Just WTF

First a little background. I've done shrooms plenty of times, normally with my best friend, and we normally do about 1.3-1.8g each which gives us both a really good drunk feeling. We got an oz and did them about twice a week for a few weeks and I had about 2.3g left when I went home and decided to do them by myself one night.

So its the Sunday before Thanksgiving, I just rearranged my room and created me a Zen Zone, its been a good day and I'm in a good mood so I decide to do them that night. Its 11pm, my mom and her boyfriend are both asleep in their room and I go into my room and grind up the 2.3g and mix it with some lemon juice. Let it sit for about 25 minutes, strain it, add some sugar and water, and then turn on some music.

Normally when tripping I don't like music, it just seems to annoy me, but figure I will put it  on while waiting and once it kicks in I'll probably turn it off and do something else. When me and my best friend do the lemon tek we normally drink it over the course of about 30 minutes to an hour. I wanted to make sure I got the full effect of the 2.3 (This is also the first time I've done this much) so I wanted to do it quicker this time. Grabbed a bag of sun chips, eat 2 chips, take a drink, repeat. Lemonade was gone is less than 10 minutes.

I sit back and wait for it to kick in while just listening to the music. After a short bit I start feeling the music take hold of me and a euphoric feeling starts overcoming me. I just cant quit dancing and smiling and laughing and just keep saying "Wow, Holy shit, God damn, What the fuck". Its just the most amazing thing I've ever felt.

After about an hour I have to piss so go in the bathroom and piss then took a look in the mirror. I just sat there and started talking to myself in the mirror and making funny faces and laughing at myself for about half an hour. Finally decide to go back in my room and start listening to music again.

When I make it back to room I realize that I'm a bit worn out from all the dancing so I lay down while the music still plays. When I close my eyes all I see is fireworks exploding into RGB raindrops and feel as if there is so much serotonin in my system that the top of my head is going to blow off and start raining serotonin down on everyone in the neighborhood.

After about another hour suddenly I just started thinking about everything. My little brother died about 10 years ago from a heroin overdose, I've gone thru a divorce and only get to see my daughter one weekend a month, the current fucked up state of the world, and I just hadn't dealt with any of it properly, just kept bottling it up. It just all suddenly came on all at once and I just started crying uncontrollably. Just pouring out gallons of tears and just cried for half an hour but the entire time I'm crying it just feels so good. Finally letting out all of the emotions that I have kept bottled inside for the last 10 years just felt so freeing, like the weight of everything was finally lifted from me and I felt so much better afterwards.

Once I stopped crying I realized that my lips were so dry they felt like they were going to peel off my face. I heard a bit of noise in the house so figure my mom might be up so I'll ask her if she has any chap stick. I go into her room and she is sitting in bed and her boyfriend is laying in her lap. She just looks at me and says "I need you to call 911, I think my BF overdosed on fentanyl. He's not breathing." To which my response is just "Mother Fucker" and I walk off. I get to my door, turn around, and say "I'm calling them."

Here I am higher then I've ever been in my life on these shrooms and I'm trying to talk to 911, calm the dog down, hear over my mom hysterically crying, and teach her how to do CPR all at the same time. Paramedics finally get here, give him some Narcan, and take him out in a stretcher. Dude decided to get up in the middle of the night and do fentanyl and then lay back down. He's lucky my mom woke up and noticed he wasn't breathing or he would have been dead by morning. I was tired, worn out, and was on the come down by the time they left so I decided it was time to go to bed.

I haven't done shrooms since but I got some GTs fruiting right now so plan on doing them this weekend but can't stop thinking about everything that happened this last time. Even after everything that happened that night for the next 4-5 weeks both my anxiety and depression were better then I can ever remember. I can tell the last week or 2 they have slowly started to come back but its still amazing how well these things can help heal mental issues that even years of therapy, counseling, and meds can't do.