My first ego death? (7.25g)

Hey y’all! This is my first post on here after lurking for many months. I have contemplated making a trip report in the past, but this last trip was definitely the most intense experience I have had in my life and I feel like I’m coming out of it with many questions. 

I had had maybe 10-12 trips before in the past year or so, ranging in dose each time. There were times that I had not waited the full two weeks before tripping again, but the trips were always a super giggly time for me, but I had never seen any heavy visuals except for when I tried 7 and 8 grams, and while intense at times I stayed just a pool of giggles throughout. 

I got some shrooms I had never tried before from one of my old friends, who warned me that they were pretty strong and healing, and I would trip on 1-2gs, but that had never worked for me in the past with different shrooms and so I didn’t believe her. That was sure a mistake haha.

On Monday morning around 11am I ground up 3g of leftover PE and one huge 4.25g shroom from the new batch I got from my friend, and mixed it into a bowl of applesauce. I finished the concoction around 11:40 and set up my space. I went outside to smoke a joint around 12 and could feel slight effects already coming into play. I recently got into Infected Mushroom so I was listening to that on Spotify while watching the tree branches flow in the wind. Went inside to lay on my spot on the couch, and my carpet (it’s pretty colorful as it is) had blue glowing orbs jumping out of it and dancing throughout the rug to the beat of infected mushrooms. It’s been not even an hour and it was the most intense visual I had seen so far, topping my highest dose of 8.6g of PE. I could feel the visuals just getting more and more intense, everywhere I would look things would quickly shift like in and out, there’s probably a specific word for this that idk haha. I remember suddenly feeling hot at a point and then my visuals turning red for a few seconds, this was the point I was like ok I’m not sure if I’m liking this. 

When I trip I usually have a few YouTube videos I like to watch to make me laugh, I put them on and it was like I wanted to laugh but my body wouldn’t allow it. Quickly figured out this was not going to be that kind of trip. I put on always sunny, another show that usually will keep me in good spirits and giggly, not only could I not laugh, but my visuals were beginning to turn into numbers/letters/symbols of some sort, in a line sort of going up and down like movie credits. 

I then put on Off The Air which is one of my favorite tripping shows typically, and it was good for a while, but this is where I really began to lose my mind. 

I remember reading online somebody saying “you may feel like you need to 💩 that’s just your third eye opening”. I probably am interpreting this totally wrong, but when I closed my eyes when watching Off The Air it was like I could still see what was happening on the TV, I’d open back up and compare and be amazed. 

Shortly after this, my mind began looping a bit. Thoughts of “im glitching” “the simulation” “im a glitch in the simulation” repeating over and over in my head. Off The Air (which is already a trippy show in general) did not look like the same show anymore I’m not sure how to explain it, I was seeing like a weird shroom version of it. Shortly after the “glitching” thought loops I can’t even remember how or when the negative thoughts about myself began but there was a point where I was convinced a needed a mental hospital or serious help. Utterly freaking out and not knowing why. Just very overwhelming. It was around 2:30 at this point, I texted my friend telling her I took way too much and was freaking out. Within the next hour I must have talked myself away from all the bad thoughts that were in my head, around 3:45 I texted her again and told her to disregard my shroom text haha. I was still tripping a bit but the visuals got far less intense and more of what I was used to. I was calm now enough to smoke another joint and then was able to have a bit of the giggly trip I was expecting originally for the next couple hours. It was a rollercoaster that’s for damn sure. I really am still trying to process the experience, I have a feeling what I experienced was ego death but don’t know for sure? I do know that I should trust my friend now though and when she says it’s strong she means it 🤣