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Complete Dissipation

I super tripped on a pretty low dose (5g) and dissipated into the entirety of existence

Date: 2/2/25

Hello, I am BoBo the Wizard. This is my first time posting here, hopefully the first of many. For context, I am a very heavy tripper. There was a time when I would consistently eat 10 grams every other day, (or sometimes every day) for months at a time. There has even been an incident where I accidentally had an oz all at once, which I might write a trip report about one day. But for some reason, this unassuming 5 grams hit me like nothing before.

The day I took these shroomies was a particularly rough day, for I had learned of some devastating news around noon that day. My friend, Chatterer the Chicken, had seized and died of unknown causes. For further context, Chatterer was NOT just a chicken. She was a dear and close friend of I and many others, and she was a part of many fantastic trips. She loved shrooms and vodka and loved to preen her pale lavender feathers. So after her passing, me and a couple friends, including Chatterer's owner, deciding to hang out to feel better and celebrate her life for an evening.

It was when we were hanging out that one of my friends offered a couple grams from their bag of penis envys. I, a shroomhead, couldn't resist. I couldn't have predicted the mind bending adventure ahead of me.

About ten minutes after eating the shrooms in a wonderful stew, my friends decided to put on fantastic planet. The trip slowly eased in under the tense, anxious atmosphere of the movie. The sounds and colors were silly and satisfying, cozy almost. But something about the piercing red eyes of the aliens and that ringing/pulsing sound they made was really getting to me. This confused me, as nothing before had really managed to distress me on shrooms except for a goodbye trip for a friend moving far away. But those eyes were fucking killing me.

I joined in the bong rotation to try to bring a sense of calm. The fact that the aliens were speaking in French killed any chance of calmness returning to me. And those eyes, which would be watching something random one second before snapping to stare at the viewer of the movie with a brain numbing beeping sound. Each time those eyes fixed on me I wanted to crawl out of my skin. My brain felt like it was a rat in a bucket, and someone was heating the bucket with a blowtorch.

This bred a rabid anxiety in me the likes of which I had never experienced before. I could not speak besides the occasional "This shits so freaky dude. What the fuck" and other mutterings along those lines. It was at this point, right around 9:00pm, that the intensity of the movie and the atmosphere of the night riled up something in the mushrooms that made them decide to take me on an absolute TRIP.

It began with a quick loss of comprehension. The movie atmosphere seemed to leak into the room, and my brain's comprehension that there was anything outside of the house dissolved. A violent storm battered the house that night, adding to the strange cacophony of sounds that filled the room.

Coughing, speaking in English, speaking in French, squeaking, thumping, beeping, screeching, squealing, tapping, laughter, screams. It all seemed to lose its distinctiveness, its fine edges and lines, melting into a thrashing sea of sound that crashed around a room colored dark crimsons and violets by the LEDs and TV screen. It was this melting of noise that began the great unravelling of everything, and nothing could stop it now. This was only worsened by the fact that my boyfriend, who lives with me and almost never leaves my side, was off dog sitting for a friend.

This usually wouldn't dishearten me much as I am a wizard who enjoys his solitude, but due to the shrooms intensity his absence was very distressing. I began to forget the room I was in was mine, almost seeming more like a hellish spaceship than a bedroom. My friend's faces became snarled and mocking, judging eyes lined with contempt loathed me endlessly, their burning hatred making the room hotter and hotter. I became trapped in the jungle of blankets that covered the bed and decided the only safe place was at the bottom of a nest of cloth and fabric. It was in this nest that the Dissipation of all that I was took place. Im not sure where it started, but somewhere there was a leak that was allowing my consciousness to escape.

This escape was accompanied by the passing of concepts through my mind, ones previously thought understood but now being rewritten before my eyes. Mortality, gone. I felt my existence beginning to stretch. Words and concepts previously abstractly understood were being assigned meaning, weight. Suddenly everything gained a weight not before perceived, a new level of intensity.

Now the unravelling was speeding up. My existence as a conscious, living animal came into perspective, the hauntingly small sliver of time I had to enjoy compared to the rest of eternity. A great, indescribable echoing of my consciousness out into the universe started up in the background and I could only watch.

It was then that the duration of eternity came into question, and for a brief moment my still ego-ridden brain questioned "why do I care?" The shrooms proceeded to show me why. My existence was no longer assigned to my physical body, it had escaped and was beginning to soak into everything. First, everything in the room. Anything my rolling eyes fell upon I became, dissipated into and could feel. This included my friends, and for some awful reason, their thoughts too. But not in solid rigidity, but in silken colors and strange sounding smoke, loud all the same. I became it, and it did not feel like I was going to return to my old body.

Then the shrooms took me further, dissipating into the entirety of Penn valley and its inhabitants. I felt it all, all the while the shrooms told me more. Told me of the conscious experience, the diverse variance of thought and self, the sewing together of ones being through time and experience.

I dissipated further, moment by moment I became and understood more of Earth. The passing of time and the way it shapes all, the evolution of the planet, the connections between everything in existence and what holds it all together. Then the ignorance of humans came into focus, the pursuit of knowledge that had grown into the greed for power, the killing of love and life and consciousness, how man's ignorance and "improvement" of a flawed system without change had brought apocalypse, and the great change coming. The mushrooms warned much of this "Great Change" to come, but did not elaborate, only warned to prepare.

And then my existence, my consciousness, stretched farther than ever before. I dissipated into the entirety of the existence, not just the galaxy or universe, but everything. I could feel it all, even everything past human's perceivable universe. I became omniscient. It was extremely overwhelming. I felt both the pain and love of everything all at once. And then it all began to bend. The mushrooms told of the glue of existence, movement. It alone is what keeps all together. Change. And the second movement, vibration, leaves something entirely, it never returns or restarts. It only dissipates.

It was then I became aware that I was the one responsible for the continuation of this movement, this life. All life and existence rested on my shoulders, and if I stumbled it would all unravel. I was existence, and it was my duty to keep existing. But I didn't know how I had been doing it. I had just existed automatically before, how could I consciously do it now?

It was like when you become aware of your breathing, so you start doing it manually. But I didn't know how to manually exist. So shrooms told me what would happen if I didn't. I could feel the great unravelling, the melting of all thought, the coagulation of energy and everything. It was so hot, the great melting of everything. It all began to condense and heat up, losing definition. All pulled apart, and I went with it. I was shattered across the cosmos, warped into nothingness and back out again, pulled like taffy, my being clay in the hands of the universe, I dispersed and began anew, from everything to nothing and everything again. I saw the end of reality, or what I thought was the end. When I reached out to touch it, I found only a mirror, and it all began anew, similar to before but different, repeating in spirals of beauty and pain and intensity to reform what I had known as "life". Slowly, the shrooms gathered my pieces and sewed them back together, rebuilding my understand and putting a new coat of pain on my consciousness.

After I was regathered, I could only sit in disbelief at what I had just experienced it, the lingering shrooms offering small trippy comforts of giggling thoughts and silly patterns almost in apology for the profoundly intense trip. And for the rest of the night I smoked with friends and processed my new perspective. It was a long night that ended with a question. What will I do with this moment?

Sorry if this came off as schizo ramblings, Im not the best at story telling and this was a very intense trip that was somewhat hard to remember. I hope you enjoyed this recounting, and I recommend everyone do mushrooms! They're awesome!! Peace and Love, BoBo out.

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