psychadelics were used by doctors to understand the nature of psychosis. This was very effective. Strange demons and creatures appeared before me as i tried to fall asleep. I managed to fall asleep as the strange music that played in my head too over. Complex tunes filled my mind. the music calmed me down and i finally fell asleep.
The whole experience lasted about 4 hours and i was amazed at the power of this substance. I think in the right mindframe psilocybin can give someone extreamly powerful insights into the nature of the universe. I now respect it fully as i never thought it was capable of such power. I am definatly a changed person. Last night definatly changed me for the better and i hope other people learn how to successfully harness the power of this substance and use it wisely for the benift of the universe.