132 grams of wet semilanceata

I decided to take twice the amount I've taken in the past because every time I have upped the dosage previously I gained new insights and wonderful new experiences, but this was different. It took probably 20 minutes to begin to feel the effect of the first mushrooms at which point I was still taking them (there were a lot!) but I persevered and got them all down within about 30 mins. My ears started ringing as they always do, or the ringing became more pronounced, and I began seeing patterns on the walls of my room and the walls were breathing as they do. I was seeing snakes in things at this point (not unfriendly), the fold of my blankets, the reflection of some plastic - I thought that might be a theme but then things got incredibly strange & that was the last I saw of the snakes. The hallucinations grew more intense so I shut off the light for some deep introspection and closed my eyes as swirling, colourful patterns spiralled towards me like playing cards seen through a kaleidoscope. The hallucinations became more and more intense until I couldn't differentiate between having my eyes closed, or open - I was completely disconnected from reality at this point and it was quite disorientating. I felt like I was tumbling through space and I was surrounded by spirals of colours all moving towards me and stretching backwards into infinity. I realised that I was looking into things, rather than them jumping out at me, it was a two-dimensional hallucination rather than 3D, or if it was 3D it was inverted and I was looking into the image, but I couldn't see any sides to it, just depth. I surprised myself by beginning to worry at this point as I was so disorientated that I think my ego was making one last stand to convince itself that it was in control, when obviously it wasn't. I spent a couple of minutes worrying that this might be it for the rest of my life, I would be completely divorced from reality forever but that soon passed as I slipped even deeper into the trip. At this point I really could not understand anything about what was going on, I was searching for a glimpse of God which I have intuned on previous trips but I couldn't find any sign of any other consciousness out there with me. I then became confused about family members who were dead & those who were living. I became very solipsistic and seemed to be telling myself that there was no way of knowing if any of these people actually existed, which is kind of the exact opposite of the 'universal consciousness' vibe I have had in the past on lower doses. It's hard to remember clearly but I seem to recall another voice at this point, possibly mine or possibly not, suggesting that everything is perspective. Me, you, life death, present past... it's all just a perspective, I suppose this must be ego death because in that moment I seemed to be quite accepting of what I had thought to be the reality of my life and soul as simply one of an infinite number of perspectives, no better, or worse than any other. Life, death and time were completely meaningless to me at this point all just different perspectives on the same thing, that being the universe I suppose. I either wasn't thinking clearly or I was thinking clearly but I'm unable to fully recall, or relate to my experiences at this point, I'm just not sure. I was tripping very, very hard. I have no idea how long this dreamlike state lasted, but as I began to come out of it I got some truly beautiful visuals and colours and I remember asking myself where these colours came from given that I was in the dark with my eyes closed. I enjoyed watching them for a while, my favourite image was a kind of squid, or kraken that was moving and breathing and shimmering in a multitude of colours; it was so beautiful to watch. The more I came down from my trip the more things started to make sense and I began to experience the familiar feeling of deep love and profound  joy that I am lucky enough to experience when I trip. I thought of all the wonderful things in my life and gave thanks for them and I marvelled at the perfect beauty of the world. When I finally felt like I could safely move I got up and went to give my kittens a gentle head scratch and a kiss and I felt so unbelievably lucky to have them in my life. I felt happy and confident and positive towards the future. At this point it was about 5 hours after I ate the mushrooms and I was still tripping at probably level 2. I did feel a little disappointment at not gaining the insights I'd been hoping for, or talking with alien beings, or leaving my body to fly across dimensions or whatever, but reading my report back I think perhaps there were more lessons in it that I initially realised they were just so unfamiliar to me it will probably take me some time to parse their full meaning. In retrospect however, I will probably stick to 5grams dried (50-70 wet) in the future as taking more than that is just so confusing it's difficult to know what's going on, or to remember the things you thought about at the time, which for me is the whole point of tripping. I'm not looking to have a fun time, I want to find myself and find God and if I meet any inter-dimensional beings on the way then all the better. So far no interdimensional beings, but there's always next time!