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A weird one

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Having spent the morning collecting mushrooms, my
girlfriend Jackie and I decided to trip together... It was
about three in the afternoon and we decided to take
about 30 shrooms each of the batch I had collected and
dried the day before (I don't know what the name of the
shrooms is; they're the small, white-tipped ones that
you get in Ireland...) we've tripped together before and
had a great time...

The setting for the trip is a small seaside community in
the south of Ireland, basically lots of holiday homes, dirt
tracks, a rocky beach and lots of farms... Jackie and I
went to a bar, sat in the beer garden and chomped
down the shrooms with a packet of Bacon Fries... as
we were sitting in a kind of awkward place we moved to
sit on the grass and look at the sea... what I didn't
realise was that I had left my new pack of Marlboro
Lights and my engraved Zippo behind when I changed
places... about five - ten minutes later I notice they're
gone, turn around, no fags, no lighter... some bastard
kid had stolen them... the lighter was really special to
me, Jackie had given it to me as a present some
months before and had 'Fuck Communism' engraved
on it (that's a reference to the comic 'Preacher' by the
way, I ain't got no problems with Commies :) )

Soooo... I'm starting come up a bit now, colours are
looking a bit brighter and my legs are going a little
spongy (I'm guessing that this is about T-30 mins from
ingestion)... I decided to put the matter of my lighter out
of my mind and enjoy what was happening...

Having bought more cigarettes, lighter and water off we
went for a walk on the beach... feeling progressively
more 'floaty' and seeing things increasingly brighter we
walked for about 20 minutes I guess... I decided I had
to sit down and have a cig, Jackie decided that she
wanted to go paddling and climbing on rocks... at first I
was fine with this, but started getting more and more
worried as she leaned off rocks and put her hands in
the water... I tried to ignore it, lie back and enjoy the
sun... no such luck... I'm seriously fretting now, I want to
call her to come in and sit with me but I don't want to
impose on her... a child walks past me, he looks like an
angel, snow white hair and really small and thin...
Jackie finally comes back to me, a massive smile on
her face, shes having the time of her life... she sits next
to me and gives me a big hug... it feels wonderful but
there’s still something unsettling me...

We start walking up a big hill, the shrooms are starting
to peak now (I'd say T-90 mins from ingestion)... my
head feels a little stuffy and my voice is slightly
distorted... I start to notice little things, the shades of
green that I normally don't register (I'm colour-blind
red/green), how the blue of the sky looks through the
trees, Photoshop-esqe filter effects on stone walls... we
stop to rest for a minute and went I sit down I notice that
the ground is 'breathing'... its pulsing in and out to its
own rhythm and looks really cool... the 'weird' feeling is
still there, it's like I can't kick back and let the shrooms
work their magic fully... I start getting the sensation that I
need to go for a shit... this presents a problem... we're
out in the middle of the countryside, the friend of mine
whom we were staying with has gone to work (about 12
miles away in the city) and there’s nowhere to go... I try
and convince myself that it'll pass and sure enough it
does for a while... for a while :(

We reach the top of the hill and find ourselves at the
very field we picked mushrooms from that morning...
we start walking down another little road and we spy
freshly harvested hayfield... we crawled under the
barbed wire and sat in the hay and talked, kissed and
hugged... the kissing is a very unique sensation, its
happened to me once before tripping with Jackie... I
lose all sense of my body pretty much and all sensation
focuses on the act of kissing, the inhalation of breath
and the feel of our lips touching... it lasts for a few
seconds and then we snap out of it and laugh and
smile at each other... after a bit more laying down I tell
Jackie about how I wasn't really relaxed in my mind
(that sounds stupid but I can't think of how else to say
it...).. she hugs me and tells me its OK... I wish I could
believe her... the urge to shit returns with a vengeance...
I run off to a secluded spot and have possibly the worst
shitting experience of my adult life, really messy and
dirty... I didn't get any on my clothes or anything but ugh,
it was just horrible... feeling no better I return to Jackie
and lie down again... I'm getting pretty intense closed
eye visuals now, lots of moving shapes in red and
blue... it looks very beautiful... then I open my eyes.. the
sky... good god... I've never seen anything like it.. it's one
enormous jewel, shades of blue I didn't know existed...
I'm gobsmacked... its one of the most beautiful things
I've ever seen...

Feeling kind of shitty (excuse the pun) I decide I've had
enough of the countryside... I need music, a shower,
something... have it in my head that my friend whose
house we were staying in will have a key outside for his
house... I ring him up and ask... his voice, so familiar
yet so far away tells me that there’s no key, he asks me
if I'm having a good time.. I say "Kind of" then hang up...
I'm starting to get quite upset... I have nowhere to go...
there's a bus in an hour but I know I couldn't possibly
get on a bus now... I'm absolutely out of my head.. I
have a bright idea how we can go to my friends garden,
I know that its safe.. I say this to Jackie, she wants to
too (shes getting more worried about me now I think..)
and we walk off holding hands... we walk along in
silence, Jackie enjoying the silence, me getting
increasingly freaked out... I ask her to talk to me.. shes
does.. she talks about the walk, the sky, the hedges,
about us... when she starts saying our names and
squeezing my hand I burst out crying... I haven't cried in
years but the sight of Jackie holding my hand minding
me and the realisation of how much I love her hit me
like a brick to the head...

We eventually arrived at the house and sat in the
garden watching the evening set in and slowly began
realising I was coming down a bit... I rang another
friend to order a cab back to my house in the city.. the
same feeling 'a lump in the throat' hits me as I get off
the phone to him and I get a bit upset again...

We go down the road to wait for the cab... as we wait,
laughing and joking away a car pulls up next to us and
winds down the window... the driver leans out, looking
directly at me and says "Louie is just down the road, he
wanted to stop but had to get home so can you give him
a ring?"... now, this is slightly confusing to say the
least... I don't know anyone called Louie... I'm borderline
falling over confused but it turns out that its Jackie that
he should have been talking to.. Louie was some guy in
her class at college... phew...

The cab arrives and its being driven by this 50 year old
mom with big mad sunglasses.. good sign... I spend
the 30-minute drive home drawing in a notebook and
writing down all the things I can see out the car
window... I get more and more excited to be home and
when the cab arrives at my house I'm overjoyed at the
thought of seeing my friends who live with me and
having a cup of tea... we arrive in the door, hugs all
round and get settled into the couch.. the house has
been getting stoned for the day so theres a lovely
mellow vibe all round... things are good...

We spend the rest of the evening smoking joints,
looking at art books, drinking tea and slowly coming
down... I feel a million dollars after my shower... we
head off to bed at about one, I fall asleep straight
away...

In retrospect, the trip wasn't as bad as I thought
initially... I saw some beautiful things and I had a
personal revelation regarding the strength of my
feelings toward Jackie... the things that I think I did
wrong were:
• having a heavy ass bag to lug around with me all day
so I couldn't stretch out when walking
• having no 'plan' and therefore just walkin’ aimlessly
around a place I didn't really know
• no music/drinks/stuff to play with
• having no base to go to when things went pearshaped

All of these things are things to note for the next time...
I'm actually glad in a way that it didn't go as swimmingly
as usual, I was starting to think that tripping was always
going to be roses... I'm looking forward to my next time
with my new insights :)

Thanks for reading :)

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