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It Had Been a Long, Long,Time

I think I had a breakthrough

Hi, I would like to share with everyone my trip report from last summer.  I am 55, and I experienced quite a bit of psychedelics back in the 90's, with many mind blowing experiences.  I wasn't doing it for anything particularly spiritual, I just loved fractals and psychedelic experiences.  I did have a couple less than pleasant experiences as well. 
   Well, fast forward about 25 years, and my ex wife told me she could get some shrooms, which I hadn't touched in decades.  In the years after my last trip, I raised a daughter, had a number of big events in my life, lots of positive and negative events.  These facts made me feel a bit of trepidation about tripping again after all the life experience that could be tapped into.  I decided that I felt confident I could have a good experience, I was in a very spiritual frame of mind about it, not giddy with excitement, but more of an anxious anticipation.  
  I bought a quarter ounce of the shrooms and planned a day with a childhood friend, who also hadn't tripped in many years.  We made a tea, using the "lemon tek" as well.  We split the quarter, so it was 3.5 grams each of an unknown strain of shrooms.  The tea was very pleasant and we gulped it right down.  We meandered around, he set up some tunes, (he put on some Tool, which is very powerful music to listen to tripping).  The come up felt like an elevator, we both were feeling effects in about 10 minutes and I was personally seeing open eye visuals in about 20 minutes.  We sat out on his patio, he lives in a large house, in the woods, with natural gray wood siding.  I am sitting in the lawn chair and the siding is getting very animated, with the knots in the wood becoming eyes and the grain flowing like rivers.  My friend was fixated on his dog, Bodie, he kept saying "Bodie, bodie, bodie, bodie" over and over again.  We decided to start a fire, and by this time, things are very weird and lighting a fire was quite a challenge, the kindling was squirming and glowing and not at all looking pleasant and I was struggling to light it.  It's just smoldering and the smoke is following me everywhere, I was beginning to get pretty agitated by this.  So, I sat a bit farther away and the Tool music was causing that wood wall to melt into some sort of Egyption looking figure, extremely huge, like a great statue, with beams of rainbows coming from every angle of it's body, pulsating with the music.  I was starting to trip very hard.  That's when the mosquitoes started.....Mosquitos and spiritual experiences do NOT go hand in hand, I was getting very annoyed and told my buddy that I needed to get the hell out of the outdoors and into a more pleasant area.  (Not to mention, I couldn't even look at that wall anymore, it was extremely intense).  My buddy didn't even respond, as far as I know, he was in his own trip at this point and I was on my own. 
   I stumbled and wandered my way into my friends family room, it was just him and me at the house, and I just plopped on a recliner, with a blanket and after that, the world got much crazier.  I was having waves of intense visuals, the real world items around me were dissolving into color and sound.  My friend lives on a state route and 18 wheelers would blast down the road, hitting their jake brakes and sending blasts of colors across my vision, synesthesia?  I remember the colorful hallucinations and weird words being repeated in my my mind, like the word bananas, and monkeyshines and rubberbands.  The words would coincide with repeating patterns of rainbow colors and I was literally out of my freakin' mind.  At one point, I used the bathroom, and it took about six months and I could barely walk or operate my zipper.  The bathroom was a menagerie of mushroom created lifeforms, oozing out of every patterned surface.  After that debacle, I settled back in the recliner and experienced what I would have to describe as a "breakthrough" experience.  The reality of the room I was in completely dissolved.  The colorful hallucinations toned way back and I felt like I was in an empty space, a dark void.   After a short time?, I could feel and see "prescences" in my peripheral vision, and I could see glimpses of them, but knew instinctually that I didn't want to make eye contact. They looked a little bit like AI generated faces, sort of demonic, pale, with eyes that seemed to look rather crazy.  Very unhuman.  That's not an accurate description, but the best I can muster.  Waves of hostility came from these entities, but I knew if I didn't engage them, they wouldn't be able to approach me.  Light was coming from above, beams of light, winking in out like someone was operating some kind of louvers or something, I felt deeply that the light was where I needed to go to reach a higher presence, one that was decidedly not hostile.  I couldn't see inside the louvers, the light was too bright.  I begged for just a little more insight, just a bit more elevation, so I could reach this place, but I couldn't  manage it, but what I felt emanating from this light was great love and knowledge and understanding.  I wonder if it is Source, or our creator or God, I don't know, I wasn't given entrance to the place.  I don't know if a larger dose of mushrooms would have allowed me in there, I wonder.  I began to feel the familiar feelings of being part of all things, and knowing great secrets, only to slowly be forgotten as I started the slide back into our reality.  My friend was changing the music to country and when a song that was very dear to me came on, it pulled me back to our world and everything started coming back into focus, albeit slowly.  We watched some old Pink Floyd, Live at Pompeii, it was very pleasant to come down to.  Once the peak subsided, the trip back down was very quick, probably about an hour.  I don't know if it was the lemon, but the mushrooms sent me up like a rocket and down almost as fast.  My friend put a couple big pork chops on the grill and we had a nice dinner!   He had a great time, but his experience wasn't nearly as exultant as what I went through.  Now,  a year later, and I am growing my first batch of shrooms, I had a long lasting sense of contentment after last summer's trip, I hope to have another in a little while and hopefully it will give me more insights, I want to travel farther!  I am going to try very hard to have a focused intention next time, and be better prepared.  Thank you for reading this!  

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