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The trip that changed my life
Sorry not psilocybin accidentally posted here but was an LSD trip
So this was last year I had ended up with a large amount of 125ug tabs , I had been taking trips regularly, me always being an all or nothing most trips were 3+ tabs. A little background info I was staying with a girl we will call her Kat, she had mentioned several times wanting to try LSD , the week before I had given her 1 tab and she said she had a very mild trip with little visuals and wanted to try more so I said , I’m doing 5 and I’ll give u 5 but if u take ‘‘em your doing all 5 too. So she did.
We were in her basement apartment of a good friend of mines house we were just hanging out I was doing some things while she was colouring a picture she had been working on for me. About 20 minutes later the effects began, she started to get some anxiety I told her just let it take you as that’s the way I trip. As we were walking up the steep basement steps , I noticed a slight shifting in the steps and that everything had taken on a distorted , slanted appearance. After what felt like 100 steps we reached the side door and went outside to the shed, as I got inside and sat on the heater she sat beside me and I realize it’s 10pm in November maybe a light sweater night and she’s got on a huge white fur coat and black sunglasses, I start laughing histarically at her along with my friend who had been in the shed working on his motorbike, we sat there laughing , smoking pot and cigarettes as she tells this hilarious story about how I will have to hold her hand to the store because she might float away. So we leave the shed it’s probably a good hour in now and when we get outside everything was distorted , morphing into ever more clear patterns as I looked closer , we got to the store about 2 blocks away in less than 3 minutes as we both were on a full blown trip now and did not like being outside and wanted to get back to the house after buying candy. I remember walking into the store , a gas station along our main road , the large clerk red faced clerk becoming ever more larger and red faced then to a orange to yellow face , to a fast cycling of colours as his figure seemed to thin then expand at rates it would take a year of intense interval training to attain that weight loss. I got our candys pop and left, as she went to the washroom. Once outside I lit a smoke looking at the passing cars the colours trailing behind them leaving colourful streaks in the night air. Right before Kats return another friend we will call A approaches from across the street as she approaches Kat come out and A starts crying and saying how sorry she was for she had heard about what happened to C (my girlfriend who I had kinda been on a small break from but who I loved dearly) I wanted A to leave and didn’t exactly understand what was said but Kat did. I quickly shooed A away and the walk back was rather quiet Kat not really saying much to me, we got back and when Kat got to the top of the stairs she looked at me and said you have to carry me there no way I’m getting down there so I make my way back up and carry her down. Once back downstairs she sits on the couch and starts to close her eyes as if sleeping, I’m way to high at this point to be by myself so I sit beside her, and for whatever reason also close my eyes. I kept asking if she was okay she would reply yes I just can’t take what I’m seeing and am more comfortable with my eyes closed , so I do the same.
This is where the trip starts to become strange, I suddenly feel like my entire head is stuck , I think behind her back but cannot seem to move. The layout of the basement is her room is in the basement workshop so we had hung a curtain separating her room to the workshop and the couch is right along the curtain. I start hearing loud equipment going and start having these hallucinations that D and L the owners of the house and friends of mine decide to build up the basement floor, suddenly I feel myself being built under the floor level they are creating, I’m being buried alive! At this point I cannot move any part of my body except I can reach with a part of my right arm.
I reach out and I suddenly feel this small hand it grasps mine and I grasp it back with all my might not knowing who’s hand but knowing that it feels familiar and warm. After what seems like hours and hours I decide I need to get out of this cement they have poured over me, I start wriggling and pulling when suddenly my face is pulled from behind Kats back like pulling it from plaster. I get up half terrified sure I was about to die and suffocate there. I seee Kat is now what appears to be in full sleep so I go over to the work shop and pick up a glass oil pipe , I start using the propane torch to bend the glass playing around with it, when another friend M comes downstairs she looks deeply sad at me , and says that she needs to tell me something that L and D are telling everyone not to tell me as they don’t want me to lose it. She informs me that my girlfriend C has passed away , that they found her dead in her sleep… fentanyl overdose. I pull out my phone and suddenly see all the texts.. “are you okay?” And so on .. I suddenly feel my world turn inside out.. the person I love more than life itself .. dead.. I stare at the pipe in my hands for what seems like eternity then make my way bake out to the shed I grabbed my things, take about 20 Xanax .5s , and leave the shed walking by myself at around 4am now all the way to the neighbouring city about 2 hours walk , I show up at my moms place tired, heartbroken and every other emotion hitting me tenth fold.
Now this trip had tremendously intense hallucinations I did not elaborate on as the main part of the trip that really grasped me was as my girlfriend lay dying I lay in a psychadellic trance reaching for a small hand, a small gentle hand like hers. To this day I believe the trip somehow allowed me to have this last intimate moment with someone I loved so much. I have never experienced any trip like this past or since it was life changing to say the least , a lot of ways it tore me apart making me feel bad for being with another girl on acid as my real love lay dying but I’ve come to understand the trip gave me that small intimate moment that was so real yet wasn’t. This was definitely one of the most profound experiences ever and now coming up on a year since the trip I felt the need to share it, curious if anyone else ever had a similar experience.
